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My daughter states she's addicted to pain killers. She wants to quit. She just asked for help. Which is half the battle I believe. I know nothing on the subject. However, she wanted money to get soboxtin. Is this safe? She wants help but doesn't want to be treated with counseling as she knows she has a problem... How can I help her?
D
Based on what I just read on soboxtin,it sounds like the meds used for this addiction.
Subutex and Suboxone: Questions and Answers
As to being treated by therapy,has she stated the reason,other than she knows she has a problem?Misdiagnosing your own problem and self-treatment aren't conducive to long term recovery.
NA meetings and in house treatment is suggested from the first.
Detoxing from any addiction like this can be deadly!This is a fact,not a myth.
You have to be the clear thinker in this situation,your opinions and guidance have to be the deciding factors in your daughters recovery,treat her as a baby,taking her first steps.
This may be a tough time for you,and her,but in the end,recovery is quite a relief to all around the addict.
I hope this helps you see a little about this disease,and I will be back in the AM to see if we can discuss this further.(it's 2:32 AM my time,got to get some sleep... :) )
KBC
Unless she is under the supervision of a doctor, keep your money in your pocket. Check, and verify anything she says, for your own peace of mind!
I assume she is on Oxy. She states she cannot sleep, has sweats and muscle cramps.
She stated she wants to be seen by a doctor (outpatient only) especially since she has a job now and likes it. We want her to drop her boyfriend who she followed into this mess. She use to be a leader versus a follower so... this is difficult for us to see her like this.
Are you someone who knows first hand? I'm ignorant and naïve. I just want her to get help. I've given her the #'s to the drug/alchol clinics in her area. She did say she had to act fast. Because I assume the withdrawal will only get worse. She did say this was serious.
D
Quote:
Originally Posted by KBC
Don't be overly alarmed by the 'act fast' attitude.This could be a ploy to manipulate you.
And, Yes,I have been there and done that with drug addiction,I have been attending NA meetings for many years,helping with other addicts,seeing what happens throughout the recovery process.I am not above learning more.
The medication she asked for was not something I have personal experience with,that is why I had to read up on it.
How can we help you?
We will caution you on giving ANY financial assistance,CASH for instance.
If she needs meds,have the pharmacy charge your credit card,if it is cash for food... go buy it for her,do not give cash.
An addict will do ANYTHING to keep an addiction going,even take from their own.Nothing has more draw than an addiction,it will break down every moral you have,end every relationship due to your need to feed it,instead of caring for anyone else... In the end my addiction was a career,not a drug problem,I had to work for what I needed,every dollar went to my using.
Before you have a bigger problem on your hands,seek AL-ANON meetings in your area.
I can help you find them if I knew your general metro area.
Please continue writing back,I am interested in the assistance we can all give in here,and 1 addict relieved of this burden is one more that will live to help another.
KBC
We have already told her no cash. And anything done we will need to pay directly, see her paycheck and given to us so we can help, and so on. She agreed. We have already been manipulated, lied to and she has chosen her boyfriend over us many times.
I don't understand the thought process. She states this is serious - serious in her addiction or just what? She states she's in debt at Money tree, and overdrawn at the bank.
Or is the withdrawal sympstons serious too? What I have read on line if you quit cold turkey - and not come down from it gradually there are serious complications?
I'm from Poulsbo, Washington - across the water from Seattle. Don't know if there is anything local. Also drug/alcohol treatment centers- I don't know if she can do this by outpatient? Not knowing the "seriousness" She just does not want to lose her job. She's 19 yo.
Her friends know everything so its difficult to get through to her...
D
Al Anon - (425) 348-7828 - Everett, WA - 21.61mi
Al-Anon Family Groups - (425) 348-7828 - Mukilteo, WA - 20.02mi
Alateen & Al-Anon Information - (206) 625-0000 - 1402 3rd Ave, #803, Seattle, WA - 16.80mi -
To get you started on locations.
I am not aware of what suboxtin is.
I did have a friend that was addicted to oxycontin.
The meds to get her off the oxys were even more addictive than the drug.
Just please be careful when choosing her meds.
God bless and best of luck to you and your daughter.
Thank you for the info. Hopefully help and the end to this drama for her and I will be healed. Without further reprocussions.
