Newsflash: I don't this guy's going to be turnin' into a pornstar anytime soon.
But it would be good to know where you stand.

I forgot to add, and maybe its been addressed above but I know Diabetes can play a huge roll in sexual dysfunctions... not being able to get and maintain an erection and so on. Has he been checked for this?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by go-ask-mom

I forgot to add, and maybe its been addressed above but I know Diabetes can play a huge roll in sexual dysfunctions....not being able to get and maintain an erection and so on. Has he been checked for this??

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DIABETES? Man, that came out of left field.

Did I miss some medical news from "E-Rose"

Maybe he has lupus... or lime's disease.

Anyway, something is up. :D

Seriously... Diabetes can have this affect on middle aged men. When there blood sugar is high and out of whack.. . just basic health in general. I could find some link to it but I'm to lazy to "google" it, so do some research if you disbelieve! :)

Anyway... no, NOTHING is up... and That's the problem. ;)

kaitou that is what I was thinking. Maybe something happened in a past relationship that gave him a sort of sour taste about sex. If someone is pressured into doing something sexually that they don't want to or have a really bad sexual experience it can be emotionally devastating and effect their sex life for the rest of their life!

Yes indeed, I know diabetes can cause sexual problems... so, can high blood pressure and a variety of other things...

But it seems like Mr. English Rose has other problems - like indifference. My guess is ER would know about diabetes... but hey, maybe they REALLY don't communicate :-)

I have even offered to get a pole!! Believe me, there isn't a trick in the book I didn't try. I would obviously like to believe he isn't gay, but I've even asked that. I don't think there is something medically wrong with him and I'm pretty sure he isn't mentally scared. We talk openly about everything else.
We don't have kids yet. He really wants them and for the last few months we have been trying but since things have gone down hill over the last two weeks we haven't had sex at all. There is a chance I'm actually pregnant now which would really throw a spanner into the works, but its unlikely( I have a post on pregnancy and motherhood). If nothing gets sorted I definitely won't keep trying.
Money isn't so tight that we are in conflict about it. We are both still working full time in decent jobs so we will never starve or anything!

Perhaps he needs to see another kind of doctor ; not the physician kind but the PhD kind who makes a living in psychotherapy. Consider it.

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Originally Posted by EnglishRose

I have tried ultimatums but at the end of the day I can't bring myself to leave for something that I would call him all the names under the sun if he left me over!

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This last statement of yours makes me think that maybe you need to go back and re-evaluate exactly what's really important to you. You seem really unhappy with things the way they are but then you essentially say that it's not worth leaving over. This is a mixed message ; if it's not worth leaving over, then why are you so unhappy? Is there something else that's really bothering you besides the sex? Many people would obviously claim that your boyfriend has underlying issues that have nothing to do with sex. After reading this statement of yours I wonder if maybe you do as well?

A pole?!

OK, this just got funny. I like you!
(you are perhaps working way too hard on this - and that may be an issue. This is a lopsided affair. Which is not a turn-on either.)

If you are not pregnant... visualize a break and see if a good thing:

A break will reveal what he's capable of... what you both are capable of...

Don't put all your eggs in one basket if those eggs can't get properly cooked.

Just curious, Your trying to get pregnant and so far nothing,
But he doesn't satisfy you? I do remember asking about any stress in his life, but trying to make a baby isn't stress? Shows what I know. It also shows it takes a few pages to get the important facts.

Indeed.

I don't really understand what your getting at, do you mean that trying for a baby is stressful and could be the cause? We haven't been trying in the sense that we are pushing ourselves. My doctor took me off the pill so he could run some tests without the hormones interfering. He said my chances of concieving may not be great so we decided to carry on as normal but without the pill to see if things could happen naturally. It hasn't caused any stress between us because deep down we were never expecting it to work, only now I'm craving flap jacks like you wouldn't believe!

Trying to get pregnant and pondering a dead love life...

The first one sure as heck ain't going to solve the second...

Careful.

I'm in the same type of situation Rose. However, it is my fiancé whom has the sexual appitie. I seem to have lost a lot of it. I still love my fiancé, so in your case don't go to the extreem in thinking he doesn't love you or w/e. I know how he feels and I, so I can relate to you. I think in my situation its because I'm just not into the whole sexual thing, never have been. That may play a part or maybe he is stressed from life situations. Just talk to him is what you should do. Sometime's my fiancé tries to talk to me, but if he bugs me to have sex I get very anoyed, so make sure not to become a ''pest'' in his eyes. Good luck and I posted a question similar to this, feel free to check it out. Have a great day :-)

Many men enjoy sex in the morning more at night. I would say bring it up again to see how much it is hurting you. And then maybe back off sex for awhile and not give in for sex and tease him a little so the foreplay can occur more regularly.

Without the communication you will never figure this out and despite you thinking everything is perfect except sex, I would have to disagree as one of you is holding back with the communication process and this relationship will never grow as long as it is neglected.

Actually we have taken some time out to talk about things and for the first time he is starting to talk to me. He says he feels to pressured and because I get so upset about it, it got worse the next time around but that when I backed off it was even worse because it built up and up over the time. I will see how it goes. Thanks everyone