Moorgus
If the only thing lacking in your relationship is the intimacy then maybe its time to find someone who wants to be more intimate. I don't mean to sound rude but your almost 40 years old, it sounds like you want to be married one day, I would start looking for a partner who wants the same things. Life is to short to settle and if you care about sex and kissing and touching then why shouldn't it be important to the person with you. I know that I couldn't be with my fiancé if what I cared about didn't matter to him. You need to find someone who cares about what you do and is wanting the same thing. It stinks to move on and find another person but sometimes it's the only option. Another option would be stop begging, stop talking about it, and maybe she will realize she cares more than she thinks. Its kind of like you don't realize what you have till its gone. If you just completely leave her alone she might come to you.

Wow, those are interesting posts, that girl is lame. I don't know if you are still looking for suggestions and what not, but I am a female and I think sex is extremely important. Not only for pleasure, but it's important in feeling that connection and closeness with your significant other. I dated a man for three years and towards the end we hardly ever had sex, nore did we kiss or anything. He was a drug user and an emotional wreck, but still I understand the position you are in and it's extremely frustrating and I apologize that you have to deal with that.

I would highly doubt that it is the birth control, I have never heard of that side effect, but you could always suggest that she try a different form of birth control, or she could just get off it for a while since you aren't having sex anyway, and use condoms in the meantime.

Otherwise some therapy might be beneficial, have you asked her how sexual she was in past relationships? Has she had some trauma in her life that would cause her to avoid sexual contact? Does she seem happy in general? You mentioned everything else was great, but depression can contribute to weakened sex drive.

If you looked at her medications, which I see being the most common reason, then she should really see a doctor again. Maybe it doesn't seem to matter to her because it's been so long since she's felt that desire, and has become used to it, you know what I mean?
I would investigate her past a bit. There are like 2% of people out there that don't have any sexual feelings, but I guess we don't need to go that far haha.

I'm sorry I'm not a doctor and I can't give you better advice, all that I know is while people say "sex isn't everything", it still is a big issue because it matters to you. And although you love her, think about the longevity of this situation. All I know is now that I am dating someone else I am having plenty of sex, and I couldn't be happier. It's important. I'm not suggesting you end the relationship necessarily, but you have to make her understand you are in this too and she should care about your feelings. You are just going to have to take extreme steps in order to get to the bottom of this.

I am a 20 year old man with a 20 year old girlfriend in college and I thought I had it bad for only getting it on every week or so. I have to beg for it to get it that often, I am convinced it is her birth control because we were having intercourse every day before she was on it. I am tiered of always begging and pleading and her having no interest in it at all even when we do it. Everything I do bothers her when it comes to intimacy. I do feel like sex plays at least a moderate role in a relationship as well. Look on the bright side though man, it might be the birth control

I am completely against people with mismatched sex drives being together. Myself being one of these people, I can tell you that it's no way to live. I'd rather be alone than be with someone who had zero sexual desire for me. In fact, I am in the process of breaking up with someone over it right now. Yes, we have a great relationship outside sex but guess what, that's called a FRIENDSHIP. Yes it's a good friendship but I have other female friends and the level of friendship is identical except for the fact we have sex here and there. We don't make out passionately or anything like that. We've already had umpteen discussions over it and she has acknowledged that she has very little sexual desire for me so essentially, I'm just keeping her company while she can proudly say she has a boyfriend. Not for me. We will make good friends but that's really it.

NO SEX = FRIENDSHIP

PERIOD!

JR Mason, if she is on the NuvaRing, that's definitely the cause. My ex had the same issue... once she got of it, it got a lot better!

This thread is OVER a year old.

Closed.