Org,

Maybe you should stop tormenting yourself... some people are damaged in youth by their parents and religion, and they are a-sexual... that is, they just don't have sexual urges, th idea of sex is not pleasant. Nothing wrong with that... it was done to them.

Direct your energy to something that makes you happy and is creative like music or art. Find an outlet for yourself that will simply make for happiness. :) Sex brings you misery... let it go... move on to happiness. :)

Best wishes in 2008

Org,

I feel for you, I really do. Have you always felt this way about sex, or was there ever a time when you enjoyed it? I know that I went through a time in my life when sex was just a chore that I had to do, it was shortly after the birth of my son. I had absolutely no sexual desire, this lasted for a year. When I finally started feeling better about it I approached hubby, it was hard, things had been so stressful between us for that year that it felt like we were starting from scratch. We talked allot and that helped, also he was very understanding which also helped. Does your hubby know how you feel?

Remember, any time you want to talk, I'm here, we're here, you have an entire site at your disposal, so use it and talk it through, maybe we can all find a solution.

Take care sweetie.

Sorry if this has been mentioned or asked before. I just don't remember. Have you ever had professional therapy on this topic. If you haven't perhaps its worth a try because what you could gain from it would be well worth it.

Before I would tell you to resign yourself to a life without real enjoyment in that area I would try all avenues available to you first. Hopefully it will be something that can see improvement.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Altenweg

Org,

I feel for you, I really do. Have you always felt this way about sex, or was there ever a time when you enjoyed it? I know that I went through a time in my life when sex was just a chore that I had to do, it was shortly after the birth of my son. I had absolutely no sexual desire, this lasted for a year. When I finally started feeling better about it I approached hubby, it was hard, things had been so stressful between us for that year that it felt like we were starting from scratch. We talked allot and that helped, also he was very understanding which also helped. Does your hubby know how you feel?

Remember, any time you want to talk, I'm here, we're here, you have an entire site at your disposal, so use it and talk it through, maybe we can all find a solution.

Take care sweetie.

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I have no idea what there is to enjpoy about sex, it's the only thing that we do such as a cuddle that means we are close, but as for feeling anything else then no it feels of nothing for me, not a thing, its always been this way I have never known any differently. I thought it was totally normal, until we talked about this 3 yrs back when things had been explained better to me. I really feel alien in this body, I feel a disgrace and a let down to be called female, basically I feel a fraud.

As for hubby knowing how I feel he hears me talk, but that's totally differently than for him understanding and listening isn't it? He has nothing ot offer me regarding help, he just hopes that's all that suddenly things will get better just like that with as little effort from him as possible, so far everything that we have ever done to change this situation has been on my doing, its been me doing all the research and book finding etc etc it was me that saw all the doctors, he's attended when required but that's been it, oh I forgot he once saw an advert for zestra that's his only I'm put in al this time, apart from the actual having sex bit, which he gets a lot out of. Guess you can tell I'm upset about it at this time but hey what the hell I will survive I always do.

Yes we have been to sex therapy but she had us doing sensate focus, I hated every last minute of it and I had huge panick attacks as I froze completely when it became my turn to do something to him but only things that interested me, that's how it works apparently, that was meant to happen for a few weeks, months later we had never moved on as this happened every single time and she never listened to a word we told her, eventually we stopped going as it was a waste of time.

I'm so sorry. I really don't know what to tell you. I'm going to do some research and see if I can help you find a solution, but I don't know if I'll find anything worthwhile. Don't give up, sometimes just talking about it helps, and that's why we're here, to listen.

Take care dear.