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-   -   Suffering from strange addiction (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=54080)

  • Jan 12, 2007, 04:40 AM
    Ophilia
    Suffering from strange addiction
    Hi

    I don't exactly knoow in what field of medicine my problem lies but I think it is an addiction
    I have a stupid habbit of rubbing a piece of cloth between my fingers. I know anyone reading this will think of me as stupid but I have no other option left but to ask for help in this manner cause no one believes me here.
    I'm in lot of stress and it is blowing my career. I will try to explain my problem
    I just rub any soft piece of cloth b/w my fingers. I have this habit for as long as I can remember. It causes me very strong drowsiness and sometimes I feel neausia. I have lost my confidence, and my focus. I used to understand each word of a para I read only once but now I have to read anything 3 or 4 times to understand what it says. I'm always very sleepy any I get a hard time to focus and remember things sometimes. I hardly have any friends because I feel as if I'm too much immature to make friends my age.
    I'm married but my husband doesn't think it is any problem and I have failed to make him understand that I need help.
    The worse is that I can't get rid of this habbit. I've tried every thing I could but I can't stop my fingers
    Please help me. I'm really tired and fed up of it.

    Ophilia
  • Jan 12, 2007, 06:09 AM
    Tuscany
    It sounds like you have a compulsive need to continue this behavior. Have you been to a therapist who might specialize in compulsions? An intense need to do something over and over is not as rare as one might think. You are not alone in this. Seek professional help, and ask for support groups in your area.

    Also, although I am not a doctor, I am concerned that maybe the drowziness is not caused by your finger rubbing. A trip to your GP might be in order as well.
  • Jan 12, 2007, 06:09 AM
    ordinaryguy
    Maybe a variation of obsessive compulsive disorder? I'm not qualified to diagnose, but if YOU think it's a problem, it's a problem. If YOU think you need help, you need help. And I know you're not stupid, because you have the courage to ask for help when you need it. That's smart and wise, not stupid.
  • Jan 12, 2007, 04:12 PM
    MISSIBAYBE
    My younger brother use to do this when he was 3. He stopped though. It was actually quite cute that he lugged his worn out pillow around while rubbing the pillow cover between his fingers. You definitely have OCD! It sounds like a problem only because it makes you sleepy and unfocused. Your husband is your best friend, you've got your family, and how about co-workers? Take the time to get to know one person from your job. Things will turn around for you!
  • Jan 12, 2007, 05:19 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    Unless you happen to be allergic to the actual material you are rubbing, the getting tired or even passing out may well be a mental reaction, not physcial, I believe that therapy and counseling would be needed to over come this, Most likely it is a shut down protection so you don't have to deal in certain situations that you see tiggered by a nervous habit.

    But this is only a unprofessional opinion, you need to first of course have a complete physcial to be sure there is no health issue, too low or too high blood pressure, a sugar imbalance or something else like that.
  • Feb 6, 2007, 11:47 AM
    8Powell8
    What is the main feeling that makes you want to rub the piece of fabric?

    Deep within you there is something you are trying to avoid being/feeling which triggers your desire to seek "comfort" in the fabric.
    You must take a moment to yourself and integrate with that feeling. You must stop resisting it and accepting yourself that way, no matter how "bad" it seems. The label of "bad" is something that you put yourself on it, and it is you who suffers the consequences. Nobody wants to be "bad" so we try our hardest to deny this.

    Let me know if you are able to identify where these feelings come from.

    You might find something like"

    I'm worthless.
    Nobody loves me.
    I can't do it.
    I'm stupid.

    Or even a combination of these.

