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Originally Posted by Mr. Curious

I think we both like her riding. Recently, with her driving and me going with her cadence where the tip(maybe fist inch and a half of my penis) is entered and withdrawn completely, reinserted, withdrawn, and so on and so on...... my be stimulating her the most get the most reaction(not vocally) but action on her part. I'm on the small side and the amount of my penis being used in this scenario helps me last longer and her most animated. If I could just get a couple "yes, yes, yes" or something vocal in that manner, it would make me feel like things are "almost there. I may come out next time this is happening and say(as someone else suggested) "like that Honey?".

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Very good Mr. C. Odds are she is just shy about being vocal, but I happen to know for a fact that if you are truly getting her off, she won't be able to keep her mouth shut. Go ahead, talk a little dirty to her...

I think the key issue here is communication. Even if you think she is shy, and you think that she did not have an open relationship with her parents about sexuality, she, just like everyone else has had thoughts about it during her puberty. So, what's preventing her from asking you or friends about their experiences?

You know that she is not going to stay in the 'closet' all her life, and if you intend on a future with her - you will need to eventually find out what her preferences are. This is called "discovering each other" and "communicating". If you don't bring up the subject this does not mean she will not be curious about it. It's your choice if you want her to learn more with you or through other informational input (i.e. friends, books, media, etc.)

Maybe it's still too early in your relationship (in your opinion) to gain the trust and openness that you both need to advance - because nobody keeps the same attitude about anything in life forever. We all learn more and more each day, and communicating our likes and dislikes are a very important part in all of our development.

Again, good luck.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_3_18.gif The more you know, the better you grow! Never make total assumptions about another person, they change all the time.

Listen, people are reading too much into this. If you want to know if she is getting off, then just ask her.
And yes, if she is truly at her climax, some noise or indication of that sort will be made, whether it is from her breathing or vocals, you will know. But beware, women can and do fake orgasms.
You don' t need to do extra research and all that crap-women have a special spot they liked to be "rubbed"-that's it. So just rub it until she can't sit still (or quiet). Then you will know.

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Originally Posted by Depressed in MO

You don' t need to do extra research and all that crap-women have a special spot they liked to be "rubbed"-that's it. So just rub it until she can't sit still (or quiet). Then you will know.

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Hmmm... so this would explain all of the "i can't get off" posts that some women post here? Women who don't know their own anatomy?? I don't think so. Great sex is concerted by the stim of more than one spot on the body, including mental. OBVIOUSLY stim of the c1itoris goes a long way toward reaching that end and much of the time is a primary cause of reaching climax.

So yes, anatomy is pretty basic, but just because step one, two, and three work for you doesn't mean it works for all. I once dated a girl who HATED strong c1itoral stim. And then another who could practically get off in tight jeans. If simply rubbing that area is all that needed to be done, then why have I had to pay attention to the needs and wants of each lover to find out how to pleasure them?

So I think you're oversimplifying the issue... at least for some cases.

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Originally Posted by kp2171

hmmm... so this would explain all of the "i can't get off" posts that some women post here? women who dont know their own anatomy??? i dont think so. great sex is concerted by the stim of more than one spot on the body, including mental. OBVIOUSLY stim of the c1itoris goes a long way toward reaching that end and much of the time is a primary cause of reaching climax.

so yes, anatomy is pretty basic, but just because step one, two, and three work for you doesnt mean it works for all. i once dated a girl who HATED strong c1itoral stim. and then another who could practically get off in tight jeans. if simply rubbing that area is all that needed to be done, then why have i had to pay attention to the needs and wants of each lover to find out how to pleasure them?

so i think you're oversimplifying the issue...at least for some cases.

