Ask Me Help Desk - Husband's sexual behavior has changed

A lot of good wives and mothers do "Freaky stuff" to keep things interesting, and you would be surprised at how many of your friends likely do. But that's between husband and wife alone... I've dated some women that were painful bores in bed. And I was trying to be nice with that desription.

However its always mutual. I agree he shouldn't be calling her that unless its in the right context and moment (and that is key to it meaning good or bad things) as well as her being fine with it. They have to find a happy medium that both are fine with or its not going to work, and there has to be the element of respect... not just by one, but by both..

You are totally right smoothy.
Apparently, the OP does not like to be rough during sex and that's where the husband messed up. He expects his wife to perform like a porn star. That's wrong.

Sound like a job for a professional relationship counselor. With my armchair-psychologist perspective he's got resentment issues he needs help with that probably stems from out side your sex life that your not going to be able to help him with, with out the aid of a pro.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE

You are totally right smoothy.
Apparently, the OP does not like to be rough during sex and that's where the husband messed up. He expects his wife to perform like a porn star. That's wrong.

Exactly... whatever they do has to be mutual. Some people , men and women get into S&M (not me and my wife however, ugh!)... but its got to be something both like.

Quote:

Originally Posted by sadwiife507

My husband and I have been married for 14 years. We have one child together. When we were first married and dating our sex life was unbelieveable. He was very in tune with my needs and took as much time as he needed for both of us to fully enjoy our imtimate times together.

I didn't know about how bad his porn use was until we got the internet at home 9 years ago. He said he would stop after we talked about it and for the past 9 years he has tried to hide it from me. The past year he has now begun to go to "friendship" sites like myspace and yearbook. He talks with women he doesn't know. It got so bad with one women he was telling her he loved her and we almost divorced over it.

Now his porn viewing has gone from looking at "blowjobs, handjobs" to BSMD and when he does want to have sex with me he is very rough and disrespectful. For the past three years he has been unable to maintain erections with me. The only way he can reach an orgasim is being rough with the sex.

If there is any forplay the deal is off all together. He tells me I need to be his "whore" ready to do what ever he wants when he wants or there will be no sex.

He's messed up!! And It's not fair to you... go to a counselor on your own first.. and let HIM know what you are going through. (I said Him, because if you get your husband to go with you, he will not identify with a woman telling him to straighten up, it will sound better from a man) Things do change over time... but if you are in it for the long haul.. YOU have to take the initiative to show him that YOU want change.
Everyone changes... that's life... but if he really loves you... and you love him.. It can be worked out. Pray and be faithful and strong.