Ask Me Help Desk - 19 year old inexperienced loser

Quote:

Originally Posted by jensallen

Also trust in the LORD and his word for guidence. A lot of peaple do not relize this, but the bible is a map route for your life to follow. if you do as he say's then you will make the wright decisions.

That only works if you're Christian. For those of us who aren't--making decisions based on the Bible would be like you basing all of your decisions on "Mein Kampf" or "Atlas Shrugged" or "A Prayer for Owen Meanie".

Making decisions based on what your friends think, though, is equally silly.

Make decisions based on what is best for YOU, not what your friends think you should do. At the risk of sounding like a mom--if your friends decided that bridge jumping was cool, and that everyone does it these days, would YOU feel the need to jump off a bridge?

Quote:

Originally Posted by jensallen

Also trust in the LORD and his word for guidence. A lot of peaple do not relize this, but the bible is a map route for your life to follow. if you do as he say's then you will make the wright decisions.

There are all religions posting here so this is not good advice for everyone.

It's tough sometimes going against the flow. Love is not sex and having sex does not make a "man" or "woman" out of someone. The first time a person has sex, an innocence of spirit is lost. It's not just physical. When a person has sex, regardless of whether they love the person, a bond in spirit is created. There is nothing wrong with looking only. It will help you decide what you do and don't want. You don't want to bond with someone that you don't have a true connection with - it will mess you up. The first time you have sex will set the tone for every other relationship that you have after. The people who are negative really don't have a say in your life - it is your one and only life and only you get to live it. Sex can be fun, but it can be a life changing experience when you find someone that really attracts you mentally, physically and spiritually. When you find a person that you truly bond with, one that you can feel when they are thinking about you, one that you physically feel so alive when you see them or think about them, one that makes your whole day better because they were a part of it, that is a person to share yourself with. Sex does not = a relationship. Sex is only part of what a relationship can be. I waited until I was 20 and honestly, it wouldn't have hurt to wait longer. Later I found someone that I have incredible physical chemistry with. I know when he's thinking of me, I know when he's in the room with me without seeing him, the sound of his voice instantly warms me from head to toe and it's not just physical. We knew each other a year before anything occurred and it just made the coming together all the sweeter and so much more intense. Your innocence isn't something to be thrown away. It's not something to discard on someone else's negative opinion. It's something valuable to be spent on the right person at the right time. You will thank yourself for waiting for the time comes.

Obviously there issues with yourself that are making you less confident with yourself. Address the issues you have with yourself. Do your best to up yourself. Pride comes with hard work. As far as your friends bringing you down, should friends be doing that? The only person who's opinion on you who matters is you. People naturally want to be accepted but you don't need acceptance. This comes easier with age.

When I was in high school my situation was similar to yours. I had an older friend sat me down and pointed this stuff out to me. She put it to me straight. Self-pity gets you no where in life. If you have a problem do something about it. If your unhappy with yourself it shows. Self confidence is sexy.

Not having a girlfriend isn't a big deal, its really an odds/probability thing. If your looking to gain relationship experience talk to as many girls as you can, that basically what it comes down to. I am really bad at approaching girls and making good first impressions so I keep it small, simple and pleasant. Then repeat as many times as I can and if you do that enough you will get to know a lot of people and gain friends as well girlfriends.

Your friends more than likely have no idea what makes a good girlfriend, so don't listen to them. Looks are not important, nice touch but the happiness that that particular trait by itself self brings is fast fleeting.

What are you going to school for? If it's a difficult college career you have ahead be wary of how deeply involved you get and how dedicated she is to school. But other than that school is the perfect place to meet tons of girls. If you see a girl walking by themselves or in groups say hi and smile, every-time(just don't make beelines towards them).
You don't look like a creep if you do it all the time, you look like a nice guy and it makes it a lot easier to start a conversation with a girl you have said hi to a bunch of times later.

Please go to planned parenthood and educate yourself about how to have safe sex and how safe safe sex is. Wrap it up every time.

Good luck.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DuBas07

Obviously there issues with yourself that are making you less confident with yourself. Address the issues you have with yourself. Do your best to up yourself. Pride comes with hard work. As far as your friends bringing you down, should friends be doing that? The only person whos opinion on you who matters is you. People naturally want to be accepted but you dont need acceptance. This comes easier with age.

When I was in high school my situation was similar to yours. I had an older friend sat me down and pointed this stuff out to me. She put it to me straight. Self-pity gets you no where in life. If you have a problem do something about it. If your unhappy with yourself it shows. Self confidence is sexy.

Not having a girlfriend isnt a big deal, its really an odds/probability thing. If your looking to gain relationship experience talk to as many girls as you can, that basically what it comes down to. I am really bad at approaching girls and making good first impressions so I keep it small, simple and pleasant. Then repeat as many times as I can and if you do that enough you will get to know alot of people and gain friends as well girlfriends.

Your friends more than likely have no idea what makes a good girlfriend, so dont listen to them. Looks are not important, nice touch but the happiness that that particular trait by itself self brings is fast fleeting.

What are you going to school for? If its a difficult college career you have ahead be wary of how deeply involved you get and how dedicated she is to school. But other than that school is the perfect place to meet tons of girls. If you see a girl walking by themselves or in groups say hi and smile, every-time(just dont make beelines towards them).
You dont look like an if you do it all the time, you look like a nice guy and it makes it a lot easier to start a conversation with a girl you have said hi to a bunch of times later.

Please go to planed parenthood and educate yourself about how to have safe sex and how safe safe sex is. Wrap it up every time.

Good luck.

Typical new generation of teenagers..

"OH! LOOK AT THAT GUY! He's a VIRGIN! *mocks* He can't get any!"
"Hahaha! he's probably a closet gay"

Seriously. I don't know what the heck happened but the teenagers need to get their heads out of the sandbox and start using it. Sure, you're 19 and a virgin but it's not end of the world. Your arms and legs aren't broken, fractured, amputated, injured.. You don't suffer from psychological disorders such as depression, schizophrenia, cognitive disorder, Attention Deficit-Hyperactivity Disorder etc.

You're normal.

Quote:

Originally Posted by hjpan

Typical new generation of teenagers..

"OH! LOOK AT THAT GUY! He's a VIRGIN! *mocks* He can't get any!"
"Hahaha! he's probably a closet gay"

Seriously. I don't know what the heck happened but the teenagers need to get their heads out of the sandbox and start using it. Sure, you're 19 and a virgin but it's not end of the world. Your arms and legs aren't broken, fractured, amputated, injured.. You don't suffer from psychological disorders such as depression, schizophrenia, cognitive disorder, Attention Deficit-Hyperactivity Disorder etc.

You're normal.

I wasn't mocking anyone!?

Quote:

Originally Posted by DuBas07

I wasnt mocking anyone!?!

I didn't say you was mocking anyone...

I mean the teenagers

I was wondering why you quoted Dubas ---still don't get that?