My daughter's Bio father and I split before I found out I was pregnant. While pregnant I met my now husband. He has been there for my daughter since the day she was born. Her Bio Father has seen her a total of 6 times (She is now 3 and he hasn't seen her in about 2 years). He pays court ordered child support and provides her with health insurance, but that is as far as it goes. He has never requested partial custody or even visitation. My husband would like to adopt her but her father will not give up his rights. He has the "what's mine is mine" thing going on, it is obvious that his reasons are not in the best interest of the child. Is there anything I can do to "force" him to give up his parental rights? If time and money were not an option is there ANYTHING that can be done?

I'm not sure if this matters, but when my daughter was 3 months old he threatened to kill me and take her. I went to court and got an order of protection which the judge continued for a year. When the year ended I did not renew it. Again, I am not sure if this matters, but thought it was worth mentioning.

Thanks!

Probably not.

There are laws in place to protect parental rights for a REASON.

How would you feel if YOUR parental rights could be severed by someone who wanted something different for your child than you did?

No, since he is paying child support there is no chance of you taking his rights away.

In fact even if he was not paying support and way behind, it is very possible that you should could not take his rights away.

And what is it hurting the child, the step father is still there for the child, adoption would not change the love and family he is providing

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Originally Posted by Synnen

Probably not.

There are laws in place to protect parental rights for a REASON.

How would you feel if YOUR parental rights could be severed by someone who wanted something different for your child than you did?

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*** Is that REASON neglect? Yes, he pays child support because he has to, not because he has the child's best interest at heart. And your right, I would feel horrible if I was actively involved with the child and my rights were taken. That is clearly not the case here.

Although I do not agree, you are certainly entitled to your opinion. Thank you for taking the time to respond.

Sorry no, neglect "may" be used if he was not paying support, but many states have laws that even not visiting or not paying child support is not enough to take the fathers rights away.

So by his paying support he is not legally neglecting the child.

One would think< anyway that if he does not visit, does not want anything to do with the child, he would jump at the chance to get out of paying child support by signing over his rights for adoption. Has this been explained in detail to him that his payments stop when the child is adopted

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

No, since he is paying child support there is no chance of you taking his rights away.

In fact even if he was not paying support and way behind, it is very possible that you should could not take his rights away.

And what is it hurting the child, the step father is still there for the child, adoption would not change the love and family he is providing

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*** You are absolutely right, it is not hurting my daughter. My husband will still love her the same. I guess all it will change is her name. The name issue is one of the main reasons I want the adoption. I am married and although I have my name hyphenated, she has a sister with a hyphenated name too. She is the only one that does not have my husbands name attached. I just feel that when she gets older she will feel left out.

Thank you for your response.

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

sorry no, neglect "may" be used if he was not paying support, but many states have laws that even not visiting or not paying child support is not enough to take the fathers rights away.

so by his paying support he is not legally neglecting the child.

One would think< anyway that if he does not visit, does not want anything to do with the child, he would jump at the chance to get out of paying child support by signing over his rights for adoption. Has this been explained in detail to him that his payments stop when the child is adopted

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I understand that he is not legally neglecting her... But in my eyes he is. She has NO physical contact with. And yes, one would think! He and his wife are FULLY aware that the child support payments will stop and she will no long be on their medical insurance. Like I had said before he has the "what's mine is mine" thing going on.

I know , my second wife, is divorcing the person she left me for now, she has asked to take back our old married name since our kids and grandkids all have that name.

If he will not sign for adoption, have you asked him to sign just to allow her name to be changed

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

I know , my second wife, is divorcing the person she left me for now, she has asked to take back our old married name since our kids and grandkids all have that name.

If he will not sign for adoption, have you asked him to sign just to allow her name to be changed

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Is the name change an option without adoption? Honestly, one of the reasons I am pushing for the adoption is because my daughter is the only one that does not have my husbands name attached. If that is an option I can see if he will go for it. I am sure he won't, but it is worth asking!

Yes it is a option, the laws on this vary by state. And to be honest I am not up on the name change rules. It is a very simple procedure, but most places will require both bio parents but it is woth a check at your local court house on those rules. It is really a fill in the blank form, file it pay a fee and it is done.
In GA you could honestly change you name easier than get a drivers license

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

yes it is a option, the laws on this vary by state. And to be honest I am not up on the name change rules. It is a very simple procedure, but most places will require both bio parents but it is woth a check at your local court house on those rules. It is really a fill in the blank form, file it pay a fee and it is done.
In GA you could honestly change you name easier than get a drivers license

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Thanks so much for your advice... I am going to look into the name change thing. I really appreciate your time!

Just see if he will allow her to change her name. My son's dad has a daughter (not mine) who lives with her mom and stepdad. He wanted to adopt her when he married the girls mom, so her bio dad went to fight it. He eventually gave up and signed away his rights. But, he also had no visitation or anything. Also, with my son, when I filed for sole custody (no visitation) he didn't even fight it. So, let it go for now, and ficve years from now, try again. Chances are, he'll change his mind. Especially if you calculate how much child support he's paid total, and how much he'll save by giving her up. Schmucks always like that kind of stuff :)

I am going through this with my daughters father as well. He's on drugs and is a borderline alcoholic. He never see's her. What you need to do is depending on your state, you and your husband have to be together a certain amount of time for them to even let him adopt your child. Then you make a court date with your local county clerk and show proof that your child's father is unfit (the death threat), and proof that he never sees her, and proof that you are financially stable to raise the child, and the judge decides whether he will force the father to sign over his rights.
I'm just waiting on my husband an I's time limit so he can adopt as well.