Hi,
I don't have the whole picture. But I will tell you how I see it. I don't know how long you have been overweight, but I think that you feel inside that you are fat and unattractive and he does not find you sexually attractive because of his overweight comments to you. In turn you don't want to make him angry at you for saying that he doesn't do it for you in the sack. He is a control freak by the sound of it. You saying you can't dump him, makes me think that you believe every word that he says to you, in turn you don't think you deserve better.

Well that is part of the brain washing of making you feel like your fat and unattractive, playing mind games with you, making you feel that you have done something wrong. Does that sound familiar? Believe me darling you CAN do Better, YOU deserve better. You need to like and love yourself all over again. Cos yourself esteem has hit rock bottom. I know what I am talking about, been there myself. So only you can wake up and smell the coffee, you and only you can make your decisions.

Good Luck with whatever you decide to do. TAKE CARE!:)

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posted by ukfunnygirl Hi,
I don't have the whole picture. But I will tell you how I see it. I don't know how long you have been overweight, but I think that you feel inside that you are fat and unattractive and he does not find you sexually attractive because of his overweight comments to you. In turn you don't want to make him angry at you for saying that he doesn't do it for you in the sack. He is a control freak by the sound of it. You saying you can't dump him, makes me think that you believe every word that he says to you, in turn you don't think you deserve better.

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I have been overweight for 3 months now , and yes I feel from the inside unattractive and sexually also .

[QUOTE] by uk funnygirl )Well that is part of the brain washing of making you feel like your fat and unattractive, playing mind games with you, making you feel that you have done something wrong. Does that sound familiar? Believe me darling you CAN do Better, YOU deserve better. You need to like and love yourself all over again. Cos yourself esteem has hit rock bottom. I know what I am talking about, been there myself. So only you can wake up and smell the coffee, you and only you can make your decisions.

I don't think he really means what he is saying cause today I asked him about he telling me that am fat and all that and he was like you know that I don't mean the things that I said and why are you taking things that I say so seriously...
And defanitly I did hit the rock bttom about myself esteem trust me I did and still.

[QUOTE=basii;1691314]I have been overweight for 3 months now , and yes I feel from the inside unattractive and sexually also .

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by uk funnygirl )Well that is part of the brain washing of making you feel like your fat and unattractive, playing mind games with you, making you feel that you have done something wrong. Does that sound familiar? Believe me darling you CAN do Better, YOU deserve better. You need to like and love yourself all over again. Cos yourself esteem has hit rock bottom. I know what I am talking about, been there myself. So only you can wake up and smell the coffee, you and only you can make your decisions.

I don't think he really means what he is saying cause today I asked him about he telling me that am fat and all that and he was like you know that I don't mean the things that I said and why are you taking things that I say so seriously...
And defanitly I did hit the rock bttom about myself esteem trust me I did and still.

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Basil I think you love this guy too much and everything is about him. i.e Looking good for him? Making excuses for him, like he has poor communication skill? Stop doing that and think about you. I am sorry that you think you need him to define yourself as a woman, cause the truth of the matter is that you don't.
I don't know this guy but I am already disliking him for the psycological games that he is playing on you. You are somewhat of a liberal thinker. I don't know if the woman's movement has moved through Saudi Arabia yet:eek: . Do they treat women like second class citizens their where their really under-appreciated and not respected to an extent.

Basil if you have the chance to leave that country LEAVE you'll be surprise how happy you may be away from that place and its possible that he is jealous and trying to push you away out of fear that your going to leave him and if that's the case he is still being very insensitive cause he could do it in a better way.

You got your whole future ahead of you, leave this guy and focus on you. Are their any help groups in saudi arabia that you can attend or any counsellors that you can speak to about how you are feeling. You mentioned that you had a substance abuse problem, it seems like you left one addiction and found a new one, aka your current boyfriend. Are their any substance abuse help center/programs in Saudi Arabia?

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(by lighterrr)
You are somewhat of a liberal thinker. I don't know if the woman's movement has moved through Saudi Arabia yet:eek: .

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Do they treat women like second class citizens their where their really under-appreciated and not respected to an extent.

What do you mean by liberal thinker I don't understand that part ?and the woman's movement ? And second class citizen ? Please make it clear for me...

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(by lighterrr) Are their any help groups in saudi arabia that you can attend or any counsellors that you can speak to about how you are feeling.

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Are you kidding me no they don't the only thing that they have here are shopping malls like in every corner and restaurants , and even if they did they are soooo going to tell my family and it will be no secret no more .

[QUOTE](by lighterr).You mentioned that you had a substance abuse problem, it seems like you left
One addiction and found a new one, aka your current boyfriend. Are their any substance abuse help center/programs in Saudi Arabia?

