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-   -   What counts as losing your virginity? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=100963)

  • Jul 27, 2007, 10:32 AM
    GlindaofOz
    For some reason teenagers seem to think that if they don't orgasm or if sex does blow the top of their head off that its not really sex. I don't get that.

    As others have said if a penis enters a vagina that is sex. Even if it was one time for one second. Virginity is gone.

    Granted as JesusHelper said if it is forcibly taken from you I believe wholeheartedly you may take back your virginity in order to give it willingly to someone you love.
  • Jul 27, 2007, 10:47 AM
    smoothy
    You may want to add that contrary to what some people seem to think... Blowjobs ARE sex as well.
  • Jul 27, 2007, 11:06 AM
    Synnen
    I have to disagree.

    Blowjobs are a sex ACT. They are NOT sex, and giving someone a blowjob in no way could cause you to lose your virginity.

    If blowjobs are sex, then what's next? Kissing being sex?
  • Jul 27, 2007, 11:11 AM
    J_9
    I have to spread the love Synn, oral sex is strictly a sex act!!
  • Jul 27, 2007, 11:31 AM
    J_9
    Quote:

    Capuchin agrees: Don't type to me on this forum. That's Sex. Non-consensual sex too. You pervert.
    Wow, Cap. I do hope you are joking here. A blowjob is a sexual act. Intercourse is sex.

    Quote:

    sex (sks)
    n.
    1.
    a. The property or quality by which organisms are classified as female or male on the basis of their reproductive organs and functions.
    b. Either of the two divisions, designated female and male, of this classification.
    2. Females or males considered as a group.
    3. The condition or character of being female or male; the physiological, functional, and psychological differences that distinguish the female and the male. See Usage Note at gender.
    4. The sexual urge or instinct as it manifests itself in behavior.
    5. Sexual intercourse.
    6. The genitals.
    Blowjob

    Quote:

    Giving head, a blow job, fellatio, call it what you like, but there are many wonderful benefits to performing this delicious sex act.
  • Jul 27, 2007, 11:32 AM
    GlindaofOz
    I don't think anyone means that oral sex means you are no longer a virgin. I happen to hold that oral sex is as serious as "regular" sex and as so regard it with the same terminology. What I was referring to in my support is that teenagers today treat oral sex like kissing. They act like its nothing and that to me is sad.
  • Jul 27, 2007, 11:41 AM
    smoothy
    Blowjobs are still sex just as much ans anal sex is. The only difference is which hole you stick the penis.

    Besides if for example your wife or girlfriend was out giving blowjobs to others would you say well, it's not sex so its OK.

    How teenagers can rationalize it as not having sex is beyond me.
  • Jul 27, 2007, 11:43 AM
    ScottGem
    The phrase "having sex" covers a wide gamut. In my opinion any action that involves touching sexual organs is "having sex". But only penetration of the penis into vagina is sexual intercourse. And Sexual intercourse is the only way to lose virginity.
  • Jul 27, 2007, 11:43 AM
    J_9
    No I would not like my husband performing sex ACTS on other women, nor would I like him to be having actual real sexual relations with other women.

    The question here was what constitutes losing your virginity. The answer to that question is very plain and simple

    penis->vagina = loss of virginity.
  • Jul 27, 2007, 12:20 PM
    smoothy
    I'd still have a hard time considering a woman that gave blowjobs to 100 men but never had intercourse a virgin as an example.
  • Jul 27, 2007, 12:25 PM
    J_9
    LOL, I do understand your point, however, she may not be pure in that sense of the word, but if she had never had penile/vaginal penetration she is still a virgin.
  • Jul 27, 2007, 12:29 PM
    Synnen
    I think, personally, that too much stress is placed on the word "virgin"

    As long as you're not endangering your life, or that or another person, and all parties are willing... who cares what you do? (and getting pregnant is "endangering a life" before people get up in arms about that).

