Abuse isn't just physical... it can be emotional too and that's the sort this appears to be. You don't have to have physical bruises to be abused.Quote:
Originally Posted by melissa0819
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Abuse isn't just physical... it can be emotional too and that's the sort this appears to be. You don't have to have physical bruises to be abused.Quote:
Originally Posted by melissa0819
I know. I really don't have anyone else... and nowhere safe 2 go... so for now this is the best place ithink.
Please don't become submissive under his wants. You are important in your relationship too, not just him.You ALSO have feelings, wants, needs and desires, not just him.
Have you ever tried making a homemade sex tape? That way you both can watch each other, he is getting his porn and you aren't getting upset with him looking at other women.
No we hav'nt but i've hinted at it... but he don't want 2 i don't think. Id have 2 do it alone... then give it to him .i'd b scared he'd put it on the internet.
Well, regardless of how many excuses you feel the need to use, this relationship is not healthy. It's going to end horribly for you and your child unless you get out now. If you don't really want help then why ask for it?
I do want help... its sooo hard 2 just walk away
Well, were all telling you that's what needs to be done. And you are making excuses not to do it. Ultimately you are going to do what you are going to do. But we have spoken.
Well trust me its normal for a guy to like porn but he is married and most of all he has children so just tell him if he wants to stay with you to stop looking at porn it is not a good life style for your kids to go through and if you know what's best for you don't let your children knowQuote:
Originally Posted by melissa0819
Well of course she witll never know... and he's told me if I do say choose me it it hey would just do it behind my back... I know its normal. But not like he does it. If I could just not care about it we'd b OK. No matter how I feel about it.
The problem you have with it is normal, you not caring about it isn't going to help the situation. Him being an @ss hole is what's the problem!
I'm sorry about my last post. I am supposed to be objective and I wasn't. I apologize if I hurt your feelings or was too forward. I am going to leave this post.
Please stop the chat speak.
You are an ADULT> Type like one, or I will delete further posts. This is an adults only board, and only kids HAVE to use chat speak. I can't understand (nor do I want to make the effort to understand) when you don't type out what you actually mean.
That being said--LISTEN to yourself. Do you want your little girl to be the same kind of woman, using the same kind of excuses for staying with a jerk that you are? That's what you're teaching her right now, you know. It's okay to stay with someone who doesn't care about you and who is mean to you as long as you LOVE them, and they say they LOVE you.
Would you want your daughter in the relationship you're in? She will be, if you don't find the courage to leave. I understand that it's scary, and that it's hard---but if he's really the kind of guy you're saying he is, then your best bet is to LEAVE. Pack up a few things you can't live without, and get yourself to the local women's shelter.
Think about what you're teaching your daughter is okay. THINK about it. History repeats itself, and if you don't teach her that NO ONE has to be treated badly because of "love", then she'll end up with some jerk who knocks her up, treats her like crap, and keeps her around to do the maid things around the house, while he looks at porn.
There is a point at which you choose to be a "victim"...
His actions are offensive to you. The fear of being alone are what's keeping you with him. If there were another kind, caring man ready to love you right now, you would step back, right?
So... time to decide what's acceptable. If you choose to stay, you accept it. If you choose to leave, you choose it.
You are not powerless. I wish you peace, love, and happiness.
As the man who married a woman who was a single mother for 13 years... I can tell you... sometimes its worth the work, struggle, and fear. My wife accepted nothing less than a healthy, loving marriage for her and her child.
Most relationships have some areas of conflict. I'm not going to tell you what is right or wrong for you. But at some point, we all must decide to accept or live with the conflict.
Personally... I think you are stronger than you think. I've had the fear of being alone, being by myself hit me so hard it was numbing.
And then I got over it.
I really don't think he is going to change. You've confronted him. Begged him. Its not happening.
So time for you to take control... whatever that means, only you get to decide.
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