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-   -   Ex girlfriend doesn't want to try only wants sex (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=445122)

  • Feb 14, 2010, 04:26 PM
    alex0830

    This stinks. Valentines alone. My dumbbutt ga ve her a gift and a valentines card with a whole lot of feeling. She said thank you and teared up when she read it. We had a short kiss but then it was over and she told me that I'm better off without her. I'm lost without her.
  • Feb 14, 2010, 04:31 PM
    talaniman

    Time to find yourself without her now.
  • Feb 14, 2010, 08:34 PM
    alex0830

    I am so mad at myself and sad. On valenitines day come on guys. Her daughter was texting me and telling me her mommy left her with her 2 other kids and grandma and granpa are asleep. That her mommy told her she was coming back later on at night and that she was dressed up in a skirt and heels and a nice shirt. Come on she freaking told e she was going to her sisters. Why including today does she lie in my face that there's no one involved. Where else is she going to go on valentines at 8pm because her sister was at her house. Omg I'm so mad. This woman is a 28yr old with 3 kids and doesn't have the descensy to be honest. Y? I'm 25 with no kids and I can't seem to move on. What the hell is my problem
  • Feb 14, 2010, 08:40 PM
    J_9
    Dude, Valentines Day is created by Hallmark. Yes, I am a woman and I despise this day. It's a reason to spend money. Life, love and happiness occurs every day, not just once a year.
  • Feb 14, 2010, 08:58 PM
    alex0830

    Y would a woman lie so bluntly in my face that there's no one around. Y can't I hate this woman or thing whatever the hell she is. Obviously she doesn't have feelings. Its clear cut that she had a date and left her kids. Y does she continue to say there's no one involved.
  • Feb 14, 2010, 09:56 PM
    talaniman

    Geez dude, what do you expect from a female who uses men for sex? Now you know that such people exist, accept it, and the bullet you barely dodged. Just figure she had to replace you with somebody... anybody. Celebrate!!
  • Feb 15, 2010, 06:35 AM
    alex0830

    I understand. But its hard when you fall deep in love with someone. I just hate people lying in my face. I mean if she tells me to move on and to back off that she's happier and don't want to be with me. Shot she even told me I talked her out of the whole having sex with me thing
  • Feb 15, 2010, 07:06 AM
    I wish
    If you keep staying in contact with her or getting updates about her, you're just going to prolong the pain and misery.

    When you are ready to let go, then you need 1000% NC.

    Every time you talk to her, you're going to reset all the progress you've made. Based on your posts, you have zero progress because you are constantly trying to communicate with her. So you're just going to keep on suffering.

    When you're ready to let her go, know that the NC rules are there for you to help you heal from the break up.
  • Feb 15, 2010, 07:11 AM
    talaniman
    Quote:

    So I keep calling her and finally she yells at me to back off and to stop calling and calls me a loser a pest and a piece of crap. I go to her house the next day and she says she looked for me because she was drinking and got horny and she felt comfortable with me. We make love again that morning but she says that right now she doesn't want a relationship but like to make love to me because of comfort. And then she says she won't stop going out. But would like to keep it simple. I told her no that I wasn't a sexual object.
    I think you have to examine exactly what it was you were so in love with, as she seemed really clear what her feelings were. Yes its hard when we get rejected, and have to accept that things won't work, but all the feelings in the world cannot change all that, or stop the hurting. Maybe there is no one else, just her having fun doing her thing, but that's not the important part as I don't see her being more honest than she could be, but you not seeing that this will never work.

    Nice rant though, and venting those feelings helps.
  • Feb 15, 2010, 07:45 AM
    amicon

    You've had one lucky escape.
    Go no contact and stay no contact.
    Take control of your own life and avoid her at all costs.
  • Feb 15, 2010, 08:34 AM
    Devorameira

    I am sorry about the breakup, but before you can move on you need to accept the reality of your situation. You broke up, it’s over. Let reality sink in. Don’t allow yourself to harbor secret fantasies of getting back together or how she’s going to come crawling back to you. Respect that this chapter of your life has closed and tell yourself that you’re going to have to get over it and move on. It didn’t work out and it probably wasn’t meant to be. Accept that fact and move on.