    Peace.
  • Feb 6, 2007, 12:12 PM
    valinors_sorrow
    We might be able to correctly identiying what this is guessing here but only seeking the help of a professional will change or solve it. So is this about knowing about it or is this about doing something about it? If it's the latter, a visit to a regular MD is in order, as Tuscany suggested, who can refer you from there. This really isn't very strange, from all that I have seen (I know some people suffering from OCD that would make you look tame) and there really is just all kinds of help in the world for stuff like this. Avail yourself of it and you can experience how great it is freeing yourself from this. I once was an avid thumb sucker and hair twirler well past my baby years. I can still remember how it would produce an almost narcotic effect on me. I would still be twirling my hair today if it wasn't cut shorter. LOL
  • May 19, 2008, 12:04 PM
    arsnova
    I have had this same compulsion since I can remember. It started with the lining on my baby blanket then as I got older moved onto sleeping bag exteriors and jacket linings. Usually any sort of satin-like nylon and acetate mixtures would satisfy, yet it still seems to me 100% acetate gives the best fix. As far as getting drowsy and nauseous I have never experienced that. Just the compulsion and some kind of satisfaction somehow felt from the layers of fabric moving across each other between the fingers. Can't explain it , don't know quite how to word it either, just a baffling compulsion really. I'm 22 now and all throughout my life friends and girlfriends would ask about it and I would have no answer.. "I dont know man, feels good between my fingers..." Although in the past 3-5 years maybe I have almost entirely forced myself to stop it, just with will. Something else interesting I found out not long ago, my grandmother (my mothers mother) does it too! She does it with the edge of her pillow cases at night when she's falling asleep.
  • May 26, 2008, 10:21 PM
    imasicko
    Funny, lots of people do different things to help them switch between the sharp and responsive part of their consciousness, to the deep thinking, drowsy, paranoid mind..
    Only by repeating the actions that keep you is the forefront of your mind will you block out the controlling paranoid side.

    You should embrace this practice of meditation and use it to overcome some other things
    Recognize that you are smart and you only hurt yourself by feeling bad about yourself.
    I'd like to talk to anybody on this earth that shared the feeling of your mind controlling you, rather you controlling your mind. Just keep in mind that you are like everybody else and the people you believe to be less mature than, probably have way worse problems...

    I hope you deal with this and feel better.xxx
  • Jul 11, 2008, 01:13 PM
    shawtysweetz
    :eek: Wow! I Hope you respond, because I have the same issue. I do it to anything that's soft, and it seems that when I am doing it I am in a daze or something. I also rub my hands arms with the point made from the cloth. I have been doing this everysince I can remember. My mom used to tell me to stop all the time. It not even something I try to do, sometimes. But sometimes it is. I think I have rubbed holes (overtime) in some of my clothing.hmmm, well I was reading on this site about kids Sesame Workshop - Nice Kids, Bad Habits, I saw before I came here that said children start doing it as a way to cope with developmental stress/ change and overtime can just become pure habit, and doing it unkowingly. I want to stop doing it as much, but I have to admit it does relax you.
  • Jul 12, 2008, 01:34 AM
    metoometoo
    I've been doing this as long as I can remember. When I was really little, I remember very faintly that when I did it, I was "earnging," I would sort of hum along with it, "eeerrrrrrrrrrrng." I know, I know... that's not a word... but, hey, I was little. My big sister thought I was obsessed with my blanket, so she said I had a woobie... so that's how I think of it now.

    I long ago gave up the need to scavange for scraps. I bought a few yards of the perfect jacket liner material at a fabric store, which I just cut for new pieces once they get nasty and wear out. Wouldn't you know it... as I was carrying the material to the counter a friend from work walked in. She asked me what I was going to make, and I told her I was lining a purse for my daughter. I keep it to myself, but I also don't beat myself up over it.

    Maybe I do this because my mom left when I was a baby and that caused me to comfort myself and that carried into my whole life. Maybe when I was little, I was remembering something from before I was born... the "earng" could have been a meditation chant or hum. It is very calming to me. Maybe I'm just a freakin freak who is going to have horrible arthritis in a few years. Who knows. And no, I don't say "earng," I think the last time I did that I was 4 years old.

    I don't care if people wonder why I have my hand in my pocket more often than not. Or why I don't wear gloves in the winter. If someone were to change their opinion of me because of this silly habit that does no harm, then I'm lucky to have had the opportunity to rid my life of their negativity.

    I suspect Ophilia has put way too much emphasis on this being strange, wrong, or bad and should take a deep breath, relax, and enjoy. :) It's like biting your nails or twirling your hair. That's all. I do not feel I have any sort of Disorder (as in ocD). If you do this and you don't want to anymore, then treat it like any other habit. Heck, I quit smoking, and if I can do that, I can definitely put down the woob... but I don't need to, don't want to, and probably never will.

