Ask Me Help Desk - Would you have sex with me?

Flower, did he actually "ask her to sleep with him" or "ask her if she would sleep with him"? Notice the difference in verbage? If it was the latter, I would chalk it up to insecurity and needing to feel desirable. Unknown to most people, woman especially, men have the need to feel attractive too. Just how woman dress to go out with the girls, knowing damn well it is provocative, but no harm no foul. THe woman wants to feel hot, she wants to feel desired. COMPLETELY NORMAL! Especially in relationships where one partner is not as forthcomin with the compliments as they should be. BUt no matter how much you shower your mate with affection and "you look amazing" comments he/she will sometimes always want to know hat you aren't the only one and that he/she still "has it". My wife is this way. I tell her all the time she is hot, beautiful, cute, sexy, etc. but I understand that she still gets a kick or a rise out of a guy hitting on her at the bar, or a guy "eyef**king" her at the beach. It is just human nature. We are vain. We want to know we got it. So, if he asked in the latter terms, let it go. If it was the otherway, it is a whole different story. Hope I helped. Take care!

Hey thanks wewed100606 - its was the latter one - if it was the first one I don't I would be sitting where I am now, as I see the difference in question.
We had a chat and I know I over reacted but my husband said I had all the right to feel the way I did - its only human nature.

Talaniman also - there is no need to be sarcastic!
I don't need counselling - I was upset and from everywhere on the post - they believed I had all the right to be!

Flower, you definitely had the right to be defensive! However, being upset about something like that is natural, but really not a healthy reaction. If you get really upset like that it is stemming form your insecurity in the relationship somewhere else. Just know that things like that are surely going to happen throughout your married life, just natural reassurance. It doesn't mean that whichever of you does it would act on it, or even is thinking or fantasizing about it. It is just a self esteem boost! I hope this whole thing helped open up some good dialogue between you and your hubby! YOu got to be able to talk about these things openly without judgement... even laugh about them. I used to tell my wife to go hit on other guys at the bar who looked like they were having a rough night. Itmade me smile to see her getting some positive attention from someone else, and it also made me feel like a stud when she left with me at the end of the night when three other guys were trying ;-) Just make sure your love is strong and you guys are secure and everything else can get made into a game and fun dares and challenges. Doesn't it make you feel good to know that other woman think your husband is good looking and attractive?

Much love little flower!

Yes we are both secure and we do funny things at a bar like also and have a laugh.

What hurt me was she was a 'friend'
But hey I haven't spoken to her in 1 yr now so its not like we have to see her.
Thanks xx

Quote:

Originally Posted by flower81

yes we are both secure and we do funny things at a bar like also and have a laugh.

What hurt me was she was a 'friend'
But hey i havnt spoken to her in 1 yr now so its not like we have to see her.
Thanks xx

Don't sweat it... me and my wife say stuff like that all the time... about people we do know and people we don't.

But that was between us... Neither of us actually asked them to do this...