What you should do is make up a hypothetical couple, and make this couple(maybe someone you work with's friend) have the same situation. Let your boyfriend know, in no uncertain terms, that YOU feel that this behavior is indeed cheating, and that YOU would not allow it. That way, you put the bug in his ear, without spilling the beans about your snooping.

I know that you don't want to leave this guy, but he is cheating on you all the same. And it's a matter of time until he cheats in the flesh. If he hasn't already.

You say the "sex is great". How do you know that he ISN'T thinking about these women while he is with YOU?

Most women would have already left him by now.

This is indeed addictive behavior.

Go find you a man that doesn't turn you into some detective, and give you a complex.

This is not how considerate people, in loving realtionships, act.

He is living a big ole cheatin' lie.

The world is full of guys that know how to treat a woman. Go find you one.

Good luck to you.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Synnen

Let him know you were wrong to snoop---but are glad you did.

He is cheating on you, even if it's not physical.

Ask him to leave, because you obviously can't trust him.

---

100% true

When is bad behaviour, simply bad behaviour. Why do we put legitimacy to it by calling it 'an addiction' or 'disease', or blame it on his mother hitting him with a cast iron frying pan when he was a kid.

It is what it is. How he can address his bad behaviour, is by being confronted about it, without any sugar coating. After you know the level of his honesty and the history and duration of same, only then can you afford the luxury of a diagnosis, through a qualified professional.

What he has done to you, and your relationship with him, is set it on fire and burned his fidelity, loyalty, honesty, scruples, integrity, morals, and compassion.

What is wrong with this situation, that you would accept this behaviour, and wonder about how to broach the subject with him, even with all the proof you have!

He isn't sick by any stretch of the imagination, unless a Psychiatrist says he is with a diagnosis, and treatment, which of course, doesn't mean squat if he's not either capable, or willing, to make major changes to his very character.

You have email, photos, messages. Print them out, slap them on the kitchen table and tell him to start talking, or start walking.

I'm with Jake - why all this pussyfooting around?

Tell him what you know, show him the evidence and tell him he's a jerk. Then ask him what he wants to do about it - or, better still, tell him what you want him to do about it.

You have a clear choice about what sort of action to take - why are you letting this guy get away with behaving like a creep?

If you can't honestly talk to your partner about what he is doing, then I question your integrity in the relationship. Why do you stay in it and stay quiet about this?