Quote:

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Originally Posted by Choux

I'm really glad to hear you post this, Steph. :)

I felt you were a girl who was looking for closeness and mind intimacy with a man...and went about this in the wrong way....by assuming the role of great f**ker, ya big phoney! :D

IN order to be happy and have REAL relationships, you have to start with your authentic self, not an assumed role, and build what you want from life based on who you are and what you desire.

Life is so much better if you let people see your real self, and you are truly loved and or cared for.

Best wishes, :)

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You're right. I definitely went about it in the wrong way! Just wanted experience first, but realized I rather be with someone who likes me more than in a sexual way.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by steph86

You're right. I definitely went about it in the wrong way! Just wanted experience first, but realized I rather be with someone who likes me more than in a sexual way.

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Exactly once you start something it often ends up being a habit or a pattern that can be hard to break and fix.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by steph86

smoothy,

what do you mean? What is the problem? I wrote that I realized what I did before was the wrong thing for me. It was just a destructive way of getting attention cause I wasn't very happy at the time. But now I feel much better :) So why do you say I need counselling?

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What I mean by that... and its not meant in a mean way. Is that you are quick to jump to conclusions and just as quick to discard advice that may not seem to you to be what you wish to hear at that time. With certain conditions or even when you get hyper focused on something you will not see the problem someone on the outside sees, like having on blinders ( like the old saying of not being able to see the forest for all the trees). That's where a counceller has an advantage. They are able to look at the situation, judge your body language, what you say and how you say it and because they aren't directly involved they can see this in a truly objective fashion. Seeing a counceller does not mean you are a mental deficient or nuts at all. Sometimes a person can get so far off the road they lose site of just where it is and get lost. They can provide guidance in helping you find your way back in a manner of speaking.

It sucks when a person radically changes the original post.

An option in the future... if you want the thread closed, you can ask for that... but you've used AMHD resources to get answers you didn't care for and then altered the original post so much that it isn't going to help anybody else who might come along. Kind of screws with the site.

Second, don't be too offended if people talk about counseling. As a person who thinks I can handle everything on my own, I don't like asking for help. Giving advice? Fine. That said after talking to a counselor a few years back when going through some depression, it really can help. Its somewhat is the same spirit as coming here and asking for advice.

People can work through some terrible things on their own, but that doesn't mean they need to. If someone mentions talking to a professional, it isn't people saying you are "broken" and its not meant to offend you.

Yeah sometimes it really pays to use the quote button

Apparently, I saw the revised version. So, I guess that makes many of the answers appear off point. That doesn't mean they aren't stand alone great answers.

? Oh well.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Choux

I'm really glad to hear you post this, Steph. :)

I felt you were a girl who was looking for closeness and mind intimacy with a man...and went about this in the wrong way....by assuming the role of great f**ker, ya big phoney! :D

IN order to be happy and have REAL relationships, you have to start with your authentic self, not an assumed role, and build what you want from life based on who you are and what you desire.

Life is so much better if you let people see your real self, and you are truly loved and or cared for.

Best wishes, :)

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NO you hit it right on target Choux. Besides how could you go wrong with a reply like that! :D

This has amusingly turned into an internal discussion - kind of like an office coffee chat --

Good to AMHD pow-wow on occasion :-)