They don't and even if they did they will take me to jail and then question me about how did I get it and from who and where and all that and I will end up in jail... :confused:
People here in this country are sooo sick minded they need help and drugs in this country is sooooooooooo easy to get and if you are a girl they will give it to you for free...

Hi Basil!

Like I said earlier, I don't know the full picture, but what I have said to you, I have hit the nail on the head. If he didn't mean to say those things to you and your taking it too seriously, PLEASE SMELL THE COFFEE, another way of making you feel in the wrong, that your over reacting. The truth is, HE has low self-esteem, get his kicks of putting you down, makes him feel in control, he knows that your weak spot is your weight. He won't change, it will only get worse as the years go by. Then you will look back wondering why you put up with such a jerk, why you believed every word. HE Won't CHANGE. But you can.

To put down the woman he loves is not love, its being a control freak, he's spiteful. And nasty. Think long and hard when were you truly happy with him? Are you happy now? Do you want to spend the rest of your life with him? If the answer is NO, then move on now. Kick him out or move to your parents. Don't make excuses for him, you either put up with it and stop moaning about it or you be brave and strong think of what you want out of life and move on with your life. You can do it, its not hard honestly. You need to believe in yourself, have confidence to do it.

Best of luck :)

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Originally Posted by basii

i never got an orgasim with my boyfriend although we have great sex and am tired of faking it , cause if i told him he will get really pssed at me , and he always tells me that i need to loose weight, i dont know wat to do .

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Believe me, sex will be much better in a relationship where the man loves your body just the way it is. Time to dump this guy and find out how good sex can be. To avoid a repeat, don't fake an orgasm with the next guy.

I will make sure that I will not an orgasm anymore even with him and I wll tell him that I didn't get an orgasm and I want to see how is he going to react and I will sit down and talk to him and I will see if it works out and if it didn't then that is it...

[QUOTE=basii;1691362]Do they treat women like second class citizens their where their really under-appreciated and not respected to an extent.

What do you mean by liberal thinker I don't understand that part ?and the woman's movement ? And second class citizen ? Please make it clear for me...




Are you kidding me no they don't the only thing that they have here are shopping malls like in every corner and restaurants , and even if they did they are soooo going to tell my family and it will be no secret no more .

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(by lighterr).You mentioned that you had a substance abuse problem, it seems like you left
One addiction and found a new one, aka your current boyfriend. Are their any substance abuse help center/programs in Saudi Arabia?

They don't and even if they did they will take me to jail and then question me about how did I get it and from who and where and all that and I will end up in jail... :confused:
People here in this country are sooo sick minded they need help and drugs in this country is sooooooooooo easy to get and if you are a girl they will give it to you for free...

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Woww. Just like I thought, when I said liberal thinker I mean you have a free mind. Where you think freely and somewhat out side of the box, because you question your boyfriends treatment towards you. Now to sum up the woman's movement it's just like woman having the same rights as men, i.e. to vote. I am not even sure if thye have elections in Sudi Arabia?
So you are stuck in a country where you cannot get any help, hmm that sucks. Look the bottom line is this leave this guy alone and work on your own internal well being and health.

What have you done in the past to feel better about yourself.

No woman's have no rites at all and we here in saudia arabia they don't have elections .
Well sometimes I don't think its my boyfriend that is the problem its just the environment because like seriously we are in saudia arabia man for gods sack . Am sure he is affected by the people around him or the somuch tenssion in the air . Don't know but I will try and give him one more chance and I will see what's going to happen this time...
Ps . Thanks for clearing stuff for me and yes am defanitly a free minded person like people in this country think that am like crazy or I don't have no relagion cause of the way I think dress and talk and when they see me somking they can't stop staring god as if they never saw a girl smoke before , and what funny is that smoking for men is allowd and not allowed for woman . Looool I found that so funny...

What have I done in the past that makes me feel better about myself ?

I really don't remmber like really , and that is such a good question .
And omg I don't have an answer for that question am soooo shocked

Basil you will find that if you come to a country where woman have a voice you may feel more @ home and people won't look at you like some crazy lunatic. Look I've been to a country where women have no rights in west africa and I'm a canadian so I can compare and contrast the two worlds. The good part is that my fiancée is from west africa but he lived in Canada for like 10 years, so he is well versed in woman's rights. To make a long story short when I am in africa he is like the only person that understands me everybody else does not. Unfortunately for you it's the opposite. But what I can advice you to do is to get out of their and take the opportunity to go to school abroad. This world has so much more to offer to you, so take the chance and go get it.

