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-   -   Your worst sexual experience. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=336673)

  • Apr 3, 2009, 01:29 PM
    liz28

    Mud, that happen to me once. It was my second time ever having sex. I think I was coming but I wasn't. That was the nastiest thing ever. I never ate again and swore out of sex for a while.
  • Apr 3, 2009, 01:37 PM
    mudweiser
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by liz28 View Post
    Mud, that happen to me once. It was my second time ever having sex. I think I was comming but I wasn't. That was the nastiest thing ever. I never ate again and swore out of sex for a while.

    Haha- did he know?

    My husband ended up finding the sock and was like "what the ___ is this?" with this look that I wish I could explain- it was a mix of confusion and disgust. I turned fire red. He still won't let it down, sometimes he'll say "don't pooh on me".


    MRS.S
  • Apr 3, 2009, 01:47 PM
    Whatever24
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Whatever24 View Post
    Did it in my boyfriend's huge backyard and then found out he had cameras and his whole family was watching the whole thing. I was 17 and he was 19 so we were still young. It was late at night and everyone was supposed to be sleeping at 2am dont you think? Apperantly his family wanted to get some entertainment!!!

    Yes parents and the grandma too, mind as well call the aunts and uncles and cousin's and everyone else! It was just like when we walked in everyone was in the living room sitting down drinking tea and they're just like PFFFFFFFFFT... :D I'm like :confused: then I found out the next day and didn't dare to step into that house again!!
  • Apr 3, 2009, 02:02 PM
    liz28
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by mudweiser View Post
    haha- did he know?

    My husband ended up finding the sock and was like "what the ___ is this?" with this look that I wish I could explain- it was a mix of confusion and disgust. I turned fire red. He still won't let it down, sometimes he'll say "don't pooh on me".


    MRS.S

    Yes he knew because it got on him because when it happen I was on top. The next you know when was like what is so sticky? The mystery wasn't hard to figure out.
  • Apr 3, 2009, 02:59 PM
    artlady
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Whatever24 View Post
    Yes parents and the grandma too, mind as well call the aunts and uncles and cousin's and everyone else! it was just like when we walked in everyone was in the living room sitting down drinking tea and they're just like PFFFFFFFFFT....:D im like :confused: then i found out the next day and didnt dare to step into that house again!!!!!!!!!!!!

    What a bunch of sick puppies,you poor thing.
    I'm laughing but how mortifying is that? :eek:
  • Apr 3, 2009, 03:09 PM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by smoothy View Post
    I think the worst experience for a person who has never had sex would be the time they were weeding the garden and pulling out poison ivy before going inside to masterbate themselves. Or confused the superglue for vasolene.


    Absolutely no joke - my neighbor was mowing his lawn and cleaning up his yard last Spring, was "itchy," scratched himself and ended up with poison oak all over his but and genitals.
  • Apr 3, 2009, 08:10 PM
    Caroljj90

    Me and my girl friend were playing around trying to be quiet but I had a really squeaky bed.. and my mom walked in on us... silly of me to think she wouldn't hear when her bedroom was right next door... *worst part was we were in the lovely pile driver position *haha
  • Apr 3, 2009, 08:32 PM
    liz28

    I recall me and my daughter father trying to add spice to our sex life. We were going go all out that night.

    He had a waterbed at the time. We wanted to tried the hot wax thing and once the hot wax hit me I let out the painful scream because it burn and he didn't just pour one drop it was a few.

    Somehow in the mist of me screaming I moved and ended out getting myself wedge between the frame of the bed. He tried to pull me out but couldn't.

    I got scared and starting screaming at him louder and louder. His next neighbor hear and called the cops.

    Before they came he had to get his cousin to help because he is stronger and only lived downstairs. The only downside he had to see me nasked. Then the cops came and we had to explain what happen and one of the cops give him the hot wax 101 talk.

    However, we did that again and I never tried that with anyone again.
  • Apr 3, 2009, 08:47 PM
    mudweiser
    Ooh gee Liz seems like you have one bad experience after the other.

    That last one made me chuckle.

    MRS.S
  • Apr 3, 2009, 08:51 PM
    sergie
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by nikosmom View Post
    I was with a guy once and he was kissing me all over my neck - which normally I LOVE but he was a little sloppy with it.

    He had slobbered all in my hair and everywhere. My hair was wet with saliva for pete's sake! :mad:

    I just got up in the middle of things... and slowly walked into the bathroom. He looked puzzled. :confused: I got into the shower and washed my hair. I came outta the bathroom, dressed and just stared at him until he got the point and left.