    It's pretty cool to have found other people who do this! I Google it from time to time, but always had a hard time knowing what to put into the search. Tonight, I put in "strange habits" and found this posting. :)
  • Jul 26, 2008, 08:59 AM
    0rphan
    You say that your family are not bothered, but you obviously are, which means you'd like to do something about it, as you say it's ruining your career and you don't make friends, it also embarasses you which is why you try to hide it.

    In my opinion it is a habit that you have lost control of, in fact it seems to control your life to some degree.

    I would say that was.. OCD, the only way you can stop it is to break the cycle.

    visit... the UK official website for OCD, or the website... stuckinadoorway... they will give you all the info' you need.

    Alternatively visit your doctor who can refer you to the appropriate clinic.

    Don't worry too much this is very common.
  • Aug 26, 2008, 05:21 PM
    rbeckyjoknox
    I have had this compulsion forever and I am 58 years old. I love rubbing certain fabrics especially cotton fabric like pillow cases. It calms me. If I wear a cotton skirt I find myself doing this a lot. I have no idea why it calms me but it does and I don't ever want to give it up. I use to say it "tastes good" but don't really know where that comes from.
  • Aug 26, 2008, 06:50 PM
    breezie655
    Seeing a doctor or a therapist may be a way of further exploring this issue. Could be OCD, a way to find comfort for stress and other negative feeling or just a bad habit. I think though that since you say you get drowsy and nauseous this is more than just a bad habit and should receive professional evaluation. Hope you find your answers.
  • Nov 19, 2008, 02:40 PM
    sequoiarose1979
    WOW! I thought I was the only person besides my dad that did this. Ever since I was a baby I have done the same thing; feel silk or satin between my fingers. I have absolutely no clue as to why I do this, but it makes me feel good in a weird way.. lol. I stopped for a while, but have been doing it a lot since I had a baby 3 years ago. I also tend to space out when I do it and sometimes have to tell myself in my head to stop over and over before I will let go and continue on with what I was doing before I started feeling it. My dad does the same thing but with knots on towels and jeans and stuff. He will carry around a small hand towel or something when he finds something with good knots on it.. lol. My close family and friends know I do it and they just laugh and tease me in a friendly way and when I do it they say, "you're doing it again...lol" I have always been curious as to why I do it and what is making me do it. It is almost like a relaxation technique. I always have to have a blanket with it on it when I sleep because it helps me sleep. I was bored and decided to do a search online to see if there was anyone out there who had the same weird compulsion; needless to say when I typed in silk fetish a lot of porn sites popped up and I got irritated.. lol. I am so glad that I found this and that I know I am not the only one. Maybe some Dr. or scientist should do some study on us to see what it is that we all have in common that could make us do this... and by the way, I don't think you are weird... we are unique.. lol.
  • Nov 21, 2008, 03:27 AM
    FloridaGator08
    Crazy, I also do this! I though I was weird for it, and have done it as far back as I could remember. My mother said when I was young, around my toddler stages. She said I used to sleep in bed with her, and my way to fall asleep was to rub her nylon night gown.

    Im 19 now, and I still have the same "addiction". Most people think its weird, but it's not to uncommon. I rub nylon or other material that feel "silky" to relieve stress, or just to do when I fall asleep. It's probably possible I've done it to feel comfortable.

