Ask Me Help Desk - Sex with an older man

You're both adults, if you both consent then there is no problem with it.

As for the age issue, it's only as big a deal as it is in your own head. There are plenty of people attracted to older and younger partners, and many that enjoy very fulfilling relationships in age gap relationships. There are as many benefits to sleeping with a man in his 50s as with a man in his 20s. And there are as many dangers in sleeping with a man in his 20s as there are with a man in his 50s.

HOWEVER - the fact that you couldn't answer this for yourself and had to ask a forum of strangers suggests that you don't know your own feelings. If I were you I would refrain for this reason. If you really want to, then you won't need to ask others if you should. Give yourself a little more time to learn about yourself and your heart. Just because you're 18 now doesn't mean you absolutely have to rush into sex with anyone at all if you don't truly feel comfortable.

I'd suggest that you evaluate why you want to act on this fantasy. How would you feel afterward? If you don't feel so great about this, decline the offer. You'll find someone you're more comfortable with, in all likelihood, who'd be more than happy to get you off. If you feel you would enjoy the experience (and not "not care" or "not mind" I mean actually emotionally and physically benefit from), then you do whatever you think works.

It's natural to have sexual feelings you aren't so comfortable with, or aren't sure about. Take a step back and evaluate things, as lust isn't known for improving decision-making skills.

I've wanted several guys, some older (40 yrs max), but I generally realized I personally couldn't deal with the fact that it would really be an unequal thing---I would hate suspecting that it was some objectification of young women, or my (former) virginity etc etc as opposed to my individual merits.

BTW, if he's saying that he's sooo experienced and better than the young guys, that's a bit manipulative and unfair to young guys who like to get a woman off.

This thread is almost a month old, I think she has already decided whether she will be sleeping with him.

Nobody can stop what you want to do, or how you feel. But for the fact that he is 50, and your 18 just seems wrong. Though I think age doesn't matter, your at that age where sex is always on the mind. I wish you the best in anything you pick, and I won't judge as others should not either. But be careful, when a girl has sex sometimes it gets into our heads and could made things weird or upsetting stronger feelings, and so forth.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Justwantfair

This thread is almost a month old, I think she has already decided whether she will be sleeping with him.

Not necessarily, took me about a month to figure on a definite "no" once.

Quote:

Originally Posted by shyfoxie

Not necessarily, took me about a month to figure on a definite "no" once.

The point is, the OP hasn't come back since she started this thread, so it's time to let it go, move on and forget about this until the OP comes back to give us an update.

There's no point in bumping a dead thread to the top of the list.