We have to remember that this person posted in February. We do not know how far along the 14 year old was at the time, but chances are she had her baby.

We also have to look at the fact that this person has not posted since February. So, no matter how much we want to help, or what our intentions are, we may never know the outcome.

Yes, somebody made a post and pretty much put this post back on the spot light. There is no problem in wondering and hoping that everything worked out for the family. I do not see a problem for any of us to post how we feel, or how we are concerned or would love to know how everything worked out. Nothing is wrong with that. Whether we get updated or not.

Joe

I agree with you Joe, as I am curious myself. However, at this point there is no more advice we can give, we can only hope for an update.

Well I Hope All Works Out, Thoght I Must Say You Sound Very Bitter. I Hope That Your Doing The Right Thing For Your Child And Not For Yourself. I Pray Your Daughter Will Grow To Be A Happy Adult And Thrive In All She Does, And You Won't Make Her Pay For Ever. At Least She's Safe And Alive.

I am new to this site, and am really shocked by this. I am adopted and currently trying to seek my birth parents, I know I was taken away for reasons I wish not to disclose. I also had an abortion when I was 16 and that was my informed dicission, no body else's. I now have two children of my own and as a parent I couldn't conceive being forced to adopt/abort my own flesh and blood. If you wish to cause your daughter emotional pain then that is certainly the way to go about it, but if you wish to do what a good parent should, then you would support her and educate her to make the choice for herself. Parents are to bring their children up to be adults and survive in the real world, taking that away from them is exposing them to things we are trying to protect them from. I hope you can do the right thing, I am not saying that adoption orabortion is necessarily the wrong thing but it's not up to you to take it into your own hands.

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Originally Posted by paynter167

my 14 year old doughter is pregnant and wants to keep baby. me and my wife are 110% against this, do we have the right to force her to give this baby up for adaoption or does she being a minor have the right to keep this baby.

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Hey, I am not sure of the laws in Canada but I do believe in the U.S. the parents can make the decision for a minor. I am also trying to adopt privately so please let me know. Thanks, Amanda

I have a friend who's 14 yr. daughter is pregnant . And let me tell you the mom is really giving the pregnant. Girl a hard time . This poor girl is falling apart and all her mom can do is complain about how, now that she has a pregnant. Teen her life is ruined . That's all she complains about . And not once stopping to think about how the girl feels .
First she was going to force her to have an abortion and she found out she could'nt force her , now she wants her to give the baby away , so no one will know she was pregnant to
At all . The girl doesn't want to give the baby away , and is terrified her mother will continue with there demands about giving the baby away . The girl can't bring herself to just give her baby away , she has fallen in love with the baby and it's not even born yet. And I can't blame her one bit. The mother has even tried to make the girl think that the father has no say in what decision she makes about allowing her to keep her baby or not.
And that is so not true , the father has a say in it. Plus his family wants nothing more than to help with the baby , and her uncle and aunt will even support the girl finacially while she is in high school and even put her through college and babysit the whole time for her . And her mother want's none of that , from what she says she doesn't want the baby anywhere near her or her daughter , in her words she says " what will people say" .
My answer to her is who cares , if your daughter has enough love for her baby and people to take care of her financially , what right does the mother have to separate a mother from her child . She doesn't, what's so sad is , the girl's mom is doing all this in the name of "shame" . How ignorant is that.

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Originally Posted by nooniebubba

Hey, I am not sure of the laws in Canada but I do believe in the U.S. the parents can make the decision for a minor. I am also trying to adopt privately so please let me know. Thanks, Amanda

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In our state the pregnant. Teen has to make the choice about keeping the baby or not.
I'm talking about Texas . Down here the pregnant . Teen pretty much has to make up her own mind . Espeacially if she has others supporting her , even if they are not her parents .
The court will see that the teen can take care of her baby with the help from others .
In Texas once a teen is pregnant. She has guardianship of her baby and only she can make the choice of keeping the baby or giving it up . All she has to do is tell the judge she was forced by her parents and the adoption is voided right there on the spot .
I know this because a friend thaught she could force her teen to give up her baby and when the judge aske the teen if this was her decidion and her decision only the teen told the truth that her mom was forcing her and made the choice for her . And the judge threw out the whole adoption thing and I think her mother got fined .
Now the teen is with there baby and no one can separate them again . She is living with her grandmother , and her grandmother is the happiest woman on earth right now.
This just happened in Jan. of this year

I would not agree that you should tell and/or force your daughter to give up the baby. Your daughter is a minor and she will forever have feelings for that baby. If you "force" her or demand she give that baby up - when she wants to keep the baby - you will destroy your relationship with your daughter. You will be doing a great harm to your daughter and the baby. You need to make amends at this point - that your daughter is pregnant and will have a child, she will need your support to see her through this until she becomes an adult - your daughter will be grateful and thank you one day. As her parents, she needs you to protect and care for her - and that includes learning about safe sex and preventing pregnancy.

