Ask Me Help Desk - Can a gay guy go straight

Is he actually jealous or are you perveiving jealousy? He does not need to change his sexuality to be happy (why "for his sake"?). You, however, need to grow up and realize that you can't always get what you want. It is almost impossible (and some argue completely impossible) for a gay man to turn straight or vice versa. If he is gay, you are probably analyzing everything he does and reading romance into his behavior.

Whether he's gay, he doesn't seem like he's into you. Like I said before, if you can't just get over that, maybe you should take a break from the friendship.

You would disagree because you do not know right from wrong or good from evil because you do not believe there is a God... but whether he is into me or whateva the case may be... I hope he isn't gay and if he is I still hope he changes, not for me as I quote again but for his sake... these things are of the world... it is not true happiness.. and I believe there is every possibility for change by God's grace...

Quote:

Originally Posted by goldilox

I just want to know how possible it is for a gay guy to go straight because i have this friend who is actually my best friend and we both go way back from school and now we work together...we do practically everything together; work, party, gym, tennis, you name it, except sleep together. He has been claiming to be interested in me during those years we've been friends but its almost as if his gears changes time to time..so like some times he shows his interest in me and other times it goes back to just being friends. this has gone on for years but ive always had my suspicions that he had this gay thing to him which he always denied when i asked him. ive seen the way he behaves with other gay guys and most of his guy friends are gay...he enjoys flirting with them and a few occasions ive seen him go back to his room with them even though he said that they just wanted to spend the night because they were tired. right now he's started back on that same trend where he's really getting emotional and all about me and he wants to be with me. I am confused. I'm beginning to have these feelings for him that i never thought i would feel and i dont know what to do....he gets mad when he sees others guys interested in me and right now he's being very cold as a result of that...for a few weeks now we have not been as close as we've always been and hardly even communicating....what do you think?do you think he can change?

As Woody Allen sez, 'Being Bisexual means you've doubled your chances for a date Saturday night!'

I hate to ask but are you that hard up that you can't find someone, anyone, that is a better bet than this gay or bi guy? These boards are covered up with wimmen wondering if their guy is gay or bi or genderbending or whatever and it doesn't look like a fun experience other than having a great woman Monday morning story of, 'you have pain? Let me tell you about pain, you don't even know where it lives - my husband/BF is wearing my clothes and sleeping with ever man he can including my brother, my cousins, uncles, Dad (and StepDad) and then he... ' and 'its just so humilating to me as a woman!'
You'll find few will listen as you knew it going in.

Oh, have you noticed that some gays are far better drama queens than most wimmen ever thought of being?

So iffen you are up and ready for that kind of thing, have a great time and be sure to write.

Please to rate if helpful.

Quote:

Originally Posted by cpalmist

As Woody Allen sez, 'Being Bisexual means you've doubled your chances for a date Saturday night!'

I hate to ask but are you that hard up that you can't find someone, anyone, that is a better bet than this gay or bi guy? These boards are covered up with wimmen wondering if their guy is gay or bi or genderbending or whatever adn it doesn't look like a fun experience other than having a great woman Monday morning story of, 'you have pain?! Let me tell ya about pain, you don't even know where it lives - my husband/BF is wearing my clothes and sleeping with ever man he can including my brother, my cousins, uncles, Dad (and StepDad) and then he....' and 'its just so humilating to me as a woman!'
You'll find few will listen as you knew it going in.

Oh, have you noticed that some gays are far better drama queens than most wimmen ever thought of being?

So iffen you are up and ready for that kind of thing, have a great time and be sure to write.

Please to rate if helpful.

Thank you for your input... I am not totally sure that he really is... im hoping that he's not... but sometimes falling for someone is not always something you can help... this is not a situation I want to be in esp if he is... and I am fighting it.. my feelings etc.. so that I can move on... and I do agree that they are far better drama queens than most women... and I am also aware this is no pain compared to what others go through.. though I wouldn't really consider it (my situation) to be 'pain' but somewhat confusion.. looking for the truth, for an answer, wanting to know exactly what the situation is... in order for me to know where I am going...

Has it occurred to you that if he *is* gay (and I really do suspect he's gay), that YOU are preventing him from being happy in his own skin?

If you believe in God, and right and wrong--who are YOU to judge him? Isn't that GOD'S job?

Judgemental people with no tolerance and acceptance of how things ARE--those are the people fueling wars in the world.

Being Christian doesn't give you the right to decide what's right and wrong for the whole world, honey. Stop judging your friend and accept him as he IS --gay -- and maybe BOTH of you will be less confused.

Who said I was judging anyone? If you read my posts right I was in no way judging that he is... besides I don't even know for a fact that he is so how can I judge him? I am not preventing him from being happy.. afterall I wasn't interferring in his life at all where his relationships were concerned but he was the one pursueing me and he has been for years even when I pushed him away he wudn't stop... how can you say that?

Because you hope for his sake that he can change--I read that to be changing from gay to straight, because it's "wrong" to be gay.

If I'm wrong in how I read that, I'll apologize--but I really think that if he IS gay, he is hiding it from you by pursuing you--so that you don't hate him and thing that he's "wrong" and needs to change.

Again, my apologies if I misread your stance on it.

Now I understand why he's having a hard time coming out. At first I thought it was just that you were misreading his signal because you have a crush on him. Now I realize that he's a closet gay-man who surrounds himself with people who tell him he should hate himself. I think he's trying to be straight (unnaturally) to fit in with his dreadful circle of friends.

There is no helping those who don't want help. I'm sorry I wasted my time trying to help you.