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"so i think you're oversimplifying the issue...at least for some cases"-I think people overreact on most of these cases. I'm not saying to this guy that this is the only way to do it, I'm simply suggesting something simple or easy for him to start with, which I feel is what he would rather do-before getting "counseling" or whatever like everyone else tells him to do. And by all means, never in any of my posts did I ever say that-that is what worked for me. There are many things that work for me as well as others, but-as previously stated-it's a starter for someone who just asked for simple suggestions in the first place.

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Originally Posted by Depressed in MO

"so i think you're oversimplifying the issue...at least for some cases"-I think people overreact on most of these cases. I'm not saying to this guy that this is the only way to do it, I'm simply suggesting something simple or easy for him to start off with, which I feel is what he would rather do-before getting "counseling" or whatever like everyone else tells him to do. And by all means, never in any of my posts did I ever say that-that is what worked for me. There are many things that work for me as well as others, but-as previously stated-it's a starter for someone who just asked for simple suggestions in the first place.

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"so this would explain all of the "I can't get off" posts that some women post here? women who dont know their own anatomy??? i dont think so."-By the way, these are women who specify that they have been sexually abused in their past, which very well likely justifies why they can't get off...

I can truthfully say that there is nothing simple about my sexuality and being approached as if it were led to a lot of failure before I began to understand that. And sexual failure is never fun. As I got more versed in the wide variances of the sexual world, I discovered there are others like me too - complicated. Now I do understand that for others, some others, it may be simple. But to think it is for everyone is either incredibly naïve or short-sighted.

Why does everyone have to attack people about stupid **** on this site? The dude asked a simple question on how to get his girlfriend off, not about how to get psychotherapy or whatever it is that everyone else suggests (for the most part) I don't give a damn who agrees or disagrees with me, tell your thoughts to the original post, not your opinion on my suggestions because there are no wrong or right answers on here in the first place.
Thank you.

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Originally Posted by Depressed in MO

Why does everyone have to attack people about stupid **** on this site? The dude asked a simple question on how to get his girlfriend off, not about how to get psychotherapy or whatever it is that everyone else suggests (for the most part) I don't give a damn who agrees or disagrees with me, tell your thoughts to the original post, not your opinion on my suggestions because there are no wrong or right answers on here in the first place.
Thank you.

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Wow.

This site is an open forum, open to opinions AND disagreements. I learn more from contrary views than I do from people who say "yes i agree".

You are saying its simpler than we make it to be, and a few say its sometimes more complicated than that. That's it. But anything I post here might be disagreed with. That's OK with me.

I hope its OK with you.

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Originally Posted by kp2171

wow.

this site is an open forum, open to opinions AND disagreements. i learn more from contrary views than i do from people who say "yes i agree".

you are saying its simpler than we make it to be, and a few say its sometimes more complicated than that. thats it. but anything i post here might be disagreed with. thats ok with me.

i hope its ok with you.

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Sure its OK with me, agreeing with someone and disagreeing with someone is fine, but some people's words are a little harsh in regards to the matter... that is all I am saying. You all have given me great advice, things I haven't wanted to hear and things that I liked to hear. But one thing I don't think anyone should put up with is someone else insulting them or their intelligence. I see people here insulting other people's spelling, or language or whatever and quite frankly-its ridiculous. In this case; however, I see people telling me that I'm wrong and that I don't know this or that. There are nicer ways to say things without flat out telling someone they don't know what they are talking about. Anyway, I'm not trying to start another post under the "I can't get my girlfriend off" post. I'm just saying lay off to those who are quick to judge my suggestions-not necessarily my opinion.

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Originally Posted by Depressed in MO

Just do something that you KNOW pleasures her and right in the middle of it look at her and say "Yeah baby, how does that feel?" while you're still rubbing/licking whatever on her...That should get an answer out of her for you.

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Opps... sorry, misread what you said.

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Originally Posted by Depressed in MO

Listen, people are reading too much into this. If you want to know if she is getting off, then just ask her.
And yes, if she is truely at her climax, some noise or indication of that sort will be made, whether it is from her breathing or vocals, you will know. But beware, women can and do fake orgasms.
You don' t need to do extra research and all that crap-women have a special spot they liked to be "rubbed"-that's it. So just rub it until she can't sit still (or quiet). Then you will know.

