Ask Me Help Desk - I think my daughter is being sexually abused by my boyfriend of 7 years

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alty

I do agree. So far the OP has been caught in a few lies, so what's to say that she's not lying about her boyfriend/husband, whatever he is, being a registered sex offender?

AND There is NO LAW SAYING YOU CAN'T LIVE WITH A REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER... The detective told me after my kid was interviewed that he know of my husbands background & of his crime & that there is no law saying you can't live with a sex offender. CPS never questioned me on that, they interviewed my husband & believed him of my child. So apparently CPS doesn't do their job too well!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Adodge

AND THEIR IS NO LAW SAYING YOU CAN'T LIVE WITH A REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER.... The detective told me after my kid was interviewed that he know of my husbands background & of his crime & that their is no law saying you can't live with a sex offender. CPS never questioned me on that, they interviewed my husband & believed him of my child. So apparently CPS doesn't do their job too well!

Again, that makes no sense.

No, there's no law stating that you can't live with a registered sex offender. But there are restrictions for people on the sex offenders list, and one of those restrictions is not being in proximity to children, or minors.

If he's a registered sex offender, he never would have been allowed to live with you and your child, the one that isn't biologically his.

You knew about his past, you knew about his drug abuse, maybe not from the beginning, but you obviously figured it out. You saw many incidents with your children that weren't okay, yet you're still with him.

So leave! If you don't leave, don't protect your children, then you're exactly what everyone else has stated, a bad mom.

I'm done. You've gotten the only advice we can give. Accept it, and do something about it, or stay and suffer the consequences. Sadly, you won't be the one suffering, your children will.

The next move is up to you. We can't do anything else for you. We've given the best advice we can. Your turn. Do the right thing, or continue ignoring what's going on right in front of you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alty

Your original question states that he's your boyfriend, not your husband. I am married, I never call my husband my boyfriend, because he's not. Do you not understand why that would raise questions?

One question. If he's a registered sex offender, how was he ever allowed around our first child, the one that's no his, in the first place? There are restrictions for registered sex offenders.

Also, how is he not in jail now that you've gone to the authorities and claimed that your children may have been molested by this man?

Bottom line, your posts don't line up. It's a lot harder to keep lies straight. The truth is easy, and I still don't believe we're getting the whole truth.

I can tell you that if you decide to be honest, I may be mad, but I won't judge. I'll help. I'll stay, and I'll give you advice. But right now I really don't believe what you're saying, because it doesn't make sense.

Yes I see that I posted he is my bofriend on the first Thread & I can see why that would raise questions. We r not legally married because we never got the marriage license so I still have to use my last night & paper work seperatly!

And the only restriction for sex offenders are that they can't live within so many miles of a school or park. There is no law that you can't live with a sex offender & no law saying that one can't have a family. He had sex with a 14 yr old when he was 19 & I saw the papers where it was consensual & she lied about her age so I didn't think anything of it when I first met him. He isn't in jail because my daughter didn't disclose of anything, I told them about my suspicions but she didn't disclose any information the CPS did in home visit & seen it's a safe home with utilities, food own bedroom with seperatly beds then talked to my husband. They closed the case & told me that they are trained in that area & that it's safe for me to go home because I had to stay at my parents until the investigation was over so that I don't mess the investigation up or I would have went to jail. They told me It was safe to go home so I was totally confused in what to think but it has still stuck in my head. I have already moved out still in the process of moving some things!

I will post this here since its easier::, after 4 years of dating he introduced me to meth but I never got into it because my kids mean more to me<-- from my original post... I never got into it meaning that I have tried it a few times. I never said that I didn't do drugs I tried it a few times & it's not far me. So the person that got confused about that needs to re read my original post! I don't do drugs

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alty

Again, that makes no sense.

No, there's no law stating that you can't live with a registered sex offender. But there are restrictions for people on the sex offenders list, and one of those restrictions is not being in close proximity to children, or minors.

If he's a registered sex offender, he never would have been allowed to live with you and your child, the one that isn't biologically his.

You knew about his past, you knew about his drug abuse, maybe not from the beginning, but you obviously figured it out. You saw many incidents with your children that weren't okay, yet you're still with him.

So leave! If you don't leave, don't protect your children, then you're exactly what everyone else has stated, a bad mom.

I'm done. You've gotten the only advice we can give. Accept it, and do something about it, or stay and suffer the consequences. Sadly, you won't be the one suffering, your children will.

The next move is up to you. We can't do anything else for you. We've given the best advice we can. Your turn. Do the right thing, or continue ignoring what's going on right in front of you.

Guess what... He registered at the same address with me and my daughter that isn't biologically his for yrs & they never arrested him for it or said anything. They can't live so many miles by school and parks but they can have family's!! And parole out to family with children, I have stated 3 or 4 times that I moved out... I did my part

You don't do drugs? You tried meth! You have done drugs, and meth is highly addictive, so you can't say you don't do drugs. You have, which means you could again.

As for the rest of your post, who are you protecting? Sounds like you're protecting him, and making excuses for him.

He's a rapist, it doesn't matter if the girl consented, she wasn't of legal age to consent, she was a child, he was an adult. That's why he's a registered sex offender!

I'm tired of your excuses.

You've gotten the only advice we can give, follow it, or don't, your choice.

I'm out.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Adodge

Guess what... He registered at the same address with me and my daughter tht isn't biologically his for yrs & they never arrested him for it or said anything. They can't live so many miles by school and parks but they can have family's!!! And parole out to family with children, I have stated 3 or 4 times that I moved out.... I did my part

If you moved out then why are we here? Why are we bothering?

Good, you moved out. Have a great life, and protect your children.

Good luck.

Good bye.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alty

No, there's no law stating that you can't live with a registered sex offender. But there are restrictions for people on the sex offenders list, and one of those restrictions is not being in close proximity to children, or minors.

This is not always true. It depends on the level of the offense as well as what his probation/parole outlines.

Quote:

Originally Posted by J_9

This is not always true. It depends on the level of the offense as well as what his probation/parole outlines.

I didn't know that, but I do stand by the rest of my post.

The OP has seen the sexual abuse, but still questions it. She's gotten the best, and only advice we can offer, and frankly, I only believe 1/4 of what she's said, because of the proven inconsistencies.

I think we're wasting our time. Boyfriend/husband, she doesn't do drugs, she does do drugs, she only tried drugs, she witnessed her boyfriend masturbating in the bed with her child, she saw her child's panties pulled down, while the bf/husband was in bed with them, but she doesn't know if her kids are being molested because a child is too afraid to tell the truth?

I'm done. She either saves her children, or she allows them to be molested, or be in the same home as a meth addict. Those are her options. One makes her a reasonably good mother, even though it took long enough. I say reasonably because it took her 7 years to wake up! The other option makes her a neglectful mother whose children should be take away.

Either way, I'm done. I'm no longer sympathetic to anyone other than those poor kids, and since they have no choice, I'm done helping the one person that does. She knows what she has to do, so she should do it. No further discussion needed.

Alty out.

I will just state I have left, & yes I did try meth but it's only addictive if you allow it to be, I never let it control me. Everyone makes mistakes & no body is perfect! I know what I saw & I'm not questioning it, I am not doubting it. I was confused & was looking for answers on what to do. I am going to protect my kids from him & take care of them. I have 3 girls to look out for. I just needed to hear it I guess to process it all. & I didn't let it go on for 7 yrs I said it was recent behavior