I'm sick of posts where when a woman is being denied sex she's stuck with a loser, yet when a man is denied sex he's the pushy, inconsiderate jerk.

Bull$hit.

Yes... the burden of pregnant is a huge thing that we men don't have to deal with directly.

But if you are an ADULT and wish to engage in an adult relationship then sex is something that should be addressed fairly... meaning why should he be the only one working his arse off here?? Seems to me that he's trying to be a giving lover and a good mate all around.

We complicate sex too damn much for our own good... and it's a great thing to be able to control your sexual urges and to channel it into a positive, healthy relationship. Its good to be able to hold back when its needed.

I don't think anything you've posted says otherwise... and the tone that sometimes prevails in posts like this pi$$ me off.

Bad man. Bad, bad guy.

What a crock. How many women here write in about having a lover who is more of a girlfriend or roommate?

Nobody needs to respond to this. You don't have to rate me. Or do. I don't care.

Just lets stop with the soft gloves when a girl isn't getting it, and lets stop assuming he's just another horny jerk. Or not. Others people opinions are theirs too, I guess... yuk.

I'm in a mood now, I guess.

Yeah... on second read though, I'm probably just in a mood.

KP--you have some good points.

I DO try to be fair. Honest. Frankly, it wasn't the fact that he was a guy and she was a girl that bothered me--it was the shortness of their relationship and the age difference.

But--I fully respect your right to be in a mood! I have them all the time and get p1ssy on the boards too. Welcome to my little world! Want some coffee? :)

Just sounds like your girlfriend is crazy. Get a new one.

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Originally Posted by hottie_bec

disagrees: i dont think you need to comment if you have no experience on true love. i pity your partner cause it seems like you would 'run' if you dont get 'some'!!.

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I don't think you need to comment unless you have a degree in psychology then hottie_bec. I am in a very healthy relationship thank you very much. I think a girl that wants to have sex with you only when you are a total stranger and its purly sexual, but then once he falls in love with you turns sex into a burden, is CRAZY. Why was she ready to have sex all the time when that's all the relationship entailed. And now that he's in love, all of a sudden she only has sex when she's drunk. I've been with girls like that before, who feel bad when they have sex, and that's not healthy. Almost always they have mental disorders, and I am lucky now to have a mentally stable girl friend and I DO know what true love is. I think you just like to disagree with people when you don't know what they are talking about because you are highly emotional and don't use your brain. Girls should quit thinking they have a monopoly on romance and love. Guys are just as capable, if not more so than females, to be romantic and have non sex-centered feelings of love to their partner. Look at the posts above about the double standards.

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Originally Posted by the_fly

There's something that I forgot to add to my situation and I feel like a bit of a fool for not mentioning it before (although i was worried about her seeing this) because this might have a lot to do with it, but when I first brought up the issue of sex with her and wondering why she wasn't interested; she broke down into tears and hung onto me for dear life. She explained that sex makes her really nervous because of one night last summer (before we met), she was returning to her friends house when a man approached her and tried to be "forceful" with her. She screamed and he ran as people came to her attention. She says ever since then, it's something she's always been nervous about - not so much disinterested - but nervous.

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WHAT? You failed to mention this "detail"? What do you think the problem is?:confused:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by the_fly

There's something that I forgot to add to my situation and I feel like a bit of a fool for not mentioning it before (although i was worried about her seeing this) because this might have a lot to do with it, but when I first brought up the issue of sex with her and wondering why she wasn't interested; she broke down into tears and hung onto me for dear life. She explained that sex makes her really nervous because of one night last summer (before we met), she was returning to her friends house when a man approached her and tried to be "forceful" with her. She screamed and he ran as people came to her attention. She says ever since then, it's something she's always been nervous about - not so much disinterested - but nervous.

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That's a BIG thing to forget... Get the poor girl into counseling... it will help her deal with the very real fears of what almost happened that day.

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Originally Posted by Xrayman

WHAT? you failed to mention this "detail"? What do you think the problem is?:confused:

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Maybe that's the problem, forgeting the small details that have big consequences. This little detail has changed the whole post. Had to spread the rep -X-

.[/QUOTE]I have decided after feedback from here, that we both are in love and I will stand by her and be patient with her. We have a brilliant life together otherwise, I refuse to become that jerk of a pressuring boyfriend to her, I will not allow this to break us down. If it's still the same in 6 months time, then we can deal with it down the line; I'm not throwing this away because I'm only having sex every 7-10 days and want more. I need to understand her needs as well as mine too - she's not feeling good about herself just now, and her cycle/hormones are all over the place; I should be a stronger person for her I feel.[/QUOTE]

That's very sweet. I hope my man is like that but unfortunately he pressured me to give him sex or head everyday. Sex wasn't an issue for me on my past relationship but it suddenly changed when I'm with him because he has a high sex drive and kind of weird in bed that turns me off. Give her a time for sure someday she will realize what are your needs. Just let her know how you feel but don't force her.

Since you are so committed to this woman, have you considered marriage? Many sexual hang-ups with young women are often related to body image problems, the wrongness they feel of having un-married sex and to the possibility of pregnancy. You said you try to attend church together. Well, most religions think that pre-marital sex is taboo. Do you think that maybe she is feeling guilty/sinful? She may or may not be able to communicate her problems to you, but I hope you try to keep an open dialogue with her. Remember that even though she was your little sex kitten at one time, something happened to change her attitude about sex (a spiritual change or struggle or a pregnancy or pregnancy scare). Talk to her not about you and her having sex, but about her views on God, pre-marital sex, unwanted pregnancies, and marital sex. Maybe by not directly linking your conversation to her low sex drive you may find the true root of her aversion to sex.

The OP hasn't been back to the site in nearly a year.

Please check dates before responding.

Thread closed.