Look at all the choices you have! You can listen to the good doctor, or US!
You have a choice, so make a decision. Confusion comes when you can't decide what you want to do.
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Look at all the choices you have! You can listen to the good doctor, or US!
You have a choice, so make a decision. Confusion comes when you can't decide what you want to do.
The way I see it.. If she can't communicate with you and be honest with you and continues to use you for her own desparation, forget her! Women like this are single and "available" for a reason.
Also, I know a lot of times things do happen, but, you said she has two kids by two different fathers? That speaks volumns to me. If she can't even stick out with her kids father, what makes you any different?
Don't let yourself be used. If you want to stay in contact with her, no one is going to stop you. But don't have sex. That's her power... If you take it away from her, she'll eventually get bored and leave... OR.. if she really does have feelings for you, the bond will strengthen. Who knows, maybe all the men in her life have treated her bad and this is her only way of acting around men.
Lucky you made a point I have failed to mention. This woman's past has been very bad. Her first child's father used to beat her up. She has told me that he put guns to her head and would tell her to never say anything about him selling drugs, she says she would have to bag drugs up and couldn't say no or he would beat her up. She has a samll ruptured vein in her beautiful legs where he kicked her once and said he also knocked a table down on her head. The next fatjher she found was also severely jealous and would control her ins and outs has slapped her and on occasions beat her up. She said he put her down and constantly told her no one would ever want her with 3 kids. I guess that was a challenge for her. Her dad had a chat with me about her a while back in which he says that she would never express her feelings and seemed when she was talked to it went in one ear and out the other. She got pregnant at 14 yrs old. She is 28. We went to a therapist and he told her that she is a person who needs to be loved and is something she wants at all cost that is the reason she is the way she is. She was molested by her bestfriends dad when she was a teen he fondled her and she ran out. But this woman can be destructive. Like she said she is happy being freen and no one will tell her when she can or can't go out.
Guys what is this ugly nasty feeling I feel in my chest every morning I wake up. It like tightens up. Like its teling me something is wrong. Withdrwals almost. Lol. It feels like depression and all out sadness. As soon as I wake up I think about her non stop. About why she doesn't call about who she might b with or doing. And this no contact suck and its just the second day.
Alex you should really consider professional help. This forum provides advice, support, and a reality slap but your issues may require a bit more personal examination. Think about it.
I have a counceling session next week. It just hurts to know this girl is an expert in making men fall in love with her. Just her tactics. She portrays her self to b kind nice and so sweet until her real self comes out. And to know this is the weekend she is kidless sucks. To think she will spend the night or the weekend with someone else. And also to know this Saturday I was supposed to go with her to a friends party that will be done big. Knowing she more than likely get wasted and all the guys she knows will be there. Uuuuugggghhhh. Remember she told me she had met someone she was talking to over the weekend but was nothing serious when we last spoke. 5 minutes laster she calls back laughing and being straight up evil. She said she told me that so I leave her alond due to the voicemail I sent her of a girl asking me to call her back. She said she wasn't talking or seeing someone else. But before she heard me sobbing and crying telling her how she could do that to me and asking y she lied in my face. It just sucks to remmember she once told me she used tactics to real me in like a fish. Such as using her mouth to pleasure me on severa, occasions which she can do all very well. And to think she is doing the same to same guy that more than likely will continue to come back for more. She's an expert at realing people in chewing them up and spitting them out.
We call that a succubus, you can't keep thinking about this stuff, it's going eat you alive. Join a gym, it's a great occupier of time
And you just keep going back for more!Quote:
She's an expert at reeling people in chewing them up and spitting them out.
I guess it comes down to how you want to be treated. Do you enjoy the feeling of being cheated on. Even though you've broken up with someone, you still feel that way. Do you enjoy knowing or thinking that she is with a different man every night?
It all comes down to what you want out of life. Do you think you deserve this type of treatment? Or do you think you deserve better? Are you the personality that clings to the person you date? Is every break up bad?
You need to do some heavy soul searching. You need to figure out if this is what you want out of life. Instead of crawling back to her like a beaten dog begging for a bone, move on with your life. Forget her. Her past boyfriends probably beat her up because she may have cheated on them. If she lived in the drug dealer world, then that is unexceptable and is punished by a fight. And quite honestly, her past gives her no excuse to treat people the way she does.
You're not going to save someone who doesn't want to be saved. I think that's what your aiming at... Get out now before one day you wake up and find yourself in a situation that is less than ideal.
