Make sure your wife has time for herself; with two children it is easy to feel that a woman's life is being lived for other people (and so a husband's legitimate requests for sex just feel like one more obligation). Help with the children/housework, pay for someone to do the housework, and/or babysit while she takes a craft class or engages in a hobby. Once she feels she's had some time for her, her sex drive may increase (and of course, set the right mood).

It's amazing that women can get sexual control like that in a marriage. It's a power thing pure and simple. Using sex as a weapon is plain wrong and drives thew promise of monogamy straight out of a marriage. It's also grounds for a divorce isn't it? I'm in the same boat and frustrated beyond belief. People enter a marriage with a set of expectations of what you will get out of a marriage. There are soooo many postings here that basically say... you ( the man) has to keep courting her. Christ... I'm 45, pay all the bills, do everything I can to help around the house and with kids... I love her dearly but enough is enough. I have tried the romance, the date night, the "little things" that sincerely are done because I love her... love notes, clean up here, do something nice without being asked there... it goes unnoticed for the most part, no reciprocity... it's almost like it's expected behaviour.. My advances, subtle or direct... always result in "no"... I did not get married to become a married bachelor! Now it's up to me to court? Screw that! Court me. If you cut me off, I'll get what I need elsewhere...

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