First of all he's an for telling you that you need to lose weight! No woman feels sexy when they hear that from their partner. If you do need to lose weight I'm sure your aware of it! Have you tried bringing any spice to the bedroom like toys and stuff? Any keep in mind a good lover isn't a selfish one, if he really wants to please you he will understand and not get mad, he will do whatever it takes to get you off ;)

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Originally Posted by KERMC

First of all he's an for telling you that you need to lose weight! No woman feels sexy when they hear that from their partner. If you do need to lose weight I'm sure your aware of it! Have you tried bringing any spice to the bedroom like toys and stuff? any keep in mind a good lover isn't a selfish one, if he really wants to please you he will understand and not get mad, he will do whatever it takes to get you off ;)

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Toys in saudi arabia:eek::eek:

[QUOTE]

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{kermc}First of all he's an for telling you that you need to lose weight! No woman feels sexy when they hear that from their partner. If you do need to lose weight I'm sure your aware of it!

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And that for sure I really don't feel sexy no more and espaically around him , and yes I did gain weight and trust me am working on it and I actually lost like 3 kg in like 1 week . (chemical diet only drink no food ) anyway he always tells me if you loose weight and exercise omg you will look soooo sexy and I was thinking what do you mean by that , that am not SEXY NOW... but he such a sweetheart but he has these negative things that really makes him so ugly and he doesn't know that hurts my feelings and when I tell him , he tells me why are you so sensitve and why do you take all my words and missunderstand me am like that is how you say it and never tell a girl in genral that she is fat and needs to loose weight .

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Originally Posted by lighterrr

toys in saudi arabia:eek::eek:

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Omg that is soooooooooooooo funny like really am laughing so hard I think I peed a little .
That is so true if they find sex toys your going to jaill for a long time sista.

[QUOTE=basii;1691752]

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And that for sure I really don't feel sexy no more and espaically around him , and yes I did gain weight and trust me am working on it and I actually lost like 3 kg in like 1 week . (chemical diet only drink no food ) anyway he always tells me if you loose weight and exercise omg you will look soooo sexy and I was thinking what do you mean by that , that am not SEXY NOW... but he such a sweetheart but he has these negative things that really makes him so ugly and he doesn't know that hurts my feelings and when I tell him , he tells me why are you so sensitve and why do you take all my words and missunderstand me am like that is how you say it and never tell a girl in genral that she is fat and needs to loose weight .

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That is really harsh that he says those things to you. You should say something like that to him and see how he feels! When he tells you how sexy you would be if you lost weight you should tell him how sexy he would be if he would just learn to get you off! Actually no, don't stoop th that level. It's really a no brainer, he should know that the things he says are hurtful and words can hurt sooo much! Just don't let him take yourself esteem from you, and when you do lose the weight that YOU want, make sure that it's for YOU and not for him.
Ciao bella!

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Originally Posted by basii

omg that is soooooooooooooo funny like really am laughing so hard i think i peed a littel .
that is soo true if they find sex toys your going to jaill for a long time sista.

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LOL! I just noticed that you were from saudi! Nice advice I give, I just get you thrown in Jail!

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Originally Posted by KERMC

LOL!! I just noticed that you were from saudi! Nice advice I give, I just get you thrown in Jail!

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You got that right, BASIL LEAVE THE COUNTRY:) get out while you still can lol;)

Am not saudi am from sudan (africa)
But was raised and born in saudii

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Originally Posted by basii

am not saudi am from sudan (africa)
but was raised and born in saudii

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You can see exactly what's wrong with Sharia Law and any place where Radical Muslims impose it on people against their will. They are only marginally better than Talliban lunatics.

Personally the answer is simple. If you have a chance to go to a University OUTSIDE a nation run by radical Muslims... take it. Get a good degree and many doors will open to you in far more accommodating countries. You don't need him or his stories. There are plenty of men out that that would have far more to offer to you than he will.

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Originally Posted by standee

how long should a man last normally in bed?

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You should start your own thread so it gets a better response.

HI AGAIN...
I think you're kidding yourself if you think he doesn't know what he says hurts you. Everybody is giving you advice, but you seem to be in denial, stop making excuses for that pratt, move to a different country and meet someone else. Get to know yourself first.

Aw you poor thing, get rid of that guy and find someone respectful of you and your body! Then the fun will happen!

Thanks , but I have been honst with him lately and we communicate and really he did change and OMG I fainally had an orgasm not once or twice I had it three times OMG it was so amazing , and now we alk and communicate and spend more time together . And its not only about sex now and he like my body but am still working on lossing weight .

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Originally Posted by basii

thanx , but i have been honst with him lately and we communicate and really he did change and OMG i fainally had an orgasim not once or twice i had it three times OMG it was so amazing , and now we alk and communicate and spend more time together . and its not only about sex now and he like my body but am still working on lossing weight .