Illusion, I'm not the 14 yr old 's mother , my good friend is .
And I agree with your answer 100% , my friend is having the hardest time coming
To terms with this pregnancy . She feels she has been shamed forever because her daughter got pregnant. And she is only 14 . I'm not quit sure this is about the pregnant. Teen anymore , this has become all about the mother embaraced by her pregnant. Teen .
I feel so sorry for the girl because her mom is very angry with her for humilating her by getting pregnant. Being 14 , and for not waiting until she got married .
This 2007 for crying outloud , people stopped the gossip about who's teen got pregnant. A long time ago .

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Originally Posted by CaptainForest

She could try to become emaciated for starters. She might run away with the baby.

Couple suggestions:

1) Make her have an abortion
2) Talk with her. Don’t order her to give up the child, convince her, but don’t ORDER her. She is going to give birth, treat her with some respect. That is, treat her as an adult, not a child. Find a couple and introduce them to her. Let her get to know them, help her to change her mind up adoption. Let this couple give her some sob story about how they can’t have children for whatever reason, and they would take good care of the child, etc.

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I think you mean Emancipated. Emaciated would mean she would become very thin.

Almost 30 years ago, when I was 17, my mother forced me to give my dauther up for adoption. I never even got to hold her. I have never been the same!! There has always been a big "hole" in my heart that I have never been able to fill. I have two other children, but I have this empty place in my heart. I obeyed my parents and signed those papers and then closed myself off from them. My father died almost 15 years ago and my mother just a few years ago. Our relationship was never the same. She tried to get close to me, but I just couldn't be close to a person who would make a decision like that for me. A few years after I gave my daughter up for adoption, my brother of 17 years was killed in a car accident. My family was devastated and I believe that is when my mother began to realize the pain that she, by her actions, caused me. To lose a child is the most unbearable pain that I believe you can experience. A few years before she died, my mother tried to ask me about this. She started to ask if I ever thought about her, I became so angry and told her not to ever speak to me about that ever again. It was too late and she couldn't make it better or bring my daughter back... it was pretty much too little too late. I love my mother, but I don't think I will ever find forgiveness for what happened. All I wish is that she could have loved me and my daughter even if it would have been embarrassing or uncomfortable for her.

Every situation is different, but I think the mother of the 14 year old should take some time and put herself in her daughters situation. By putting that baby up for adoption, isn't going to make her disappear in her daughters heart.

Jan

If you can afford to, YOU should adopt her unborn child, the child is your blood after all

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Originally Posted by Christopher Brophy

If you can afford to, YOU should adopt her unborn child, the child is your blood after all

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Well put, Christopher!! Oh how I wish my parents would have done that for me.

My girlfriend fell pregnant in 1999 and we were both very young. My girlfriend was petrified and didn't know what to do. I told her immediately that whatever her decision might be, abortion was out of the question. After a long debate, WE decided to have the baby. I was going to study photography, but had to put it on hold and look for another job. We got engaged and began our journey toward parenthood. My daughter is now 7 and I also have 2 sons - one is 3 and the youngest is 8 months old. My life only began when I became a father and prosperity followed - I believe because we made the right decision. Don't be too hasty to convince your child to either abort or give her child away, no one can tell you what the outcome will be, but I can tell you this: I wouldn't trade my children for anything

From personal experience if you tell her to put the baby up for adoption and its not her choice she can come to resent you and she might leave. You might lose her and I don't think that's what you want . Talk to her about what she is giving up if she keeps it let her have a few choices. If she feels she was forced she will have guilt and remorse and she can go into depression.
If she's able to make the choice to have sex, then she can make the choice to keep or not keep the baby.

The "child" in this situation probably gave birth a year and a half ago.

Please pay attention to the dates of the original post before you add your post to it. The person asking the question hasn't been back since February of 2006 to read you answers.

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Originally Posted by paynter167

my 14 year old doughter is pregnant and wants to keep baby. me and my wife are 110% against this, do we have the right to force her to give this baby up for adaoption or does she being a minor have the right to keep this baby.

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Your wife cannot control that! It was your daughters choice not hers, your daughter gets too choose anyway, as long as you allow it. Your wife has no right to do that. Tell your wife your daughter is old enough to make her own decisions, and she's smart so she will make the right one.

Thanks

>Thread Closed<
Please check OP dates BEFORE posting !