You are young so you probably don't know that you are responsible for your sexual feelings, your own passion, your own orgasmic response... men are a partner in pleasure, and a woman has to be a full partner by knowing her body, communicating her pleasure points, asserting herself sexually, and so on. :)

If you h ave a mind full of blame... you are not approaching sexuality in the right mindset, girl!! Mutual pleasure. :)

Blame? Like how?

Stating "how do men NOT KNOW this" does kind of place the burden on the supposed, and often real, ignorance of us guys.

You've said since that you've told him you aren't responsive but seem a little annoyed that he persists...

But that's kind of like being upset that he likes beer if you don't... he still is going to like it.

Yes, he should try to find middle ground and try not to distract you or annoy you... but as long as you view this as something he does that's not especially positive, you might be making sex less than it could be...

Not to say he should just do what pleases him... but can you turn this into something more than just being present?

So simply letting him have his way isn't what she's talking about... she's saying you need to try to use his fetishes to mentally prime your mind... sure, you might not feel as much as others have mentioned, but you do have an ability to arouse your mind by watching your lover become aroused... right?

I'm all for the direct, physical feeling I have during sex, foreplay, petting, etc... but its amplified by my watching my lovers arousal escalate...

I honestly don't care if he persists, I can't feel anything, but if he wants to do it, it doesn't bother me at all.

I think quite clearly the key thing here is that everyone is different and so it is about finding out what is good for the person that you are with and surely the fun is in the exploring anyway!