Ask Me Help Desk - Many things that are making me angry, starting to resent, don't know what to do.

Quoting Smoothie 'Wait until she gets a few credit cards and runs THOSE up to their limits as well. '

I don't know how many times her mom has helped her pay her visa down by giving her $ to pay part it off because it was @ $1000.00

This has happened maybe 3-5 times now and I get stressed because she gets upset with how high it is... I say cut it up or at least leave it AT HOME and only bring it out when you need it and her defense is 'what if I need it for gas'. You know when you get in your car if you're going to need gas from the time you leave to the time you come back, if you don't... well that's a whole other story.

About the health concerns, she is RIGHT on the line of bring diabetic, not the more serious one but the one before, I think type 2 (but I have no idea), it's the kind where you don't need insulin and it can be reversed with proper eating habits... which she doesn't do. I can see she has gotten a LITTLE bit better, but nowhere near what she should be.

Now some may think that I am an but I am finding myself less attracted to her because of her attitude/personality and lately the way she looks, I truly do love her but somehow I just can't figure out what to do.

My friend just called me after freaking out on me earlier, he picked up the phone and said ILL CALL YOU BACK, he called back literally just now and said his girlfriend broke up with him...

Sorry, but I think there are waaaay too many issues here.

Your expectations of the relationship are so much at odds with each other that it's frightening. The prospect of an expensive wedding, demands for a ring, too little sex, weight and health issues, financial mismanagement - and it's only been 3 years!

This woman is not marriage material (and for the time being, you're probably not ready either). She's emotionally immature and marriage will not solve anything, it will only make things much, much worse.

You are both far too young. There is no shame in not wanting serious commitment at this stage of your life.

Get out while you can - yep, it will be hard and probably it will be hell, but this one is trouble with a capital T.

Gemini - I think you're right, its just soooo damn hard to even bring this up with her, I know we're at different ends with all of this stuff, but how do I go about bringing it up, I just moved in here like 2 weeks ago and I'd have to go back to my moms house and look for another apartment as I don't want to stay @ her place with her fiancé, I just don't like him really at all.

Quote:

Originally Posted by veryconfuzed

Gemini - I think you're right, its just soooo damn hard to even bring this up with her, I know we're at different ends with all of this stuff, but how do I go about bringing it up, I just moved in here like 2 weeks ago and I'd have to go back to my moms house and look for another apartment as I don't want to stay @ her place with her fiance, I just dont like him really at all.

Just tell her its not working out. Pack up and leave. For your own health, and peace of mind. It's the right thing to do and YOU are being fair by doing it and not hanging around knowing what you plan to do.

She's a walking disaster in about every way possible. Don't see the point I'm trying to make? Make up a list of her current positives... and a list of her current negatives... I'll bet the negatives list is way longer. And that's a clear indoication that the relationship if you want to call it that just isn't working.

Look at it this way... what happens if the next time she decides to spread her legs she gets pregnant... you can kiss your life and your future goodbye.

Well, there is no easy way to do this.

Plan where you will go beforehand - can you stay with a friend? Does anyone you know have a garage where you can store your things?

As to the conversation with your GF, honesty is the best policy. Try to make it about you, rather than her... you're young, not ready for commitment, need some time and space, care about her and don't want to lead her on with false promises of marriage, etc.

Be prepared for drama and tears and try to keep it together.

I feel for you - this is the hardest conversation to have with anyone. Good luck.

I am still not sure what I am going to do, anymore advice anyone could possibly give or give me some insight on anything? Past experiences?

Quote:

Originally Posted by veryconfuzed

I am still not sure what I am going to do, anymore advice anyone could possibly give or give me some insight on anything? past experiences?

We already did that... I for one have been out of college 5 years longer than you have been alive. And I've been where you are and worse over those years, long before the World Wide Web and sites like this existed.

You have two choices... stay with her and put up with her crap, and let her bankrupt you and leave you frustrated as she grows ever larger... or you can leave and find one of the MANY, many women out there without the issues this one has.

Living in a fantasyland where you think you can make her change to what you wish she was like is really not a third option but falls under the former.