    As far as it making my drowsy, I have no relation to it. But I sure am glad I'm not the only one with this 'addiction'! :)
  • Dec 11, 2008, 07:05 PM
    Timea
    I am a little worried about writing my idea because you are trying to get rid of this rubbing: why don't you try to enjoy it? I agree with your husband, that rubbing is not a problem. My 6 yrs daughter does it since she could use her hands. She does it when she tells me stories in the evening or when she is falling asleep. I let her do it because it relaxes her and if I ever tell her that she is doing something strange, she will try to get rid of this habit and that will turn into a problem.
    Who ever told you that this rubbing is a problem? Not everybody does it but that doesn't mean that it is a problem. Enjoy rubbing, try to like it. It is yours. Your LOGICAL YOU is trying to take it from your EMOTIONAL YOU.
  • Dec 11, 2008, 07:33 PM
    Timea
    One more thing. I think you may have become depressed and that's why you are rubbing more now. That's why you are not making new friends and you feel more pressure at work too. That could also be a cause of your nausea.
    I got depressed too and guess what? My doctor prescribed me pills in seconds, of course, which I put in the garbage. Don't take any pills, even if you see a doctor and he says: YES! You have this OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE disorder, you need antidepressants to take.
    I force myself to exercise 30 minutes every day with my kids. I also call my friends more often and order myself to watch a comedy once a week. This helps.
  • Apr 6, 2009, 04:36 AM
    angelafl311
    A few min. ago I was laying in bed thinking to myself (while I was rubbing my sweatshirt) I can't possibly be the only person who does this. So I got up and typed "rubbing fabric" into Google. I am not sure why I haven't tried looking up something before. I guess sometimes I try to pretend I don't do it at all. I am truly amazed of the people who happened to see this post and have the same problem. Some of the answers sound so much like myself it is scary. I am 25 married with 3 children and have been doing this since I was a toddler. It started with the lining of my baby blanket. I carried it every where and eventually my mother had to throw it out. When I was in elm school I replaced my "comfort item" as my mom would call it with a sweater. When I left the sweater behind at a friends house and couldn't get it back I again replaced it with a sweatshirt. When that one started to get holes in it I again replaced it with another sweatshirt. When that one got accidentally thrown away I stopped for a few years. But I always seemed to find myself rubbing different things I might have been wearing or a blanket or a pillowcase and so fourth but for years I didn't have anything that I carried around. Then a few months ago I bought myself a new sweat shirt and it was just the right material that made me start again. I feel no different then I did when I was younger. I carry it to bed at night, when Im relaxing with my coffee. I put it away during the day so I am able to fully take care of my kids and do house work with no interruptions but as soon as I get a chance to sit and relax I pull it out. My parents and sisters knew I always did it and would just tease me. Over the years friends and boyfriends would also notice the constant presence of my "comfort item". But now at 25 a grown adult with children of my own I seem so foolish for still doing it. I have never come right out and told my husband or oldest daughter but they know my brown gap sweatshirt is always close by. Which in Fl during the summer does seem a little strange lol. I guess one day I will come out with it. But until now I could not explain my behavior without sounding like a weirdo. Thanks to everyone who told their similar stories. It is going to help so much!
  • May 17, 2009, 03:06 PM
    kimbrellgf
    I am so glad I found this post! I am almost 56 years old and have done this all my life. I keep it hidden and if my husband knows he has never let on. It was satin blanket binding when I was very small. My mother took it away from me when she decided I should not do it anymore. I just started rubbing a flannel sheet instead and hid it from her. Now I buy a yard of flannel from time to time, cut it into squares and sleep with one, and keep the other one in my pocket or purse. I love the way it feels and I use it to go to sleep. When I wake up I like hold it against my cheek or lips for a while and kind of space out. I like to weave it between my fingers so that it touches the sensitive webbing between the fingers. I try not to rub it between the fingers anymore because it was causing my finger joints to ache and I have some carpal tunnel syndrome that I think was caused by the repetitive motion. You'd think that would be enough to make me stop because I am an artisan who works with my hands, and can't take time off for surgery!
    I have an added issue, though. When I do this I tongue-thrust. This is a combination of a misaligned jaw, large tongue and the fact that my mother took me off a bottle when I was still a baby. I was never allowed to thumb suck or have a pacifier. This is my adoptive mother. My birth mother was forced to give me up by her family when I was 3 months old.
    I know I should try to stop, but I can't imagine stopping a 55 year habit. I have some OCD issues and take meds for it. I wonder if I will be an old woman in a nursing home holding a blanket like a baby. I have NEVER told anyone about this, so it felt really good to find out other people do it.
  • Nov 20, 2009, 09:28 AM
    RollerGirl
    This is so funny.. I've searched a couple of times to see if anyone else did this and came up with nothing.. I was even wondering if it could be associated with the character from Of Mice and Men..
    But yea I have this sweater sitting on my lap at work and I rub the sleeves of it.. lol.. Something to do I suppose while working. I keep this habit from everyone, except my husband.. I told him about it when we first started dating and he doesn't mind. But what's funny is I was just talking to a co-worker and I guess I was doing it and she looked down and glanced at my "action" which I of course immediately stopped. But I feel much better now knowing I am not the only one that does it.. lol.
    And there are people out there that do weirder stuff.. so no worries! LOL
  • Dec 3, 2009, 08:19 PM
    Boston914
    I had a satin "blanket" as a child. I have always had pieces of satin or silk to rub between my fingers. Never having found anyone else or connections to others I have come to think I was about the only person in the world who did this. I am 58. What is this all about? It is comforting and it does take me away from whatever else is going on...
  • Dec 3, 2009, 08:22 PM
    Boston914

