Ask Me Help Desk - I found Gay Porn on my husbands computer

Quote:

Originally Posted by NewYork123

I dont think any married man should be watching porn and ESSPECIALLY not gay porn- big red flag i am afraid

So women should not watch soap operas... should not read romance novels... and most certainly should not leave their houses without their Burqa and not be seen with unrelated men, You know like the Taliban imposes? Its not far off what you insist men should be doing...

I pity any man involved with a woman that refuses oral or anal (can you say booooooooring)... because they are very pleasurible when someone isn't a closed minded prude. Unless they are equally closed minded they should move on or their sex life will be incredibally dull and boring.

And YES I am qualified to make that statement... I've dated women who were prudes, had all sorts of sexual inhibitions and other issues... and I've dated women with none of those issues... and I did marry a woman that is neither a prude or closed minded. And over 17 years later we still have the sex life we had when we first married... better in fact than we first married and just as frequent (and by that I mean every day).

Men, particularly married men have the right to watch porn... assuming its descrete and not accessible by their children if they have kids.

At no time have men given up any rights to things they enjoy when they get married.

Now this does not include having a squeeze on the side, or fequenting a brothel. Porn does not equal infidelity.

Quote:

Originally Posted by NewYork123

I dont think any married man should be watching porn and ESSPECIALLY not gay porn- big red flag i am afraid

Who are you to judge anyone who uses the word prude with this close minded thinking?

Quote:

Originally Posted by smoothy

Men, particularly married men have the right to watch porn
. . .
At no time have men given up any rights to thinghs they enjoy when they get married.

Now this does not include having a squeeze on the side, or fequenting a brothel.

Smoothy,
How do you (S) decide what rights married men have and don't have in a marriage? Isn't that up to the parties involved to negotiate? Or is this written down somewhere? You seem so certain about this. I'm puzzled where this certainty is coming from.

Also, do you think married men have more rights to porn than unmarried men? Your first sentence seems to imply that: "particularly married men."

I assume you feel the same about women watching or reading porn? I take it from your other posts that your wife reads romance novels. You sound kind of dismissive or disdainful when you talk about that, like you don't respect that option. What if she was instead watching large amounts of porn showing gay (men on men) sex. Would you prefer that or be fine with that?

Quote:

Originally Posted by asking

Smoothy,
How do you (S) decide what rights married men have and don't have in a marriage? Isn't that up to the parties involved to negotiate? Or is this written down somewhere? You seem so certain about this. I'm puzzled where this certainty is coming from.

Also, do you think married men have more rights to porn than unmarried men? Your first sentence seems to imply that: "particularly married men."

I assume you feel the same about women watching or reading porn? I take it from your other posts that your wife reads romance novels. You sound kind of dismissive or disdainful when you talk about that, like you don't respect that option. What if she was instead watching large amounts of porn showing gay (men on men) sex. Would you prefer that or be fine with that?

For one I was responding to a poster that thinks the man has no rights to do anything... ask for anything and she the woman has all the rights to do all the demanding.

And if you see the comments about romance novels... its in the spirit of sarcasm. I know people who do not speak english as a native language might miss that point easily.

What Gets me riled up is someone who is self righteous about refuseing oral and anal... and then getting indignant because her boyfriend, or husband looks at porn.

As a man... and a married one... I make these statements. I am an adult... I work for a living as as a result I have the right to some forms of diversion. Porn being one... and a beer when I want one. I do not believe I have the right as a married man to have a girlfriend on the side or frequent prostitutes for example... Porn is impersonal. And there is no interaction between the parties.

I've dated women that wanted to dictate everything... but contribute nothing... I didn't date them for long.

And Married and Single guys might have different rights. Single guys can bang 5 different women every night if they can get away with it... Married guys gave that up when they married.

As far as watching porn... both have the same rights there. Women are equally fine watching porn or reading it... they have that right as well. Whatever type floats their boat. The exception to that rule being of course kiddie porn... nobody has any business messing with that toxic stuff.

Porn is not chat rooms however... I am not fine with married people and chatrooms unless their spouse is fine with that. Because it involves interacting with others in that environment.

Quote:

Originally Posted by chuff

Who are you to judge anyone who uses the word prude with this close minded thinking?

Lets see... anti-oral... anti-anal... and anti-porn... hmmmmmm

Which party is the one that's closed minded again? Its certainly not me.

Damn I missed out on all the fun the Puritans had... nothing like getting excited over a flash of ankle.

I would not necessarily worry too much about it. I would guess a big part of him viewing this material is strictly curiosity and perhaps some mild fantasizing.

If you question is " is my husband gay?" then my answer is yes or at least bisexual if he is getting sexually stimulated by gay porn.

Do you know for sure that was his porn he downloaded? Could someone else have used his computer?

If the case is no one else used his computer and he was looking at the gay porn then how does that make you feel?

Are you worried? Concerned he'll leave you for a man? Then your answer is time can only tell.

But If your happy in your relationship and sex life... enjoy and quit doubting it because plenty of us women would kill to be happy in ours.