If he was trying to hide something, he could have just thrown the card away and said nothing. I think he wants honestly to talk about it with you, so talk to him without judgement, and if this is something you cannot deal with, be honest about that too.

I understand how this can make you feel... Im currently trying to understand a similar situation of my own... Apparently if he had a relationship with this guy he is at minimum bisexual... bi is tricky though because almost 100% of the time a bisexual individual tends to lean more toward guys or girls.. ask him what he enjoys most about the different sexes... hopefully he will be open and honest... try not to be judgemental and allow for him to feel comfortable talking with you about this touchy subject!

The bottom line is, you need to have an open line of communication in order for you to put things in perspective.

Well... I confronted him. It was not under the best circumstances. I was drinking and he was DRUNK. I told him I was not judgmental about what ever kind of relationship that he had but I felt like if this is what he wanted then I certainly cannot compete an I felt like I was in a lose lose situation.

He was dumbfounded and called me crazy. He said he was not gay and that this guy was his roommate and nothing more. He called me crazy and went to bed. Since then he has told me that this guy is in love with him and he does not share the same feelings…

I need to break up with him I know. I will

Oh bella! I am so sorry this happened in this way. I wish you had done this when you both were sober and could have a rational discussion about it. It may very well be that your boyfriend has no feelings for this guy anymore.

I guess it comes down to what I said earlier. It does sound like you are having trouble handling this aspect of his past. Do you have the strength in you to work on your relationship and see if you both can move past this? You need to ask yourself this question.

If you want to try to make this work, it might be wise to seek counseling and have an objective experienced professional help you think this through.

Ruby,
Wanted to say I completely agree... couldn't rate you as I have to spread the old rep first. This was a painful way for both Bella and boyfriend. Truly hope you can open better forms of communication.
Cathy

Quote:

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Originally Posted by RubyPitbull

oh bella! I am so sorry this happened in this way. I wish you had done this when you both were sober and could have a rational discussion about it. It may very well be that your boyfriend has no feelings for this guy anymore.

I guess it comes down to what I said earlier. It does sound like you are having trouble handling this aspect of his past. Do you have the strength in you to work on your relationship and see if you both can move past this? You need to ask yourself this question.

If you want to try to make this work, it might be wise to seek counseling and have an objective experienced professional help you think this through.

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Thank you so much for your advice! I really do appreciate you!

I don’t know much about this site… Are you a mental heath professional?

We are all volunteers here. Some members will stick to the forums that deal directly with their current professions. I do have some background in psychology, but that is not my vocation at the moment.

I am sorry that you are in such turmoil at the moment, but glad we could offer you some constructive help. Please keep us posted on how you are doing. :)