    I have a hard time with the fact that people CARE what someone's sexual experiences are, beyond determining whether it may endanger your own life. In that, I mean asking about protection, safety precautions taken in the past, and determining that your prospective partner is disease free.
  • Jul 27, 2007, 12:31 PM
    smoothy
    Me, personally have never went after nor turned away from a woman based on if she was a virgin or not. Her personality is what mattered to me at that point. If I thought she was unattractive I wouldn't have gone so far as ask her out.
  • Jul 27, 2007, 12:36 PM
    J_9
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by UnwantedHero
    hi yea just wondering what actully counts as losing your virginity to most people?i mean ive had sex 6 times without orgasm and to me i still feel like a virgin especially when i get asked by mates and peole whats it like to have sex and all i can do is lie.ive never had sex last more then 10 min and its rather imbarrasing to know that being a guy i can't get my rocks off.masterbation is now becoming a turnoff because its like 3 min and then its over.I just wish id be able to say to people that im not a virgin honestly and feel proud to say it instead of lying.

    Back to the OP.

    You have had sex 6 times, penetration. You are NOT a virgin, so be proud (if that's what you want) to say it!!
  • Jul 27, 2007, 01:29 PM
    ScottGem
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by smoothy
    I'd still have a hard time considering a woman that gave blowjobs to 100 men but never had intercourse a virgin as an example.

    Doesn't matter what you would have a hard time doing. A fact is a fact. Such a woman IS a virgin, there is no question about it. She may be promiscuous, a slut, a whore or any one of a number of derogatory names, but she would still be a virgin.
  • Jul 30, 2007, 05:58 AM
    smoothy
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ScottGem
    Doesn't matter what you would have a hard time doing. A fact is a fact. Such a woman IS a virgin, there is no question about it. She may be promiscuous, a slut, a whore or any one of a number of derogatory names, but she would still be a virgin.

    Well I don't think a woman who has performed sex acts with a donkey, a 100 man gang bang or whatever is a virgin any more even if everyone avoided the vagina. Sex is sex. Have sex and you aren't a virgin.

    A virgin has not had sex with another individual... period. Anything else is just parsing words.
  • Jul 30, 2007, 06:02 AM
    ScottGem
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by smoothy
    Well I don't think a woman who has performed sex acts with a donkey, a 100 man gang bang or whatever is a virgin any more even if everyone avoided the vagina. Sex is sex. Have sex and you aren't a virgin.

    A virgin has not had sex with another individual...period. Anything else is just parsing words.

    Again, you can feel any way you want to. But the fact is that any sex is not sexual intecourse. You have to understand that we are talking facts here. If you want to think that when you drop something it won't fall, then do so. But if you try to tell that to someone else, you would be told you are wrong. That's the case here. Only one thing counts as losing virginity.
  • Jul 30, 2007, 06:07 AM
    smoothy
    Its just parsing words. Basically your argument is if there was no vaginal penetration then sex didn't happen. Try that argument with a divorce court judge and you will lose.
  • Jul 30, 2007, 06:09 AM
    Synnen
    His argument is that if no vaginal penetration, then no sex happened. That's CORRECT. Sex as a general rule refers to sexual intercourse.

    That's not to say that no sex ACTS happened. However, a sex ACT isn't the same as sexual INTERCOURSE.

    Virginity is lost during sexual intercourse, not sooner. If that's just parsing words, then fine... but a kiss is a sex ACT too--are you going to count someone's first KISS as losing their virginity? If that's the case, then Chris M. stole mine in the coat room in 2nd grade!
  • Jul 30, 2007, 06:14 AM
    smoothy
    If you have sex then you aren't a virgin.

    A kiss isn't sex... depending on what you are kissing.

    I'm sorry but the Anal queen of NYC isn't a virgin even if she's never had vaginal sex, and the same if her preference was oral sex.

    You can dance around that point all you want. But if she had sex she is hardly pure or a virgin. Like I said, its just parsing words by trying to have your cake and eat it too.


    Would you consider a guy who has performed innumerable sex acts a virgin if he's never performed vaginal sex?

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