In all seriousness have you suggested she go to the gym and get a personal trainer? They cannot make her butt bigger but they can show her exercises like squats to help her firm up her butt. As a woman with a former really big butt I understand that guys like this and that is cool. If you choose to bring this up to your wife I would suggest being very kind. At the end of the day even if she would gain weight there is not guarantee that it would go to her but. Also to be 100% clear I am in no way endorsing in any way for someone to gain weight.

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Originally Posted by leifweaver

I think that this is a legitimate question. It is rare to be married to someone who attracts you in every way. I have a preference for a certain phenotype, and am married to a woman who is not that phenotype, because there are many things that I rate in a life companion more than her phenotype. We all see other people that have qualities that we desire that our partner doesn't have, but in the end you can't pick and choose. You can't have one woman's wit and one woman's butt, and another woman's enjoyable hobbies. People are not mix and match that way. I think that it comes down to looking at your wife as a whole package. It may be, that you find that her not having a big butt is a deal-breaker. (which I am sure many people would find shallow, but we all have things that are deal-breakers.) In which case you should leave her (even though it is VERY awkward to break up with someone for reasons that are generally considered shallow) and find someone else. But I think that you will find that, taken as a complete package, with her strengths and her faults (in the sense things that you wish for), you will probably find that you would rather be with her than with some other person who has a big butt, but does not have the other qualities that you love about your wife.

Good luck.

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What is a phenotype?

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Originally Posted by Aurora_Bell

What is a phenotype?

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Genetics quick and brutal. You have your chromosomes, these carry all your genes. A lot of the genes between people are the same. The differences in a handful of genes are what make use unique individuals.

A person's genotype is the genetic description of a person. What genes you have.

A person's phenotype is the physical expression of their genotype.

So a genotype would be the ATCG representation of their iris pigmentation. The Phenotype would be Green eyes. So on and so forth.

I am not sure that leifweaver is using the term absolutely correct, but it is close enough.

I hope that helps.

Hmm yes that does help, so was he saying he likes specific qualitites of girls? Doesn't everyone? Is the Phenotype something specific like blonde hair and blue eyes?

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Originally Posted by Aurora_Bell

hmm yes that does help, so was he saying he likes specific qualitites of girls? Doesn't everyone? Is the Phenotype something specific like blonde hair and blue eyes?

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Yes that was he was saying. Yes phenotype is something specific. It is just 'smart speak' for a trait.

Somehow I find the negative comments deameaning. We all are really not being honest if we are male especially and state we have never looked at the round or flat of another woman other than our significant other.
Men by nature generally get turned on by features of a woman. Flat bottom or chest.. blossomed bottom or flat. Each of us has something that inflates our Mr. Happy. So it is only natural... some guys who can control themselves might look into taking a massage therapy or related class or more. Maybe by having the experience you could find more excitement with your mate and become more aroused by your lover than just any random naked woman..

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Originally Posted by tigerfan519

Somehow I find the negative comments deameaning. We all are really not being honest if we are male especially and state we have never looked at the round or flat of another woman other than our significant other.
Men by nature generally get turned on by features of a woman. Flat bottom or chest.. blossomed bottom or flat. Each of us has something that inflates our Mr. Happy. So it is only natural... some guys who can control themselves might look into taking a massage therapy or related class or more. Maybe by having the experience you could find more excitement with your mate and become more aroused by your lover than just any random naked woman..

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Big difference between looking and contemplating adultry to get. You need to reread the OP's original post. If it was your wife planning on doing this because she wants 14 inches and you only have 5 would it be demeaning if anyone suggested she not pursue it... yeah it might be semantics here... but important ones.

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Originally Posted by tigerfan519

some guys who can control themselves might look into taking a massage therapy or related class or more. Maybe by having the experience you could find more excitement with your mate and become more aroused by your lover than just any random naked woman..

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I find this advice questionable for this op.

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indernath: The thing is I am missing out on the one strong desire which is causing mental distress.

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That he feels this 'desire' so strongly that it is causing 'mental distress' takes the op's problem out of likes and dislikes and into larger problems such as obsessions. I would be concerned that if he found an 'outlet' (if his culture allows it), it would make matters worse at home.

How come Cat1864. If I find an outlet, may be that would solve my problem. For everybody's information mine was an arranged marriage.

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Originally Posted by indernath

How come Cat1864. If i find an outlet, may be that would solve my problem. For everybody's information mine was an arranged marriage.

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So you had to marry her? You had no choice at all? Could you say no, not this one, find someone else?

Even if you couldn't, she's your wife, you made a commitment to her, like it or not.

If you want to be a dog and sleep around just because you have a fetish for big butts, there's nothing we can do to stop you. I just feel sorry for the woman that's married to you. You obviously don't care about her feelings, you only care about yourself.

Dear Altenweg, kindly go through my question once again. You will find that I have clearly stated that I love and respect my wife. Of course I have commitment towards her. I have never slept around.

