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-   -   I am deployed and my wife asked if she could have sex with another man (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=342840)

  • Apr 22, 2009, 05:25 AM
    smoothy
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by barbazhp View Post
    All very good and truthful points; I assumed the couple was young since usually young men are fighting for our freedom. The truth is sad that many men marry before they get sent out and women cheat, sell their stuff and do terrible things.

    But is seemed so uncaring and naive to ask your husband to give you permission to cheat that I thought this woman is confused, lonely, missing her husband and may have someone tempting her making her more confused.

    If she truly loves him which is at least 50% of the time (50 % of marriages work) then she is asking for help to solve an issue that is overwhelming her but can be solved. If I was going to cheat on a man, I would not call and ask permission. Never! I'd just do it.

    If I missed him and didn't know what I was feeling, other than missing his sugar, I'd ask for help from him and perhaps mess it up like she did by not really having a grip on what it is she needs and her asking him permission is saying” I love you, I do not want to hurt you, I am lonely, I have never felt this way before so I am equating it with sex." I see the wife as reaching out to her husband, which one does when they are in love. If she was an uncaring, back stabbing, evil person, she would just have many affairs, run around and not tell him unless she fell for another guy then she'd take everything and divorce him.

    Why ask for help? Honey I am loosing it!!! What can I do??? That is why he needs to get family, church members, other wives in the same situation, etc... Around her for support, to lean on and keep her from being lonely. Because she is confused about her emotions you get her butt into therapy. Then she is in good hands and he can trust on the support of the friends and family he has assigned to assist while he is gone and take care of what is really the most important thing. Staying alive.

    He is going to read this drama and warnings, although often true and feel hopeless. She is showing love by opening up and asking for help of her husband. He can count on the fact that she loves him. If she didn't she'd be having sex, answer his phone call while having sex, and lie to him about it. That is how someone not in love acts.

    I don't agree at all with that... "Honey I love you but I want to sleep with all of your buddies while you are gone " isn't love... thats disrespect, and self centered, and self serving behaviour. He is deployed, possibly in a dangerous area... and her main concern is getting laid.
  • Apr 22, 2009, 09:02 AM
    Lovelee
    Wow, the audacity of her to "ask" for permission to cheat on you while your deployed. I've heard some doozies in my life but this one tops all! You mean to tell me that her craving for sex is stronger then her desire to be faithful while you are gone? Sounds to me that she is too immature to be in a marriage where love, trust and faithfulness should be at the forefront.

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