Can anyone provide me with advice, or direct me to the proper agency, for adopting an infant in New York State? I just married my partner of 7 yrs this past week, and we are in search of an LGBT friendly adoption agency in the Western NY area.

I would also like some information on the costs involved. I can obtain a free lawyer through my employer's legal plan, and receive up to $2,000 in reimbursement for adoption expenses from my employer as well. Approximately how much can we expect to spend on adopting a child, given those two advantages?

Also, if it makes a difference, we would like to adopt a healthy infant with no special needs (I feel horrible saying that, but I just don't think either of us could really handle that- and if we have a choice in the matter, I would prefer a child who needs more go to a home that can provide more).

Thanks for any advice you can provide!

New York allows for same sex adoption petitions to be filed.

Of course everyone wants a healthy infant, does race make a difference ?

My guess at cost 10 to 15 thousand dollars for agency and legal fees. ** not sure how much free legal you will get toward this.

No race and sex are not factors for us. As long as the child is healt

Do you have any estimate of what portion of the fees would be legal fees? All of my legal fees would be covered under my employer's legal plan-

And where do we start? Just start visiting and speaking with agencies? Or should I begin with an attorney first? And is it necessary to utilize an agency, or are there other options that would be less expensive?

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Originally Posted by margog85

All of my legal fees would be covered under my employer's legal plan-

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Are you sure about that? Have you asked the plan admins? Corporate legal plans generally cover basic stuff. So I doubt if you will get very much towards the costs here. I think Chuck's estimate is about right on costs. And those were primarily legal costs.

I'm afraid however, that you are going to find this very hard. Infants available for adoption are rare. Generally, where an infant is available it is before it is born. So this means paying for the mother's care through birth. Infants are rarely put up for adoption after birth.

I think you are more likely to find what you want from an overseas adoption.

Good luck to you.

Yes, I hope you are right about the legal fees, but most corp plans cover some office work, up to a certain number of hours, but not hours of court room, and the such, if they do great I am glad they do.

There are often waiting lists of several years for infants, if you ever get one. And I will be frank, some of the larger adoption agencies will not allow same sex adoptions, such as Catholic Charities and I don't think Lutheran Adoptions will either. And sadly adoption fraud is wide spread, so do be careful, don't get attached to a child, before the adoption.

Agencies can be 10,000 or so, and often some will have their own attorneys that will be required to be paid. My 10 to 15 was just my estimated costs of your attorneys.

Total adoptoins can be in that 15 to 30 thousand range,
Less though state agencies, but your chance of a infant is a lot less

If you're looking to adopt domestically, you can expect between $20k and $30k total costs, with about $15k of that being legal fees.

This is just my ESTIMATE--don't quote me here.

Catholic Charities will not allow same-sex adoptions. You would have to check with your local Lutheran Social Services to find out whether they would allow it or not, but my guess is that they are a religious organization and would not.

Foreign adoption is REALLY tricky right now. Many traditional places to adopt children from internationally have issues--Korea and China are cracking down on what amounts to selling babies, in some cases they're babies that are taken from mothers illegally. Russia is having issues because they are telling people that the children they are adopting are FINE, but the children turn out to have serious medical or emotional issues. South America is really trying to keep their adoptions internal right now. And, of course, if you went with an international adoption, it would have to be with a country that recognized same-sex unions, which would leave out some countries.

Check with adoption websites like adoption.com and adoption.org to see if they have suggestions for agencies catering to LGBT couples.

Your BIGGEST hurdle is going to be finding a birthmother that chooses a LGBT couple. Most young women choosing adoption are doing so because they want their child to grow up in a traditional two-parent home. That's not EVERY birthmother, and some may be able to be persuaded to consider LGBT couples, but MANY birthmothers have that as a primary reason for choosing adoption in the first place.

Another area to consider is foster children--there are foster children available under the age of 5 that need homes, and generally the foster parents of children so young are the primary candidates when and if the parental rights of the biological parents are severed.

I really like adoption.com, because it's very informative and supportive of ALL areas of the adoption triad. I really suggest you check it out and look through all of the adoptive parent areas. I believe there are also adoption agencies and lawyers specializing in adoption who advertise there on a regular basis. If nothing else, though,it will give you a broad education about adoption in general.

The person to be talking to is the Attorney whose services are provided through your employment. Now that same sex marriage is legal in NY, laws and procedures are changing on an almost daily basis.

At one time a couple had to be married for a year or more in order to adopt in NY. I do not know if that has changed.