Your right lucky. I thought strongly that she may change the way she is. But as cold as this woman is she told me bluntly that I nor anyone else would change the way she is. She told me point blank that she did not have a desire to change how she is and if I wanted to I had to accept it. She says she likes the way she is because that way she doesn't get hurt. I can't believe I continue to love someone like that. It's a weird feeling
I can't believe she doesn't even think about me or call or even txt if I'm OK or what. Man I would think the big tattoo she has on her lower back with a japanese symbol of love would remind her of me but I guess not. She got 2 tattos telling me she got them to prove to me she was in love with me. She got my full name on her lower back with a love symbol. And she got my middle name on her ankle. She never ever had a tatto in her life and these were the first. I gues. She was in love with me once upon a time.
Tattoos are on the outside.
Its what's inside that counts. Sounds cliché. Awwww..
Let her get another one about how you moved on & let her go and decide where to put it.
This girl was trouble from the get go.
Oooo... tattos with your name.
When she gets older she can look at them and remember just how much of a _____ she was.
You fill in the blank.
Lmao. The last time she did this crap she said that she had gone to a place where they can laser remove her tatoos. I just smiled and told her "well there will alway be a permanent memory of u getting it for me" "and likely a scar from them" she just smiled back and said well your right but even then I will get them removed for me not to have them. Honestly guys this crap is hard this woman was beautiful and had a beautiful smile that can light up a room. Lol. I'm still so much in love with her.
This line reminded me of a song I heard the other day.Quote:
Originally Posted by alex0830
It is directed at men, but I think the same can apply towards women like this:
"Once upon a time, there lived a boy, he would only play with real life toys, one hand here and one hand there, no attachments this man wears. A smile so sweet its hard to see that there's no fruit growing in his tree."
Her actions are anything but beautiful.
She may be seriously messed up by her childhood and past,in which case she may one day realise that she needs help.
You should detox yourself from your addiction to her.
Love doesn't equal pain and emotional abuse.
I have just finished reading this post and I totally agree with what has been said. Yes its hard and very possibly the most difficult thing you'll ever do but you need to let go and give yourself time to realise not all women are like her. All you're getting out of this is heatache. Is that what you want? The woman clearly has issues but you can't help someone who doesn't want your help. She's getting her kicks out of keeping you hanging while you get nothing except for occasional sex, on her terms, that in the end means nothing to her. Leave her alone, take some time to deal with your own problems and give yourself a chance to get over her, which you can't do whilst staying in contact with her, then you'll be able to find someone who loves and respects you for you and not just how good you are in the sack.
Omg. The job I do involves driving around like I told you earlier. Her house is on a subdivision I have to drive through often. Today I drover through and guess what. Her ex husbands truck is parked outside meaning he is inside with her. As I was driving back I see both of them walking out and her putting I guess one of their kids inside the truck and he saw me and got a little closer to her rear. So I stopped briefly a couple of houses down to do my job and I know she saw me and I guess both of them constantly looked my way more her. If you could just feel what I felt at that moment. Is like my heart was pounding so heart and the sadness rushed through my body. So I just drove off and didn't call or text her to argue like I would normally do. I feel so freaking sad and stressed. I guess she switched around and told him she only wanted some from him and no one else.
Great job not contacting her and just driving off! Shows you are moving past this better and better.Quote:
Originally Posted by alex0830
I guess so. But there's no way of taking thr pain away from what I went through although its uncertain if they were doing anything but if he was just picking her kids up then he would have stayed outside. No respect for her parents home. Like I said before she is 28 has 3 kids with 2 babby daddys and lives at home with her parents and on her sons is extremely autistic borderline retarded and she still acts this way. Shoot and the fact that I accepted her with all d baggage and stufff. I wish I can find me the one girl who really wants to be loved.
You will,but first you need to heal from this messy breakup.
And you will get over it,with time and patience and by regaining your selfrespect.
Keep up the no contact,that will work wonders.
HELP. I HAVE NOT CONTACTED MY EX SINCE MONDAY. READ ABOVE ALSO. SHE JUST TX ME THE FOLLOWING. "Look I need my pink shoes n I know u kept them. Can u just give them back... u can keep the ones u bought". Remember I said she just got her income tax about 10000 dollars for her 3 kids. She has also stated she has been buying herself a lot of clothes and has been treating herself. And the last time I was at her house she had new shoes and new red pumps. WHAT SHOULD I DO.
Nc
Gather all her possesions, and give her everything. I don't care what it is, or how you feel about it.
But I'm trying to stay NC.
Mail it?Quote:
Originally Posted by alex0830
She just text me again the following. "I know u got my msg.. just drop off the shoes at my door " what am I supposed to do. Honestly I call her bluff on her needing her old shoes back as much money as she got right no. I know she can buy some new and better shoes. I haven't responded. What should I do. It hurts a lot because I still love her. But I'm confused if she really wants her shoes since she says to leave them at her door or if she just wants to hear from me or see me.
Have a friend drop all her stuff off. Whatever, as long as you don't have contact.
