Ask Me Help Desk - How can I find out if I am adopted if my parents won't show me my birth certificate

Quote:

Originally Posted by Synnen

I'm saying that if you told MY child to talk to the principal about this, and I got a call from the principal about what a horrible parent I am to not show my child his or her birth certificate--you can bet your A$$ that my child would be getting one hell of a punishment that night.

And frankly, while I agree that children should be told from birth that they are adopted--it's NOT YOUR BUSINESS. But I will not hesitate to mark your bad advice as what it is from here on out, either.

I tried to play nice with you, but it seems that you want to do things YOUR way, regardless how inappropriate your advice is to minor children and adoptees prior to open adoption about what they can and cannot do.

You may as well tell people waiting to adopt that they just need to go to their local hospital because there are ALWAYS babies there that need parents. THAT is how far off your advice is!!

LOL! You are hilarious! You really would punish your child for seeking clarity? How odd! Really?

Well rest assured your "child" will be safe from your punishment because once reported the principal would not CALL you and tell you how bad a parent you are - unless you are best friends and even then I doubt it - that's their JOB to listen to the kids and if there was something WORTH investigation they will do so with or without your consent. You folks keep believing kids have no rights, there are laws in place.

When have you tried to play nice with me and why? You don't seem exceptionally bright in my opinion and I am not impressed with your knowledge of adoptions nor your ability to read and understand what I am saying. You are out for a fight and nothing I say or do will keep you from it so have at it! As far as something being "not my business" LOL are you kidding? This is a message board on the internet not the adoption hotline. I am NOT an adoption specialist (as in lawyer or social worker) however I don't see how you are in any better position then I am to dispense advice, what makes you more qualified than me or so more qualified you feel I need to justify myself to you?

I, however, am BOTH the child of a parent who was adopted And an adoptive mother. Albeit that may not qualify me as an expert legal or otherwise (as it pertains to adoption), still it does speak to my own experiences which is more then necessary aparently as I have much common with the poster and can see things in their prospective.

So tell me who are you and why should I care? You may feel free to preach on about how you find my advice poorly given, or you can take a higher ground and just give better advice, got this feeling YOU GOT NOTHING!

I know your type, you feel you are best used as a sheriff of sorts. I got news for you my mother was a teacher my farther a cop and both educate so I know when someone is offering to educate me. However, if you think spewing your opinions about my posts is edifying or educating, you're simply kididng yourself.

I know that I have been more than clear here and any issues you seem to have, have been mostly a difference of opinion - in other words although your sanctimonious tone implies that you believe that you are putting me in my place, but in reality you are simply showing yourself to be petty oddly threatened by any oppion that does not mirror your own.

I think maybe I will stop laughing now, I really should. This isn't that funny just, well, sad.

No, I'd punish my child for taking it to someone else after I told them the issue was closed for now.

We do not know the whole story her--and I have a feeling you are imagining these evil parents that are being selfish or dishonest about the birth certificate. The other side of the story may be a spoiled teen that was using it as a goad in an argument, and the parent said I'm not doing this because you need to trust that I'm your parent and doing what is best for you.

Besides--please point me to one teenager with a different temperament than his or her parent that DOESN'T think that they MUST be adopted, because they couldn't POSSIBLY come from parents like THAT.

And you're one of those people that uses (ineffectual) time outs, aren't you--and that talks to your children as if they were adults and should know everything you do, aren't you?

What in the WORLD makes you think the principal would see abuse in not seeing a birth certificate? How is that "worth investigation"?

"oh, principal, I am nothing like my parents and I just KNOW I must be adopted--but they won't show me my birth certificate. Can you please make them? Or show me my birth certificate on file?"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA---yeah, right. There are laws in place for THAT, too--and minors don't have as many rights as you think.

How am I more qualified? First--I'm a prospective adoptive parent AND a birthparent. I've also worked with birthparent support groups for 18 years, and have done research on adoption--both the laws and social aspects. I've also worked with adopted children, and have kept in touch with my child's adoptive parents.

I ALSO work in the registrar's office of a private school, so understand that a principal may listen to the student, but he's not going to "investigate" anything until he gets the parents' side of the story, especially with no evidence of abuse. Kids will say some pretty horrible things about their parents when they're angry, and getting CPS involved before the whole story is there is completely irresponsible. Plus--minor students do NOT have the right to inspect their file. Period.

You are NOT playing nice. You are giving advice that could, while not put the child in danger, make things more difficult than it needs to be.

Guess what? My mother was a mother, and my dad an engineer. What do your parents have to do with ANYTHING? I work in administration in a school, I know how much of the time these things will be handled.

Why do you think that your situation as an adoptive mother and the grandchild of an adoptee makes you better than a birthmother who has been involved in the adoption community (online, through Lutheran Social Services, through an independent birthmother support group, an through a research study on birthparents years later)?

I'm telling you that telling a child to stir up the ant hill because she's not getting what she wants from her parents is bad advice.

Take that any way you want.

I didn't realize this is/was a message board. I thought it was a question and answer site.

Love getting legal advice from people who have never set foot in a law school, have no other experience, can't research - but KNOW they are right because of some mysterious "gut" feeling.