    Make sure he was not a dog!! :D
  • Apr 3, 2009, 08:54 PM
    Jake2008
    Mudweizer, my experience was similar to yours.

    I had met up with a new guy after I had worked a 12 hour shift. I had partied the night before that, and I was totall exhausted.

    So, we are standing in my hallway and things are getting hot and heavy, and we turn to go into the bedroom, and I pass out!!

    I started coming to with him slapping my face, and he was slapping rather hard. As soon as I sat up, I realized why.

    I had let go the biggest fart I've ever had... there was a green cloud over everything. I then pretended to pass out again until the smell disapated, but I don't think he was fooled. By the time I came to again, he had his coat on and was heading out the door.

    Never saw him again...
  • Apr 3, 2009, 11:41 PM
    artlady
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by artlady View Post
    What a bunch of sick puppies,you poor thing.
    I'm laughing but how mortifying is that? :eek:

    Quote:

    Whatever24 agrees: I'm telling you the nice innocent ones are the bad ones. His mom winked at me and I'm like oh you guys are up? "they had just finished watching a movie"
    They watched two movies,that is so funny,you poor kid but you must have wanted to laugh about it at some point in time? Hopefully it didn't traumatize you for life from ever wanting to have sex again:)
  • Apr 4, 2009, 06:05 AM
    liz28

    One day, few years back, I invited this guy over to my house that I was seeing.

    When he came over I didn't think anything would happen sexually because I didn't dig him that way. We were just relaxing watching movies and he just pulled out his equipment. I don't think I've ever been more stunned in my life because of his lack of tact. Who just pulls out his thing for no reason out of no where?

    When I refused to touch his... thing, after he repeatly requestf me too, instead of giving up he tried to act "understanding" and said the following to me "Ohhh, I know why you won't touch it you've never seen one before, have you?" " And if you did I bet you it wasn't big like this".

    I'm not sure what sort of logic he had, but obviously, he couldn't get it into his head that a woman could refuse him. Well I don't know what breed of females he was used to. I guess he just whipped it out and they just jumped his bones on the spot. And he couldn't understand that his thing wasn't as cute/big as he thought. I think too many females gas his head.

    Long stort short I kicked him out. Then he had the nerves to say on the way out "You just scare of me because my thing is too much too handle and your scared of d**k". I told him if you don't get out of my house in less than 5 seconds, I am going be too much for you to handled and your going be scared of me.

    After he left I couldn't understand why some guys say "Your scared of sex or my thing is too big" all because you don't want to have sex with them.
  • Apr 4, 2009, 06:24 AM
    Whatever24
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by artlady View Post
    They watched two movies,that is so funny,you poor kid but you must have wanted to laugh about it at some point in time? Hopefully it didn't traumatize you for life from ever wanting to have sex again:)


    Hahaha I had a good laugh, once I told like my best friend which is my cousin, we had a goooood laugh! But ever since the day after I just lost all my feelings for my ex slowly but I did and then I'm just like "i really can't return to your house!" lol


    No trauma but I was sure traumatized when he told me!! :rolleyes:
  • Apr 4, 2009, 06:29 AM
    liz28

    I wouldn't returned back to her house either. Your ex had a family of freaks. That's weird!
  • Apr 4, 2009, 06:38 AM
    Whatever24

    oh that's not just 'weird'. That's like weird x 5325435435454543543!! I mean c'mon people that is just perverted! Lol for that you go watch porn in your room not your son having sex with his girlfriend!
  • Apr 4, 2009, 11:32 AM
    slapshot_oi

    A couple years ago I was going down on my ex right after I ate and being in the position I was in I had indigestion. At risk of ruining the moment I figured what the hell and did something about it; I was rewarded with a fart of colossal magnitude and started laughing hysterically. She instantly "lost it" and was understandably irritated. I did it again a few times after too, hahaha.
  • Apr 4, 2009, 10:54 PM
    Alty
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Caroljj90 View Post
    me and my girl friend were playing around trying to be quiet but i had a really squeaky bed..and my mom walked in on us...silly of me to think she wouldn't hear when her bedroom was right next door...*worst part was we were in the lovely pile driver position *haha

    Are you sharing your account with someone? Are you male or female?
  • Apr 4, 2009, 11:32 PM
    liz28

    Good question because I thought Carol was a girl especially from her other thread.

    I think someone is sharing an account.
  • Apr 5, 2009, 02:42 PM
    Caroljj90

    No I am a girl I'm bisexual.. and no I'm not sharing my account with any one.

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