Ask Me Help Desk - How do guys feel about dating a girl that's a virgin?

Quote:

Originally Posted by sunshine304

how so?

He was wanting in your pants... getting you to sleep in his bed gets him a LOT closer to his goal.

I am a mid 20s virgin too!
Dreading for sex... or touch and feel someone for that matter. To loose it with some one virgin would be special...

I lost my virginity after high school too. I'd met guys who seemed to think that they needed to "fix" that or seemed uninterested in me otherwise, but I didn't keep them around.

It IS frustrating, but when I finally found my guy, and he found out I was a virgin he was fine with winning my trust and letting me go an my own pace. Over a month after we he told me he felt so special that I wanted him to be my first.

Look for a guy who respects you and will understand just how rare and awesome it is to find a girl that cares and trusts herself enough to do things, and is willing to wait for the right guy. A good man will realize just how much you mean to him if you let him have you when you're ready.

BTW... for your first time... condom+lube+you on top at first+foreplay+relax. It could range from somewhat painful to frikkin sweet, but if it really really really hurts, feel free to stop him. You might not be turned on enough or well-lubricated, and this also applies to non-virgins. If you're enjoying it, you may not even notice that your cherry just got popped, so make sure you relax and let him know this could take a while, and have him do something that you find especially arousing or pleasurable first, and try to have him work up to it (maybe try fingering you sometime gently, let you get used to the feeling, see if he'll go down on you, and when you honestly don't feel like that's enough for you anymore, you're probably ready).

Quote:

Originally Posted by shyfoxie

I lost my virginity after high school too. I'd met guys who seemed to think that they needed to "fix" that or seemed uninterested in me otherwise, but I didn't keep them around.

It IS frustrating, but when I finally found my guy, and he found out I was a virgin he was fine with winning my trust and letting me go an my own pace. Over a month after we he told me he felt so special that I wanted him to be my first.

Look for a guy who respects you and will understand just how rare and awesome it is to find a girl that cares and trusts herself enough to do things, and is willing to wait for the right guy. A good man will realize just how much you mean to him if you let him have you when you're ready.

BTW...for your first time...condom+lube+you on top at first+foreplay+relax. It could range from somewhat painful to frikkin sweet, but if it really really really hurts, feel free to stop him. You might not be turned on enough or well-lubricated, and this also applies to non-virgins. If you're enjoying it, you may not even notice that your cherry just got popped, so make sure you relax and let him know this could take a while, and have him do something that you find especially arousing or pleasurable first, and try to have him work up to it (maybe try fingering you sometime gently, let you get used to the feeling, see if he'll go down on you, and when you honestly don't feel like that's enough for you anymore, you're probably ready).

I meant he said he felt special about a month after we'd first made love (his preferred term, he's rather sentimental and romantic sometimes... I loves him!) by the way, so it wasn't as if he was using that to convince me into bed. I mean, technically he'd gotten me into his bed, but he knew I wouldn't go all the way, so he only asked once or twice if we were fooling around and took a solid no as a sign to stick to other activities.

Quote:

Originally Posted by shyfoxie

I lost my virginity after high school too. I'd met guys who seemed to think that they needed to "fix" that or seemed uninterested in me otherwise, but I didn't keep them around.

It IS frustrating, but when I finally found my guy, and he found out I was a virgin he was fine with winning my trust and letting me go an my own pace. Over a month after we he told me he felt so special that I wanted him to be my first.

Look for a guy who respects you and will understand just how rare and awesome it is to find a girl that cares and trusts herself enough to do things, and is willing to wait for the right guy. A good man will realize just how much you mean to him if you let him have you when you're ready.

BTW...for your first time...condom+lube+you on top at first+foreplay+relax. It could range from somewhat painful to frikkin sweet, but if it really really really hurts, feel free to stop him. You might not be turned on enough or well-lubricated, and this also applies to non-virgins. If you're enjoying it, you may not even notice that your cherry just got popped, so make sure you relax and let him know this could take a while, and have him do something that you find especially arousing or pleasurable first, and try to have him work up to it (maybe try fingering you sometime gently, let you get used to the feeling, see if he'll go down on you, and when you honestly don't feel like that's enough for you anymore, you're probably ready).

Thank you so much for your response. My feelings about the whole topic have changed a bit recently and I've come to some realizations. It is very frustrating trying to find a guy that is willing to wait until I'm ready. I know that I will eventually find the right guy and I think I'll be happy that I saved it for somebody that cares about me on more than just a sexual level. I think a lot of women (myself included) feel like they're "supposed" to lose their virginity by a certain age and end up regretting it. I'm really trying to change the way that I think about it and to not feel like I should be embarrassed that I'm still a virgin. I know sex isn't a big deal to some people, but my first time isn't something that I can get back and I just want it to be something more than just "time to get it over with"

Anyway, it's nice to know that there are other people that know how I feel.