Ask Me Help Desk - Husband wants to have anal sex

Quote:

Originally Posted by smoothy

If there was damage, someone wasn't doing it right. Your average poop is no smaller than your average guy is.

But both parties do have to be willing and open to even try. Otherwise the reaction is to clamp down rather than relax. And you can't enjoy it unless you relax. And no you can NEVER force it. The first time or two is going to be uncomfortable. I doubt you liked that first cup of coffee you ever tried. Or that first drink of Booze.

Poop exits. Penii enter. And exit, and enter again... I really think that the act of defecation is different than sexual intercourse. My point is that for some, it's never going to be anything but an -ripping, bad time, and those people should be excused from the act. Also, X seems to believe that as a man, he should be exempt from penetration... I don't believe this is the case.

I don't want to quarrel on the O.P.'s thread, nor derail it... however, I will take further comments through p.m.

Oops... censored. I attempted to write a-s-$ ripping.

Hi guys and Girls,

Ceci is long gone and you are still going back in forth, she may bedoing it or she got the idea that she will not do it, no repond from her from Dec-16th-2008 and today is Feb-24-2009, Thanks.

Quote:

Originally Posted by afaroo

Hi guys and Girls,

Ceci is long gone and you are still going back in forth, she may bedoing it or she got the idea that she will not do it, no repond from her from Dec-16th-2008 and today is Feb-24-2009, Thanks.

That's only 2 months. People do sometimes come back after 2 months, believe it or not.

If the thread had been two YEARS old, I would have closed it already.

Believe it or not, I do take moderating seriously.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ren6

Poop exits. Penii enter. And exit, and enter again...I really think that the act of defecation is different than sexual intercourse. My point is that for some, it's never going to be anything but an -ripping, bad time, and those people should be excused from the act. Also, X seems to believe that as a man, he should be exempt from penetration...I don't believe this is the case.

I don't want to quarrel on the O.P.'s thread, nor derail it...however, I will take further comments through p.m.

A door is a door... this isn't Alice in Wonderland... its as big going through one side as it is going through the other.

The act may be different... but there is a LOT of nerve endings at the Anus that can provide large ammounts of pleasure.

Just because YOU refuse to do it, don't want to for whatever your personal reasons might be doesn't mean most people won't get a lot of pleasure out of it... women as far as the men. Hey its your butt, YOU are losing a chance at a lot of pleasure as well as any guy you will date. (I'm assuming you are female, pardon if you aren't).

And there are a large number of people on this forum who will argue its anything BUT a ***ripping. It's that though process that's preventing you from enjoying it. Sexual Repressions deprive a lot of people enjoyment they would otherwise experience.

Speaking of poop, what if it makes an appearance? Then what? You know, poop happens

Quote:

Originally Posted by Survivor07

Speaking of poop, what if it makes an appearance? Then what? You know, poop happens

Lol...

If it happens then it will just have to be dealt with. After all, it really wants to be done.

So it has to be dealt with in every aspect.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Survivor07

Speaking of poop, what if it makes an appearance? Then what? You know, poop happens

That's why I recommend doing it from 1 hour to 2 hours AFTER you take a poop. The garage is empty and you can park your Suburban in it easily then.

And if there is a tiny bit of poop? Big deal, changing a babies diaper is far worse.

Really Smoothy? I thought men hated diapers. So, in general, do all men enjoy the backdoor?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Survivor07

Really Smoothy? I thought men hated diapers. So, in general, do all men enjoy the backdoor?

I don't know if all men enjoy the "back door" as you put it, but I think most do. I know a few guys who want know part of it. Reading some of the post on this thread I have to agree that for me it does not take the place of vaginal sex but it is a nice change every once in a while. Some women like it some don't. My wife not a big fan but she has had a few pleasurable times with me. Not just something she wants all the time and I respect that. Bottom line its on her terms only.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DSM521

I don't know if all men enjoy the "back door" as you put it, but I think most do. I know a few guys who want know part of it. Reading some of the post on this thread I have to agree that for me it does not take the place of vaginal sex but it is a nice change every once in a while. Some women like it some don't. My wife not a big fan but she has had a few pleasurable times with me. Not just something she wants all the time and I respect that. Bottom line its on her terms only.

Exactly... not something you do all the time... it's just a thrill!

And enjoyable with someone you love and you do it right together.

Anal sex can be enjoyable once the fear is gone. I introduce anal sex to my fiancé and believe it or not is was nervous on the first go but after that he got over it. We only engage in this sexual act from time to time but like some mention you have to relax because otherwise your muscles will tighten and this makes it hard for your partner to enter and make sure that area is clean. Anal beans must help you too and gradually get you pump for your husband to enter you.

Thank you DSM and SouthernGal. Having experienced this already with my ex-husband, I know what to expect. I'm in a really nice relationship now. The best since the divorce. We're coming up on a year now. So... his birthday is next week and I was just thinking... ; ) Just a little nervous.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Survivor07

Thank you DSM and SouthernGal. Having experienced this already with my ex-husband, I know what to expect. I'm in a really nice relationship now. The best since the divorce. We're coming up on a year now. So.......his birthday is next week and I was just thinking.......... ; ) Just a little nervous.

Well I have to say I think he is going to have a great birthday. I think it is such a turn on when the woman asks for it. I always feel bad bringing it up because I don't want my wife to feel bad for saying no.

