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-   -   Is she selfish? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=203982)

  • Apr 11, 2008, 12:35 PM
    innerJag
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by kp2171
    dont say most women hate giving oral. from posts here at AMHD, about half like it, half hate it. and my experience is a woman better enjoys giving head if she gets it first.

    way to put ALL the blame on him. really? hes a pr!ck because he spends time on her and she wont do right by him???

    mkay. guess hes the jerk who cares so much he takes care of her and then asks for something in return. man... what an arse!!!!!! the nerve of the guy....


    come on don't be so delusional, most women hate giving head just like most men hate eating a chick out, because the ONLY reason why women and men do it anyway is because they enjoy pleasing their partners. So, YES, most women prefer not to do it. Is that worded better?


    as for putting blame on him, well, that's not my intent but it starts there. If someone has a problem with another's actions they should first look at themselves then begin working outward. The guy could have a very bad smell, you don't know that, he might not even know that. So by starting with himself he can give a better evaluation on the topic. "why won't she give me head?" that question mainly deals with him and not her. He's got the problem not her. His problem is his desire to receive head. She's not in here asking why can't she give more head to him. She should be taken out of the equation until he can figure things out.
  • Apr 11, 2008, 12:43 PM
    talaniman
    Quote:

    come on don't be so delusional, most women hate giving head just like most men hate eating a chick out, because the ONLY reason why women and men do it anyway is because they enjoy pleasing their partners. So, YES, most women prefer not to do it. Is that worded better?
    I disagree, as there are post here that tell a very different story.

    Quote:

    she should be taken out of the equation until he can figure things out.
    He will figure out nothing, if they don't talk about it. That's where it lies in talking and listening. If it's a matter of deodorant, he will never know, until she says something.
  • Apr 11, 2008, 12:43 PM
    Synnen
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by innerJag
    come on don't be so delusional, most women hate giving head just like most men hate eating a chick out, because the ONLY reason why women and men do it anyway is because they enjoy pleasing their partners. So, YES, most women prefer not to do it. is that worded better?


    as for putting blame on him, well, that's not my intent but it starts there. if someone has a problem with another's actions they should first look at themselves then begin working outward. the guy could have a very bad smell, you don't know that, he might not even know that. so by starting with himself he can give a better evaluation on the topic. "why won't she give me head?" that question mainly deals with him and not her. he's got the problem not her. his problem is his desire to receive head. she's not in here asking why can't she give more head to him. she should be taken out of the equation until he can figure things out.

    I disagree. I like giving head, and so do most of the women I know who enjoy their own sexuality.

    You're right... he MIGHT smell down there. But I'm betting the problem is that she's not giving back as much as she's getting.

    The REAL problem here though is that she will not communicate with him WHY she will not, even though he has asked her. Sounds like the problem is her and not him, since he's at least TRYING to open communications about it.
  • Apr 11, 2008, 12:48 PM
    smoothy
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Synnen
    I disagree. I like giving head, and so do most of the women I know who enjoy their own sexuality.

    You're right....he MIGHT smell down there. But I'm betting the problem is that she's not giving back as much as she's getting.

    The REAL problem here though is that she will not communicate with him WHY she will not, even though he has asked her. Sounds like the problem is her and not him, since he's at least TRYING to open communications about it.

    I agree with Synnen...

    Its simple.. have him wash right before going at it... me and my wife both always wash up before having at it. Never an issue of odor that way.

    She sounds like she has issues. Could be for any number of reasons. If she won't talk all we have to go on are wild guesses.
  • Apr 11, 2008, 03:06 PM
    kp2171
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by innerJag
    come on don't be so delusional, most women hate giving head just like most men hate eating a chick out, because the ONLY reason why women and men do it anyway is because they enjoy pleasing their partners. So, YES, most women prefer not to do it. is that worded better?

    I absolutely promise you I do not hate giving oral on a woman who is clean, and most are. The vagina naturally cleanses itself and is actually cleaner than most mouths. I don't find it distasteful or nasty one bit concerning the physical act and ignoring the partners pleasure. While it's a different issue if she is "off balance", the act itself is given a bad rap by people who perpetuate schoolyard myths. Oral on a clean woman can smell and taste great. Ill leave the delusional myths and bad jokes to the 5th graders and like-minded.

    As for the woman going down on the man, I will agree more don't find the ejaculate pleasing in taste or smell, and that oral on the man isn't a substitute for the connection of intercourse... but you were the one that said women hate giving oral. Some do. Some don't. If you hate the physical act of giving oral, and are with women who hate giving it, maybe you've been with the wrong women.

    But now were getting off topic.
  • Apr 12, 2008, 03:20 PM
    plonak
    Hey so how did it go? Did you end things? Did you talk to her?
  • Apr 12, 2008, 04:50 PM
    Homegirl 50
    Maybe she just does not like or want to do that. That is her prerogative. The problem is that she will not discuss the matter with you, but as long as you keep giving anyway, why would she talk about it.
    It sounds as though the two of you are sexually incompatible, in which case if it is that much of an issue with you, you need to leave the relationship.
  • Apr 17, 2008, 03:33 PM
    Alan90
    Ok, to anyone who is interested I took her out for a drive and pulled over and told her we were not leaving until she talked to me about my problem. Seems a bit drastic but I felt it was the only way I could get her to talk.

    After a long talk she told me the reason she takes but rarely gives is because she just can't really be bothered.. :(

    Although whether this is true or not I have yet to find out she says she will make more of an effort when we have sex. I've not seen her for a week since we spoke (I fly helicopters in the army and I've been on a training exercise for the last week) I see her tomorrow so I'll see what happens.

    Thanks for all the advice :)
  • Apr 17, 2008, 03:53 PM
    Homegirl 50
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Alan90
    Ok, to anyone who is interested I took her out for a drive and pulled over and told her we were not leaving until she talked to me about my problem. seems a bit drastic but i felt it was the only way i could get her to talk.

    after a long talk she told me the reason she takes but rarely gives is because she just can't really be bothered.. :(

    although whether this is true or not i have yet to find out she says she will make more of an effort when we have sex. ive not seen her for a week since we spoke (I fly helicopters in the army and ive been on a training exercise for the last week) i see her tomorrow so i'll see what happens.

    thanks for all the advice :)

    Well that should tell you something. She does not care about doing it, and she should not have to. If it is really important to you then you need to find someone who share the same sexual desires as you.
  • Apr 17, 2008, 04:37 PM
    talaniman
    Quote:

    she just can't really be bothered.. :(
    Then neither should you.
  • Apr 17, 2008, 05:31 PM
    KateBell88
    I feel for you but I completely know how she is feeling - I don't feel comfortable with oral either but it has nothing to do with my boyfriend. We have great sex and I try to please him in other ways to make up for it. I would suggest to her something else you like, take the sex slow, ask her to get on top. For example, my boyfriend loves back scratches so I do that when he's getting close and he loves it.

    Bottom line - don't take it personally.

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