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Good luck basil I am also trying to loose weight:mad: not going so well for me though

For me to loose weight I take pills that makes feel full and I exersice .

And how can I catch him lying and how can I let him addmitt it .

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Originally Posted by basii

and how can i catch him lying and how can i let him addmitt it .

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I thought you guys said you were communicating and now you think he's lying? This is getting confusing.

Yes we are but I know that he is lying , and he doesn't want to addmit it at all .
And trust me is wayyyy to confusing for me too.

OK we are really good togther but , before I made one of my friends to call him and talk to him and he doesn't know that she is my friend anyway this was from a long time , and after we are really good with each other , my friend calls me and she tells " your boyfriend called me and he wants to see me " I was like WHATTTT and know I can't catch him lying and he doesn't want admiit it at alllll .
What should I do ?

Well, trust is a necessity as well as honesty. If he won't admit something and you know for a fact he is lying, the lies can just become more and more... I'd leave him

You can't call it great sex if you don't have an orgasm.. don't fake it.. try telling him that, so you can figure out a way or try changing things up.. orgasms are important part of having sex..

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Originally Posted by basii

thanks , but I have been honst with him lately and we communicate and really he did change and OMG I fainally had an orgasm not once or twice I had it three times OMG it was so amazing , and now we alk and communicate and spend more time together . And its not only about sex now and he like my body but am still working on lossing weight .

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That is not the problem now... ( although it takes me a long time and a lot of energy )
And sometimes I get dissapointed cause after all the effort that I do I get the orgasm but for only maximam 3 sec... :mad::(:eek::confused:

I have just read this post and your previous post about relationships and in my opinion you are in a very toxic relationship. Now I know you live in a place where us women have no rights and are seen as a lower class citizen, you have the oppurnity to continue your education in a country that is not ruled the same as the one you are in now. Your Boyfriend (if you can really call him that) seems to just want you for the sex. And you got a friend to call him and talk to him and that resulted in him asking her to go over to see him. That is not a good thing. He very well could just be using you for the sex and cheating on you also. No matter how much you try you can't stop someone from lying. And it is pretty much impossible to force someone to tell you something they don't want to say. He also seems to be quite insulting, rudely commenting on your weight. I think that maybe time away from him with no communication between you two might be the best bet. Then you can sit, relfect on yourself and determine which would give you the better life. In my opinion taking the oppurnity to go to a good univrsity or college in a different country would be the best bet. I am sure once you got there and realized how much of a culture difference there is you will really like it. He may be the first love of your life but think about this. What if your true love is possibly in a different country then the one your in. Also... you would not have to worry about being thrown in jail for seeing the guy you want to see. (or woman as in the us they are not as biased about that. Though some are against it. Personal opinions in my opinion lol) You would experience something you would never experience in the country you are in, Free Speech and the right to do as you please (as long as it doesn't break laws) There are no clothing requirements and you would never run the risk of being stoned in the street

(I do hope I spelt everything right as I don't have the downloadable spell checker on here)

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Originally Posted by basii

OK we are really good togther but , before I made one of my friends to call him and talk to him and he doesn't know that she is my friend anyway this was from a long time , and after we are really good with each other , my friend calls me and she tells " your boyfriend called me and he wants to see me " I was like WHATTTT and know I can't catch him lying and he doesn't want admiit it at alllll .
What should I do ?

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How can I catch him lying to me cause I know he is cause she is my friend and she tells me what going on and exactly what he is telling me when I call him and she is with him on the other line.. :confused::mad:

Basil... it sounds exactly like you only see what you want to see with him. It can't be all that great based on what you have told us so far. I know I wouldn't consider it great if it was me.

Just because you are used to something doesn't mean it's a healthy or good thing.

If you don't trust or bleieve the person you are with, or aren't able to because they lie or are deceptive then you are not in a good situation.

OK I actually tried to breakup , and I didbreakup with him for like a day and omg I couldn't stand being away from him .
And it really hurt like really I actually went to the hospital to get my blood pressure rite .

This is something I would consider an extremely unhealthy relationship. It's doing nothing but hurting you and being with someone is not supposed to hurt you like this.

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Originally Posted by basii

ok i actually tried to breakup , and i didbreakup with him for like a day and omg i couldnt stand being away from him .
and it really hurt like really i actually went to the hospital to get my blood pressure rite .

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Breakups are rarely easy... and the longer you are together the harder it is. Its rare you have something happen that's so bad its easy to walk away without this happening. And that is from my own personal experience. I've never left a relationship without it being painful