I agree Alty IF he can find a way to break past her resisting him and get honest with him and herself then maybe the relationship is worth keeping and he can find the courage to encourage her but as long as she closes up and hides in her shell I am not so sure he should commit to marrying her. Love is a two way street and something has got to give.

I agree NoHelp. Marriage shouldn't even be considered at this point. She needs help, but the OP isn't the one to offer that help.

First she has to figure out why she feels the way she does, a therapist is a good start. From what the OP says she has gone to counselling but isn't honest and open with the consellor. She won't get anywhere until she opens up.

The OP cannot be expected to resolve this for her, and marriage will only make the problems bigger. This is a divorce waiting to happen.

For me, it's an every day issue, I haven't yet been able to get over or accept what happened, but I'm working on it. My relationship with my husband is very strong, but that's only because we communicate with each other. The OP and his fiancé are lacking that communication.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ordinaryguy

I agree, there's something she isn't telling, either because she's afraid to deal with it, or because she's successfully repressed it and doesn't know herself.

Alty, your courage is inspiring. There's nothing quite so powerful and helpful as words spoken from the heart that are based on personal experience. Hats off to you.

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Thanks ordinaryguy, I hope it helps the OP.

Hello D:

Ordinary guy is right. This ain't going to get fixed soon if at all. If you can do without a sex life, marry her. Otherwise, make a polite departure.

excon