    I am pretty relieved to know others have this trait as well... Thank you.
  • Dec 3, 2009, 10:02 PM
    Boston914
    Wow, I am so glad to hear others share this passion. I also tongue thrust and kind of go to a trance... at times.
  • Jan 8, 2010, 01:45 AM
    devondempsey
    Lol. Boston914, I do the same thing! I still have my baby blanket and I am 23. It is now basically useless but I have found a replacement :) I will even rub on the inside of jackets and other clothing if they have the silky material. It is comforting and helps me relieve stress. My boyfriend thinks I'm a weirdo so I came on here to try and prove him wrong! Lol
  • Feb 17, 2010, 02:45 AM
    Csardas
    Doing the same thing. I was looking for answers and if other people are doing this, and why... and so they do :) Why? I guess... because... It's just a thing we do, and we're not the only ones doing it :) :)
  • Feb 18, 2010, 07:31 PM
    lilybdcsa

    I'm 56 years old and have always tried to hide my cloth rubbing from others. It's something I've done since I was a small child If anyone else has noticed, it has never been mentioned. I just thought I was weird. Now that I know know I'm not the only one, that's one less thing to worry about. I've been doing it a lot more lately. My mother has a brain tumor and my father has Alzheimer's and I'm their primary caregiver. The rubbing helps to ease the stress. I would never stop it. My preference seems to be for jersey knit or soft cotton fabric. I even have jersey sheets on my bed.
  • Mar 6, 2010, 09:08 PM
    Racecarr33

    So happy to hear that there are more people out there like me. I am almost 24 years old and have been rubbing fabrics ever since I was an infant. This is the only "compulsive" disorder I have; however, it is starting to take a toll on my hands. Sometimes the rubbing causes the sides of my hands to dry and even split open to the point of bleeding... the pain of this is not enough to make me quit.

    The habit is incredibly embarrassing, but luckily the only people who usually notice are those who are closest to me, like my best friend and boyfriend. I only rub fabric if it is soft and cold (strangely enough, it MUST be cold to the touch) and typically I will only do it when I'm tired or nervous. I'm not sure if it is the drowsiness that makes me rub, or the rubbing that makes me drowsy. My boyfriend says I even do it in my sleep... so I don't think that it is a conscience action.

    I enjoy it so much, I doubt I will ever be able to stop!

    Something that struck my curiousity was the member who said they were adopted... I too was adopted... perhaps this is a clue? Or maybe just a coincidence...
  • Mar 6, 2010, 09:10 PM
    Racecarr33

    P.S. My mother coined the term, "twickling" for this action. :)
  • Mar 16, 2010, 08:43 PM
    heresbigmike

