Ask Me Help Desk - Boyfriend viewing Porn

I say confront him hun its not normal for a straight guy looking at gay men normally there discusted by it confront him

Most "straight" guys don't look at homosexual porn- true. If he is questioning his sexuality, although it may hurt, you have to be supportive of his decision. If he is indeed a gay/bisexual, the last thing you want to do is be hasty about this, as this may shove him right back into the closet.

l'm a guy... and l think he's just really horny... try dress up to satisfy him

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Originally Posted by SereneAegis

I found links on my boyfriend's computer today. He watches porn a LOT and wants sex a LOT.

He really likes anal sex and loves watching anal sex videos.

But I found something else now. There was a clip of gay (guy on guy) porn and several clips of a guy having sex with a transvestite up his/her butt.

What does it mean when a guy like that type of porn, or if a guy watches that type of porn?

I'm worried he may be bisexual or gay and isn't telling me about it. I've asked him about this before and he has said no. Should I confront him with the things I found then?

I don't want to be lied to anymore.

Hey I agree with most of these fellas in this section... porn watching is normal for guys. What isn't normal is watching guy on guy porn or transvestite porn. THAT ISN'T NORMAL FOR A STRAIGHT GUY PERIOD! If he's watching that kind of stuff or it is SAVED on the computer (key word being SAVED on the computer) then he either is interested in it and gets off on it (let's be honest, that's why we watch porn) or he's tried it and liked it but is embarrassed about it. (note: make sure he has more than one video or clip on the computer before you jump the gun. He could have downloaded a clip by accident from the net... happens all the time)

<--- A MAN

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SereneAegis I found links on my boyfriend's computer today. He watches porn a LOT and wants sex a LOT.

Typical 20 something guy stuff.

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He really likes anal sex and loves watching anal sex videos.

Typical 20 something guy stuff

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But I found something else now. There was a clip of gay (guy on guy) porn and several clips of a guy having sex with a transvestite up his/her butt.

There is all kinds of porn out there, and this is one of many things to look at, Found any bestiality, or golden showers porn???

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What does it mean when a guy like that type of porn, or if a guy watches that type of porn?

From what you've said he watches a lot of porn and wants to have a lot of sex...........with you, I presume.

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I'm worried he may be bisexual or gay and isn't telling me about it. I've asked him about this before and he has said no. Should I confront him with the things I found then?

I think this is more your fear than a fact, as you have nothing but the porn to which sounds like curiosity, more than some emerging sexuality.

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I don't want to be lied to anymore.

And what are the lies he is telling???? He said he didn't know why he was watching gay porn, that may be true. If he lies about watching thats normal when one is confronted in an accusatory way like a kid caught by his mother. Instead of confrontation and disgust, which is more about you and your attitude, than him and what he is doing, how about approaching him like a grown adult, with respect and curiosity and see what he says. You confront a cheater, you engage your partner, so he can open up instead of hiding, or lying.
We can all assume all sorts of things, and have many demons fueling our fears, but if the two of you who love and care openly, and honestly talk, and listen, you would learn more about each other, and you wouldn't have to ask strangers if your b/f, who you see everyday, is gay or not. Porn and sexuality are but symptoms of the real problem between you, which is a lack of honest dialog

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Originally Posted by smoothy

Well, she has the right to her opinion, but if she wants to make the most of their relationship maybe she needs to change her viewpoints to something a tad less prudish. She can watch it with him...and maybe find something new she likes. Hopefully she won't be like some ex-girlfriends who tended to be a bit prudish and say, no to this, no to that, no to the other thing....and ended up being dull because everything had to be a certain way all the time. Which gets boring as hell in a few months much less years.

Thank god my wife isn't as closed minded as some of then were. Now before you misunderstand me, my wife is very conservative in her manner publicly but when we are together then there are really few rules. And that makes for a healthy relationship. My wife was once staunchly anti-porn. Till she found out it can help to improve our , well you know....by letting her discover new things SHE would like to try so it wasn't always what I wanted to try.

Like the old saying goes...."don't knock it till you've tried it."

DO NOT LISTEN TO THIS USER! You know how people are always saying "you can't change a man" "If you want to change him find someone else" Well do that. Keep your opinion and stick with it. If you don't like him doing it let him know. Don't watch it with him and lower you morals. There's no need for that. Stick up for what you believe in and be a strong women that knows what she wants.

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Originally Posted by honey2700

DO NOT LISTEN TO THIS USER! you know how people are always saying "you can't change a man" "If you want to change him find someone else" Well do that. Keep your opinion and stick with it. If you don't like him doing it let him know. Dont watch it with him and lower you morals. Theres no need for that. Stick up for what you belive in and be a strong women that knows what she wants.

You have the right to say that if you wish... personally I don't care if you do. But most of the women I have known in my life before I married that thought that way have all been either real boring in bed... (I feel sorry for whoever married them) or married a "bad boy" who though they could change them and have been either since then divorced or stay in a miserable marriage when they find out people don't change.

Thank you to everyone who tried to help. I've found a solution to the problem and it's something I am happy with. =D Thanks to everyone who responded to help me!

Comment on alkaline's post

Great answer

Watch porn together and make sex more exciting to him. Don't do something you don't want to do but instead want to do something you never would before. He's mind races with thoughts of sex. Sex is Sex and when he runs across gay stuff online when he is hot in his moment, he might be more open to more at that time. Does it mean he is destined to date men and have sex with men? no. You already know that but are scared that you might lose him. This is probably not the case. Make you what he wants. As he gets older, he'll want nothing else but you. Give him time and don't be harsh when you approach him.