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Originally Posted by indernath

Dear Altenweg, kindly go through my question once again. You will find that I have clearly stated that I love and respect my wife. Ofcourse I have committment towards her. I have never slept around.

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Then why mention that you're in an arranged marriage?

You're the one that said you're thinking of having an affair.

Maybe you should re-read your posts.

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Originally Posted by indernath

How come Cat1864. If i find an outlet, may be that would solve my problem. For everybody's information mine was an arranged marriage.

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You use very strong language in describing your problem. You say such things as: "The thing is I am missing out on the one strong desire which is causing mental distress."

When something gets to the point of causing 'mental distress', there is a possibility that the 'outlet' could become your main focus. It can be very easy to allow something that you 'enjoy' a lot to take over your life. Some gamers and hobbyists have that problem. What started as a diversion became an 'obsession' that takes up most of their lives.

There is also the risk that getting your 'desire' met in other places could lead you to be more dissatisfied at home. Are you willing to risk your marriage just to feel 'big buttocks'?

Does your wife know about your 'desires'? How do you think she feels knowing that she can't fully please you? How do think she would feel if you got your 'desire' met someplace other than home? I am not talking about cheating. I am talking about anything that allows you to feel women's bottoms.

Altenweg, I think I asked about the 'arranged marriage' to get a better understanding of how he ended up with a wife who didn't have the physical attributes he craves.

Amen brother, I like a full-figured woman.

If you love and respect your wife and would never dream of cheating on her, what's the problem here?

Everyone in a relationship has been in your shoes a time or two.

In an arranged marriage you don't get to see the whole physical attributes. I never gave any hint of any affair. All I wanted to know was whether my wishes could be fulfilled without any pang of guilt. Because, I have seen some men, including married ones, getting opportunities naturally where they get to enjoy another well shaped women like in reality shows. Sometimes,the women themselves will come forward and hug these men. Since I am not in such a field, I envy those men and feel distressed. If I get such an opportunity OK and if not a big OK. Thanks to all of you who took the trouble to guide, educate and englighten me. Thanks once again.

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Originally Posted by indernath

In an arranged marriage you don't get to see the whole physical attributes. I never gave any hint of any affair. All I wanted to know was whether my wishes could be fulfilled without any pang of guilt. Because, I have seen some men, including married ones, getting opportunities naturally where they get to enjoy another well shaped women like in reality shows. Sometimes,the women themselves will come forward and hug these men. Since I am not in such a field, I envy those men and feel distressed. If I get such an opportunity OK and if not a big OK. Thanks to all of you who took the trouble to guide, educate and englighten me. Thanks once again.

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I suppose what is confusing, or worrying me, is the way you talk about opportunities. It depends on where the infidelity line is for you, where it is for your wife, and how far apart those lines are. Groping a big bottom might not be a big deal for you, but it might be a big deal for your wife.

In answer to your original question: Only you can answer whether you'll feel guilty for indulging your desire to grab big butts.

If you have an understanding with your wife and she is okay with it. Then go for it. Be certain though that she is okay with it. If you go forward with this it will give her the signal that she doesn't have everything you desire. Though you love and respect her, you will essentially be telling her that she isn't good enough for you.

The guilt you might be feel will stem from the fact that you're gaining gratification, sexual or otherwise, from another woman. It doesn't really matter if you're groping a bottom, breast, thigh, or foot. You'll still be going somewhere other then your wife.

Don't go looking for opportunities. To not take opportunities that come your way if they're not from your wife. Try to look at your wife's bottom without the preconception that it is small or that it might not feel good. Give it a good feel. You might find yourself surprised that it will do it for you.

As you grow older you might find that you will gain an appreciation for her bottom.

I hope that helps.

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Originally Posted by indernath

Because, I have seen some men, including married ones, getting opportunities naturally where they get to enjoy another well shaped women like in reality shows.

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You do realize that "reality shows" aren't real, right?

This just keeps getting stranger and stranger. I think he has a jaded idea of what REALITY is really about!

Arrainged marriage or not... you accepted it. You was there after all, wasn't you.


Now look at it from this perspective.

You wife has a fixation, a fetish for men with a schlong that reaches their knee.

How would you feel if she was just as determined to go for it as you are about big bottoms.

I'm sure YOU wouldn't think so highly of it.

Ok all this talk about 14" schlongs is making me feel like I'm missing out somewhere... :P

Wouldn't we all want our partners to be physically perfect if it were possible - but when I wake up and find out I look like Angelina Jolie I'll give Brad a ring, till then I'm glad to have a man with a good heart and the rest in reasonable working order.

Now someone told me if you rub it it grows.. must go try it...

Seriously though - it's one of those things that the more energy you put into it the more it will seem important. Ok ogle the odd big butt on TV when you get the chance and have the odd fantasy but then put it aside. If you get it into your head that maybe you could just have a quick grope of one, even if you managed it, it wouldn't be enough. Whilst it is so prominent in your mind you'd never be satisfied. So tell yourself OK I know what my ideal is regarding butts, but this is what I have, then focus on the other good things you have instead.