    I'M A 56 year old male , I'm , I think , going through Mid life crisis , or male menopause ! I'm doing as much therapy as I can stand ! You see , I've always been successful and totally Independent , I'm also trying to deal with ( MULTIPLE ) childhood abuse Issues! and I suspect that your finger rubbing , IF IT ACTUALLY BUGS YOU , you may want to come to terms with It !If It only bugs others,and not you , THEM ! After all , If your not dissatisfied with It , and It bugs other people , THEM ! PERHAPS this little thing Is a good thing ! REMINISCENCE , GOOD FEELINGS , MEMORIES!! Are you actually fed up with It ? Or Is everyone else ? If It's bugging you , get rid of It !If It's something comforting ? WELL " everyone else Is going to have to come to terms with It , aren't they !
  • Aug 12, 2010, 08:53 PM
    silk75
    I can't believe there are other people like me! I, too, have been rubbing thin silky like fabrics since I can remember. It started with a corner of my blanket, then handkerchiefs and so on.. This rubbing relaxes me a great deal! I enjoy it a lot and would never think of getting rid of the habit. I am 35 and now rub only occasionally, but always feel happy when I do so
  • Dec 6, 2010, 10:19 PM
    SpacyStaci
    I am a twiddler too! Been doing it since I was a baby and am actually currently twiddling right now and I'm 23! It is pretty impossible for me to imagine it gives you drowsiness or nausea though cause.. well.. It's just moving your fingers.. All it does is make my fingers and hands cramped after awhile. I cut a little piece of my sleeping bag material so I can twiddle wherever I go.. LOL! I'm so sad yes I know. But I love the feeling!! So don't lose confidence or feel immature because a lot of people do it. I do it in public! Your not the only one and there will always be more twiddlers. P.S.- I will be twiddling on my death bed... If I last.
  • Jan 11, 2011, 06:52 PM
    JaeOhYeah
    OMG I do the same thing as Arsanova's Grandmother! Except I almost always am doing it while sucking my tongue which I've done even before I was born. I do it anytime of day. Sometimes I walk around with my pillow or just the pillow case. So glad I'm not alone!
  • Jan 12, 2011, 12:26 AM
    martinizing2

    Four posts. That averages one a year from when the first post written.
    To the day it has been four years.

    Old posts do not get much attention... so

    If you would like your questions about this habit addressed put it in the ASK YOUR QUESTION BOX and a thread will be started to deal with your issues.
  • Jan 13, 2011, 08:48 AM
    lilybdcsa
    I subscribe to this thread in email, so when there's a new post, I'm notified. It's comforting to be to be able to come back here and not feel so alone.
  • Jan 19, 2011, 12:27 AM
    kiddoc88
    You are far from alone.. there are plenty of others including myself who do this
    http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/fingers_and_fabric/join
  • Feb 1, 2011, 12:58 AM
    JohnMan89
    Hey ophilia please contact me at [email protected]. Maybe we can help each other. Please
  • Feb 2, 2011, 08:55 PM
    geniva
    I am 29, and have been hiding this habit for my entire life. My husband "pretends" not to notice. The odd thing is I have stopped before, but I typically will find another satiny thing to hoard and rub. I feel exactly the same way about the sensitive web between the fingers and also it being COLD to the touch. Anything satiny on an edge does it for me. SO embarrassing but THANK GOD I am not the only one. Thanks for sharing. This is the first time I have googled it. We need a name for this.




  • Jun 27, 2011, 03:14 PM
    WilliamMor
    I'm 26 and also do the same thing, it started with my blanket when I was a child and has progressed from there. I try to keep it under control and actually quit for a few years in college. I always use the same handkerchief and it will actually start to disintegrate from the friction and bleach the color out on the tips where I rub. I would guess that over the course of a few years (if I managed to keep the same one) it would completely disintegrate. As others have suggested the "cold to the touch" aspect is key for me, and I will even flip the ends around to cool them between short intervals of rubbing. I Didn't know anyone else did this besides me until right now, and have often felt guilty about the behavior. I also have severe anxiety and do a few other OCD things related cleaning and bodily fluids. One thing I have been thinking about lately, is the harm the repetitive motion might cause us in later life i.e.. Carpal tunnel. I have noticed that sometimes my wrist gets very fatigued after a long or aggressive session.
  • Jun 27, 2011, 03:21 PM
    WilliamMor
    Comment on WilliamMor's post
    And I should mention my sister also has a fabric rubbing addiction. She picks fuzzballs from a fuzzy blanket or sweater and rub them between her fingers, they used to cover the carpet of her room when she was younger and even did it in the car for a while with one of those furry steering wheel covers.

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