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I almost agree with you but there is one thing you are very wrong about. If you are rubbing a spot that is making her wiggle and mon that doesn't mean it feels good to her. Sorry but the Cl*t has a certain spot that can get very tender to the point of being painful. If she is shy she's not going to telling him where that G spot is if she even knows where it is. And if she is shy she may not even tell him that he's doing it all wrong to the point that she just wants to reach for the lamp and beat him to death with it. No man can really guess what a woman really wants. It's her responsibility to know her body and tell him, other wise he is just guessing. Because he wants to please her they need to talk about this out of the bed. It may be the only way he can help bring her out of her shell. One last thing... No not all woman can fake an orgasm. I couldn't fake it if my life depended on it, when it happens he knows it with out a doubt!

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Originally Posted by kp2171

ive really never brought a girl to climax this way, but maybe thats just me or the women ive been with. or just me.

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Don't feel bad. The vast majority of women (around 70%) can't climax from
Being pounded; they need direct stimulation of the clitoris to reach orgasm. Since the clitoris is located outside the vaginal opening, it is difficult to stimulate by vaginal intercourse alone. Thank goodness we have hands! LOL

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Originally Posted by Mr. Curious

We both know I reach a climax, but I don't know if she does or even has. How do I approach her on this subject? What should I ask her? Like I said, she's not open about these sexual matters and I don't want to offend her. I'm so curious.

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I think it's totally sweet that you're curious about this! :)

The most tell-tale sign of orgasm is a series of fast, rhythmic contractions of the vagina. Have you ever felt those when you're inside her?

As to the communications issue: if she's shy, she probably won't appreciate a blunt verbal approach, so maybe the next time you have sex, you could just ask her to guide your hand and show you what feels good to her. Should she ask why, you could tell her you're curious.

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Originally Posted by Chery

Believe it or not, we are not all VOCAL. Has it ever dawned on you that those vocal girls you've had just might have faked it? They could have learned all that vocal stuff in movies, but in reality, it's not important.

We women don't always want to hear a 'yeah, baby, that's good' right in the middle, sometimes we just like to enjoy the feeling, and then compliment afterwards with cuddling, kisses, and maybe a cigarette.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gif

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You're a 100% right, not all girls are vocal. I dated a guy recently who always wanted me to be loud, even though I didn't want to, he refused any foreplay, and always wanted to do it with the lights on. Then he had the nerve to tell me I'd never find anyone who was as good at sex as him. Not surprisingly, I never had an orgasm with him. He expected everything to be like a porno. And porn sucks. Those people don't love each other, there is nothing there. I was never even wet with him, he always had to use lube.

Then I'm with a guy now who is super affectionate, he's really slow and does LOTS of foreplay and fingering first, and I love being fingered because penetration really hurts me and if a guy goes too fast or hard I have no enjoyment at all, but he fingers and kisses me and touches me until I'm ready, and he always ALWAYS waits until I take his clothes and boxers off, he never pushes anything on me ever. We're both 18 and I'm his first but he gives me the best sex I have ever had simply because he is so passionate and gentle. However he does the same "No talking" thing, but I used to do that too.

Your girlfriend might just be shy and need time to open up, maybe you could encourage her with some heavy breathing of your own, wait until she follows suit, move up to a small moan or something, and etc. You don't have to bust out an "OH YES BABY!!" randomly in the middle of silent sex, take it gradual.

Also, I would be so freaking pissed if someone wanted to take me to marriage counseling because I was quiet during sex. Don't ever do that, talk to her about it. Just bring it up like the next morning or something, "Did you like what I did last night?" and lead the conversation on. A few times of doing that and you two should at least be a little more comfortable talking about sex

Thread closed.

OP has not been back since July 2006