I answered the question for her: He's going to be pissed.

I simply also stated the resons why he would be. However, you've been in love with someone other than you're husband and you expect she hasn't cheated? I'll leave it at that but really don't be so nieve.

Kitty- she said she tried to tell him that she doesn't love him, but that doesn't mean it changed his thinking. She also said that he said it was just a phase. He still thinks everythings all fine and dandy.

ANSWER to the Original Question: Best you can hope for is he doesn't go off the chain. You're going to be the villain in the divorce, you're going to stand to lose the most in the split as you have the other party involved whom you are in love with. You are going to hurt him, he is going to be pissed, and there's nothing more you can hope for. He'll try to put you through hell for you living this lie for so long. It's that simple.

I think you owe it to your spouse to be honest. Look, you can take some advice and suggestions but at the end of the day it comes down to you 20 years is a long time but why put yourself through that if your not happy?It's not fair to you nor him. If you found your soulmate then you already know what your next step is going to be then... right? If I found my soulmate I would risk it all. Some people may not understand but as long as your happy and your with the person you truly love then nothing else matters. Hope this helps :)

Closed.