Good luck, have fun and relax. You know you guys can have a lot of fun doing stuff to get you ready. The foreplay sex, touching caressing all beforehand just makes the whole night a mind blowing experience. :D

So, DSM, this would be an acceptable b-day surprise for you? I wonder if there's a Hallmark to accompany it.

I'm relieved you think it would be a turn-on. I just don't know his thoughts on it. Yeah, I know. Ask him.

I did once ask him what his likes are in the bedroom; he said everything. Yeah, a little too general of an answer for me. He was so eager to please when we began having sex that I interpreted that to mean "I'll do anything you want me to"!

(He's over 40 and I'm his first long-term girlfriend since his divorce five years ago)

Anyway, I told him that I like being touched there during vaginal sex and he has been "caressing" that area very thoroughly ever since. His latest move is he has inserted his finger while we're having sex and I assured him I liked that, too.

I think he wants to, just afraid to ask.

I over analyze. Thank you

Quote:

Originally Posted by Survivor07

Really Smoothy? I thought men hated diapers. So, in general, do all men enjoy the backdoor?

most people hate changing babies diapers. But it goes with the turf. Unless you can afford a live in nanny.

As far as the backdoor goes... if your wife or girlfield is playing around with a well manicured finger while she's giving you head it can take a great BJ right up to mindblowing levels. But then, I have few sexual repressions as a hetero guy. That's not true for a lot of guys.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Survivor07

So, DSM, this would be an acceptable b-day surprise for you? I wonder if there's a Hallmark to accompany it.

I'm relieved you think it would be a turn-on. I just don't know his thoughts on it. Yeah, I know. Ask him.

I did once ask him what his likes are in the bedroom; he said everything. Yeah, a little too general of an answer for me. He was so eager to please when we began having sex that I interpreted that to mean "I'll do anything you want me to"!

(He's over 40 and I'm his first long-term girlfriend since his divorce five years ago)

Anyway, I told him that I like being touched there during vaginal sex and he has been "caressing" that area very thoroughly ever since. His latest move is he has inserted his finger while we're having sex and I assured him I liked that, too.

I think he wants to, just afraid to ask.

I over analyze. Thank you

Ya I think your giving him a great present. As far as the Hallmark card well... that could be so wrong.

If he has no problem touching you down there when you are having sex then I am sure he will be okay with it.

As far as how to bring it up, I can see were that would be awkward. Here's an idea, when you guys are making love and you both are really into it touch his face, pull him toward you and give him a long passionate kiss, start kissing his neck and then whisper in his ear what you want. What you whisper is up to you, But I am sure you can think of something sexy.

Just have fun with it.

It is all up to the guy, most guys just rammed it in there! I start by giving my wife a good massage. When she is nice and relaxed we kiss for a while and then have normal intercourse for a little while. When we are ready we use real heavy lube and then I slowly put a little pressure with the head of my penis. Not all at once, a little pressure than release than a little pressure and release. Doing this makes her muscle relax and slowly open up. Our first time trying anal together I did this and she said it didn't hurt at all. I am about 7" so I am not huge but not small either and even so this technique seems to work really well. My wife was scared at first but now she loves it and says it feels great. Tell your partner to be gentle and nothing is to be done all at once!!

Well, there's a lot of good advice already, but one more thing: try a silicone-based lube. They tend not to dry out like water-based ones and are nice and slippery. Just sort of ease into it, lots of foreplay, stimulation of the area around the opening, relax and take him in sloooowly. Get him to let you lead.
Incidentally, it's useful to practice on yourself with a dildo, just to get used to the feeling and learn to relax your muscles.

Quote:

Originally Posted by krzekali89

Using a lube, start with a finger, then a bigger finger then a bigger finger. Keep tring thefinger maybe for a week or two, until ou dont feel pain then have him use lube, and start with hiss head then a little more and a little more. until you don't feel the pain. Its a long process but take it slow becuz he if do rush and you make him pull out to fast...you could end up really hurt.

im sorry if this was to graphic...i'm just trying to help.

good luck.

I think trying to put it in half hard would be like trying to put toothpaste back in the tube lol

Quote:

Originally Posted by brad platt

i think trying to put it in half hard would be like tryin to put toothpaste back in the tube lol

Who said anything about half-hard? I think the post meant half-way.

Oh, by the way, in case you're feeling like everyone out there who's any good in bed does this... even Jenna Jameson said in an interview she's only done anal a few times, with 3 guys (not at the same time), and she was in love and in a relationship with them at the time. Not even porn stars are comfortable or experienced with doing everything I guess.

Quote:

Originally Posted by KeepItSimpleStupid

Might not be appropriate, but you can tell him the following joke.

A man broke into the bedroom of a couple and the man whispered something in the wife's ear. The husband says, "Do whatever he asks" so we don't get hurt. The wife says to the husband "He wants you".

That's is really funny:D

Very funny

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clough

Hi, cece21!

Sure, you can try to ease into such a thing.

However, the bottom line to me would be that those places on the body aren't designed to be joined in that way. Even if you try to ease into it, it might not work.

If you're still uncomfortable even after trying a number of times, then I would like to assume that your husband will be understanding and loving in that regard as to your needs.

Thanks!

I TOTALLY AGREE, maybe ask him if you can do anal sex on him.