Ask Me Help Desk - Am I an object or is this normal?

He's a pervert and an abuser for talking to her about his fantasies?

Jeesh... if that's the case, my husband has been abusing me for YEARS. Of course, I've abused him back.

It has already been stressed that she should not do anything SHE is not comfortable with. That's HER judgement call, not OURS.

She asked if it was normal--we all gave our opinions on that.

Let us PLEASE refrain from making her feel that sex is a dirty, awful, thing that should only be done missionary style under the blankets in the dark at night.

What is good sex is defined by each couple. I DARE you to defy that.

Just because YOU may not like it (and I'm referring to anyone who may respond to this) does NOT mean it's "wrong", "dirty" or "abuse". Some people get off on humiliation--though I'm not one of them, and neither is the OP.

She has to decide what's right for her. She doesn't need US telling her what's right for her, or what's WRONG, either. Making people feel guilty about sex isn't going to help anyone.

Thanks for the post.

I've been up your arse lately cause I thought too many posts lately were about "woman good, man bad"...

Nice to see this.

Too many times I think we label a person as a victim when they are considering crossing a line sexually. It's a normal part of understanding ones self.

And fantasies... God help us if we are to be judged by them.

But then again, I KNOW I'm an irish, ill-tempered, self-righteous pr!ck who likes to have the last word. ;)

Its true.

I'll buy next round.

Up my arse? I hadn't noticed, honestly.

I generally only respond to a thread if I have my own opinion on it, or occasionally to offer a differing view from the prevailing view of a thread, or if a thread is getting out of hand.

I tend not to take anything personally, unless someone says, "Synnen, you're an idiot" or something to that effect.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Synnen

Up my arse? I hadn't noticed, honestly.

Hmmm... trying to think if I should be insulted... if I was, you should known it. ;) at least you could fake some moaning... maybe a "daddy, yes!!!" wouldn't be too much to expect? ;)

Going to bed now.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Choux

She's a young, inexperienced girl. A girl's dream is not to be abused, it is to be loved and cared for, and it is certainly not her responsibility to make her boyfriend's(sexual predator)dreams come true....dreams of abuse!!

There is a big difference between a 20 year old woman who is just starting her adult life and a 35 year old woman who has overcome naivete about life and, also, has developed her sexual tastes!!

Cordially,

RE: Being more tactful...

If you think she is *too young* (an assumption that it is not your prerogative to make) why would you be so blunt in what seems a deliberate attempt to upset the woman!

If you read her earlier reply, you'd see he is 21 and she is 20! You haven't attempted to seek any further information before branding her boyfriend as a "sexual preditor" and talking about "sexual abuse"!

Guys, try not to take my thoughts, which are directed to the questioner, *personally*. If you do, then you pretty much add misinterpretations and draw conclusions that I never said or meant!!

Thanks!

Cordially,