Get her off your back once & for all.
Boy, she really wants those shoes bad, huh?
She doesn't want you! Or the shoes really. She wants to push your buttons, wear you down, make you miserable, and confused. By keeping her stuff, she has a reason to keep punking you out.
What besides shoes are you holding on too?? What else can she use as an excuse to dangle you by her strings??
Honestly, I thought you were smart enough to take her everything she could ask for during your last visit for returning her board games.
Your NC can start after you have purged yourself of everything that's her.
Or if you have the cojonies to ignore her, and keep your cool... Naw bad idea, that would take some BALL!!
GIVE HER ALL HER STUFF BACK!! What the freak are you going to do with her funky azz shoes??
Well I know it's a bunch of bull @#$! About her shoes. I just want to do it the right way where she feels stupid for doing the crap she did to me. I want her to suffer with me not responding to her and ignoring her but eventually I will have her come to my apt on my terms to pick her sh##$% up. I really didn't mean to keep her cheap stripper shoes. Lol. I moved to my new apt and they cam along in a bag. Funny thing is that I been there 2 months and all of a sudden she wants her shoes back. And demanding like she really needs them
Whatever stuff of hers you still have you either post to her or have a friend drop off.
Don't buy into her stupid mindgames.
That's what you get for getting w/ a girl like that.
How does it feel?
There's no revenge. Just you skating away as if she doesn't exist.
Ok guys its my fault and I'm so so hurt right now. She came over to pick her stupid shoes up saying the shoes were a perfect match with the outfit she's wearing for her friends party tomorrow. 80s theme. We made out a lot and she kept saying its not right its not right. I asked her if she was talking to someone and she finally said yes she was but it wasn't like that. I asked her if he was going with her she said she think so that she will take him to the party. So she left. I'm so torn its not even a month yet and she's doing this what a hore
>Harshness Warning<
That you would trade a pair of shoes for your balls, is exactly why your in this mess. Any self respecting male would have been long gone.
Put lipstick on a pig, its still a pig. While its not your fault for falling for this female, its your fault for staying and being ........................used, and abused.
Honestly how can someone be so freaking quik to move on like that. Man this is eating me up. You know I don't even know what to believe. Because she called a little after she left and I asked her if she had really met someone and she said "oh yea that's why I am home right now" so I was like if you did its OK I'm happy for u. So when she saw that I was OK she quickly changed it up to saying alex its none of your business if I did. So what I'm alos thinking because she mentioned the other girls voicemail oer and over saying that of course she was going to search because the voicemail got to her because she still loved me. But then she goes back into defensive mode
I would advice you to decide whether you're going to allow yourself to stay stuck in this toxic mess or if you are actually willing to try to move on and get your life back.
Where is your selfrespect?
She treated you like rubbish,she's still doing it and you are letting her.
NC and never speak to her again.
Period.
I know its only been 11 days dude, but you keep running head first into that brick wall and making yourself available for BS, that comes with her pushing your buttons, and you reacting. Until you accept its over, or at least act like you do, and stop this silly back and forth, and get you some business of your own, you will continue to appear quite pathetic, and keep being messed with.
Your problem sadly my friend, is you have not committed to NC, and gotten stuck in this emotional merry go round, that has only furthered your misery.
No Contact my friend, at all, and no more excuses either!!
This saga/drama would be a great 'sticky' for what NOT to do when you break up.
Well I continue to hurt myself knowing I shouldn't. I don't understand why I'm so weak. After a few days of no contact I asked her how she was doing and hello she said fine. So I asked her out she told me to pick her up for breakfast. So I do it. As I get there she asks me inside. So she shows me a pic of the party her and her so called new guy friend which she says its only a friend nothing like that. Dude is not even good looking. So after speking for a few minutes she goes back to the past of how we treated each other then to the voicemails of a friend of mine saying she knows there's someone else. So she start getting angry and kind of crying. So she pushes me out and tells me to leave. 15 minutes later she calls me and tells me if I can go back please. So I go and she asks me to lay down with her because she had just got off work. So I do and we end up having sex. I lay for a while and leave. She calls me a few hours later asking me if I was going to have lunch with her I told her no. So we talk and she ends up telling me that she missed my company and she really didn't want to have sex but it happened and she enjoyed it but she doesn't think she wanted to reconciliate. Then she goes on to tell me she has plans to Rodeo Houston for the next twoo weeks. So I hang up and she didn't cal back. She said she wasn't going with any guy. Whatever. I'm so tired of being weak minded.
You realise that you are doing this to yourself,don't you? I wish I could figure out why.
But its your life so you are going to have to do that yourself.
One day hopefully you'll wake up and smell the coffee.
I hope you managed to return the precious shoes.
.
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