Thank you... I don't think this is about me at all... fact is I want to understand him and fact is I love him and will be patient and grasp what he is going threw..

That's good, then don't trip because he got his own vibrator(?), but may be too ashamed to be honest about it. No I don't believe he "borrowed it". LOL, sometimes guys lie to avoid a hassle, or conflict, or a bad reaction, or having to explain to a partner.

Stay cool as more will be revealed later.

I think you are dead on.. he has not talked about it at all since the last thing I said in jokingly way that he should put it back .if its my sons and girlfriend I think they kind of might wonder..

Unless they leave it out in plain sight then he was snooping wasn't he? And wouldn't they be really PO'd if they thought someone was snooping and stole their vibrator?

Respect his privacy, why not? Is he always there when you use your vibrator? Ever use it on him?

I will never ever tell them anything about this... he took mine said I did not need it when he was not around and he told me aroynd this same time that if a married woman masterbates its because she does not desire or love her husband.. I have told him he ever wants to try anything it dors not matter what it is all he jas to do is ask I won't judge him!

He is a lucky fellow, he should be MORE grateful. I hope one day he is.

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Originally Posted by Gettnunbuttheiz

he took mine said I did not need it when he was not around and he told me aroynd this same time that if a married woman masterbates its because she does not desire or love her husband..!

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Interesting... does this work both ways in his view? If he does it, does it mean he does not desire or love you?

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Originally Posted by DoulaLC

Interesting... does this work both ways in his view? If he does it, does it mean he does not desire or love you?

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Well that's my worrie... I cant help but think that

I just talked to my husband about your question, and he had an interesting point of view.

You posted that your husband took away your vibrator, that he didn't want you using it without him there, that if you do, to him that means you don't love him.

My husbands take on this was that he may be telling the truth that this vibrator belongs to your son and the girlfriend. Maybe he saw it, and because of his belief that using one without your partner means trouble, he took it.

If that's the case, it's not his place to do so, but could this be a possibility?

It's far fetched, but that's what you get when I ask my husband. ;)

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Originally Posted by Gettnunbuttheiz

Well that's my worrie... I cant help but think that

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Maybe he really believes it, maybe the thought that you might use one without him makes him feel insecure.

So if he did use one, do you feel it would be because he is not desiring or loving you as before? That is the concern? You believe the same way he does on the issue?

Since he says it was from your son's room, Why not just take it and put it away somewhere else or throw it away, or put it back in their room?

You could also ask your son. Not the easiest conversation, but that would be getting down to the bottom of it pretty fast, and knowing for sure if your husband is lying to you.

Those last few posts by the OP make you think what the freak!! I still don't believe he would go in someone else's room and take a vibrator thats not his (EWWW!!). That does not compute.

Nor does it compute he would take his wife's vibrator when he leaves. Something is way off here.

He told me if I ask my son then he will be very embarrassed I told him I won't say anything...

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Originally Posted by DoulaLC

Maybe he really believes it, maybe the thought that you might use one without him makes him feel insecure.

So if he did use one, do you feel it would be because he is not desiring or loving you as before? That is the concern? You believe the same way he does on the issue?

Since he says it was from your son's room, Why not just take it and put it away somewhere else or throw it away, or put it back in their room?

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No I don't believe like that all.. I know masturbation is healthy when you are in a relationship it does not mean you don't desire your mate.. I do think he might believe his way of thinking and that is the concern..

It sounds as though the two of you need to talk during a quiet time and see if you can be on the same page or at least have a better understanding of what the other is thinking and feeling. It may ease your mind and you won't have to be wondering what he may or may not be doing.

Thanks to all that gave me advice...

You are very welcome Ms G. its quite normal I think that long married couples hit bumps in the road and have to regroup, reorganize, and reconnect and make adjustments going forward.

My wife told me she would kick my a$$ if I pulled that "if you really love me" you wouldn't use the vibrator without me line of crap! It would get worse if I TRIED to take it when I left (her exact phrase involved SHOVING it up somewhere).

She is hardly passive, and I do take her at her word. But good luck. Your husband too... he may be the one that needs it.

Thank you I think lol...