    You need to realize that she’s making a fool out of you. She’s playing games with your heart. You need to go complete NC with her. Don’t talk to her at all - no text, no calls, no emails. Change your phone number then she can’t text!

    If you really feel like you’re falling apart over all of this you should consider talking to a counselor. Gain back your life and self respect. You need to heal and get healthy again before you can find the real woman of your dreams.
  • Feb 15, 2010, 04:05 PM
    alex0830

    Guys I really appreciate all of your suggestions. It gives me a bit of relief. And yes I am the type of person that has to express their feelings. Thank GOD I found this site. Really guys I am a very good person and nice yes I admit I do have my flaws but not to the extent this girl is treating. Its like she's a cold blooded person with no feeling for anything or anyone. I help people out with their problems and in general but this problem hit home which I need help for. I fell for this girl totally and loved her more than words can describe. She was my world my princess my all and I received this great disappointment. So please don't get mad if I express myself constantlybut I lost many of my friends and my social life due to this woman.
  • Feb 15, 2010, 04:18 PM
    J_9
    Never, ever, make another person your "world." ALWAYS keep a sense of identity and independence. All you will get out of making someone your "world" is loneliness and desperation.
  • Feb 15, 2010, 05:55 PM
    talaniman

    We won't get mad at you for ranting and venting, as we have all had to learn the same life lessons you are learning now.

    Sorry you have to go through the pain of learning the realities of life.

    So ranting, and venting, is good, even crying! That's why they make beer, so guys have a place to hide their tears (JK?)

    You'll be okay when the dust settles.
  • Feb 15, 2010, 11:03 PM
    alex0830

    Friends I'm sorry to tell u but this woman just killed every bit of self esteem and every bit of happiness I had. I returned a ph call and she ended up acting like I was bothering her so she finally tells me she did meet someone that she is talking to since Friday and she did it because of the voicemail I forwarded and that she has moved on so I hang up and she calls back laughing saying that she is trying everything for me to stop cqalling her and again she ended up saying that she didn't meet anyone but that this is none of my biz. Fine guys tear me up. I guess I have no self dignity. I'm so low to the ground that it's a challenge for me to come back up. Honestly it has taken a toll on me physically as well I feel weak and just want to sleep it off. This has hurt me so much. How can she be so cruel to me when all I have down is pour my heart to her. How can I deserve that.
  • Feb 16, 2010, 01:55 AM
    amicon
    Again-go NO contact and stop calling,returning calls and getting text and whatever updates.
    No contact,act as if you've dropped off the face of the Earth.
    You need to seriously detox from this toxic mess.
    You can only do that if you cut ALL contact-preferably yesterday!

    Rebuild your selfesteem,get in touch with your friends,get your life back.
  • Feb 16, 2010, 08:53 AM
    talaniman

    Quote:

    This has hurt me so much. How can she be so cruel to me when all I have done is pour my heart to her. How can I deserve that.
    Well geez guy, you poured your heart out to the wrong person, as evidence by what she did to it.

    It was like putting your hand in a gators mouth, and being surprised he bit it off.
  • Feb 16, 2010, 09:13 AM
    Imabadman

    Toot... toot...

    All aboard the Pain Train!
  • Feb 16, 2010, 09:37 AM
    Romefalls19

    Like Tal said, if you stick your hand in boiling water and expect not to be burnt, you're dense. Stop calling and stop answering her phone calls. Change your number if you have too
  • Feb 16, 2010, 03:31 PM
    alex0830

    Oh gosh. This is the hardest thing I have ever done. It feels like torture. I haven't called or txt this woman in one day. Lol. And it hurts. And she is probably having fun and relieved I don't contact her. Man how can women be so rough like this. I mean really how can they b so cold. Will she ever call or txt. I have read the book by george karanastasis m.d. how to get your ex back and it does talk about no contact it says u help yourself out abd eventually she will begin to wonder and her curiosity will b so much she will call u. I lost my thumb drive and lost the book so I can't get it back. Have to buy it againn.then he talks about limited contact. Limites adjuste contact. I'm confused

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