Sexual maturity has nothing to do with being the least bit culpible in this. Just because he has the physical maturity to get an erection doesn't mean he bore any responsibility whatsoever.

Would you say that a 11 or 12 year old girl would be responsible for seducing an adult man just because she had entered puberty? I think not. Teenagers are suceptible to being manipulated by older more experienced individuals... man or woman doesn't matter. That's why there are laws about statutory rape on the books.

And statutory rape happens far more often than gets reported.

It may seem like an odd coincidence that both your boyfriend and ex- shared this tragic experience, but it is sadly all too common. I believe they see in you a compassionate person that felt safe in confiding in. That does say a lot. Many men never tell. So it may actually be the start of healing that they have spoken up.

I would encourage you to keep being supportive, and not worry too much about pushing toward church, or even counseling. Better the door stay open & things stay positive than to have them feel pushed or betrayed.

I think it benefits men to be re-reminded IT WAS NOT THEIR FAULT! And that sadly, they are not alone. 1in6.org is a supportive site. And "Twice Forgiven" by Michael Reagan is a good book for you or them. You can see even from this thread that some are condemning to the victim. (? ) Stand with your friends. Protect their privacy and protect them from people who would criticize or be insensitive.

Is there any chance of prosecution? I'm a big believer in having these perpetrators charged when possible. You should check that out for them (maybe call a rape crisis line in your area just to gather information -- DON'T tell THEM to call. They won't & it could be discouraging or embarassing)

God does see, and He does care. Your BF & EX may one day be able to see that although people fail us -- sometimes in ways as bad as this -- but God is faithful and He can heal and restore. Maybe they will even have a role in the future in preventing or working with a young victim. God bless.