Glad to be of assistance,and hey! Don't be a stranger to Ask Me Help Desk,we would all like to see how this turns out for you both!Quote:
Originally Posted by DebN1962
:) kbc
Ah, the wonders of modern medicine.
If she goes to the doctor and tells him about her addiction he is likely to prescribe her suboxone. It is much safer than methadone. Suboxone just blocks the opiate 'transmitters' and also doesn't get you 'high' like methadone does. Get her into a 90-120 day treatment facility and they will detox her and counsel her.
I just watched a show tonight about this. Here is a link that might help you. Homepage
She just called me and stated she is off work tomorrow and knows what she has to do. She will be calling the clinic. So we shall see.
D
So my daughter goes to the doctor and he tells her he has seen worse cases then her, and that she shouldn't even be there. So immediately I call the clinic and ask for them not to unravel this, she has admitted she has a problem and wants help. If a professional tells her she has no problem, she may think this is no big deal. No call back from the doctor...
This is almost getting to be a legal concern.
But I could be wrong,I have been before.:)
Is the doctor in a medical group?If so,try to address your concern to his higher ups,the chain of command needs to know if their personnel did something possibly out of line.
OR,take her to a different clinic.
That sounds ridiculous! I agree with KBC don't let this go and in the meantime find another clinic. I can't comprehend a dr telling somebody that wants help with an addiction to not worry about it.
Other than they want people hooked on taking medications but if they take it more than prescribed then it should be considered an addiction. They call oxycotin 'hillbilly heroin'
Would a dr tell someone they aren't an alcoholic just because they only drink a six pack a day where other alcoholics drink a case a day?
Forget fighting the good fight, its obvious he will not prescribe her anything, so move to the next options, a second opinion, or evaluation by a trained clinician.
Worry about lawsuits, and complaints later, for now get the facts, to deal with your daughters problem.
Drug therapy for addiction, is not always a viable treatment. A rehab is my first choice,where there will be monitoring. A doctor is crucial, for any drug therapy, as even Suboxone, is addictive, and must be monitored by someone who is trained to deal with the withdrawals.
I think you should educate yourself, with the facts on addiction, and the games addicts can play, or your dealing with this whole thing blindly. Call your local Narcotics Anonymous chapter, and get some guidance. They know how and where to go for help.
I thought it was perhaps just me... wondering if this was protocol or if she took it out of context. I had to tell my daughter tonight that he probably meant that she came in at the right time, and before things got worse. And perhaps he was disappointed.. seeing her so young.
If she is spending all of her money towards the habit, and coming to us for help, and because she hates feeling this way, rotten gut, sleeplessness, and muscle spasms - she has a problem. Its withdrawal from everything I've read. Its consuming her life, and of course for the last two years it has pulled our family apart, we suspected but she was so defiant and into her "friends". It explains a lot.
She goes back on Thursday, and if things are not better I have another doctor lined up.
This doctor is 1 of 3 in Kitsap County apparently. The other doctor who came highly recommended is on a 6 months. Waiting list - which I said was ridculous because what if the person needs help now?? And the outpatient clinics were no help- they told me a GP could prescribe and treat her... that somewhat turned me off, that I knew more than they did. I'll keep you informed. She has given the clinic permission to release information to me (that she has gone and is following the program). If she doesn't the money stops for groceries and bills or anything else she should need.
D
Rehab is the best choice for her it sounds like.
Another drug to substitute for a drug of choice really isn't good as Talaiman said. No matter what the dr said or how he meant it he should have been more supportive AND given her all the options and referred her to counseling, rehab places, etc...
Thanks for the advice. I will call the Chapter in the area. I'm new to this. I also think our County is just too small - not enough knowledgeable people even though statistics on the drug usage is high for this County. Perhaps Seattle is the best place to find someone else.
D
So what is the street value of Oxy? And here's a new one... a drug dealer wants $500.00 now from her. Do drug dealers front the stuff? And is this a job of a drug dealer to go to certain areas everyday? Even travel by Ferry and go another 40 miles. So the guy apparently is now threatening (me) via her text mail that I just read that was sent to her... So am I the only in this situation and ask? I feel this is such a made up story.
D
My 21 son, a recovered user is giving this advice...
*If you give her money don't expect that it is going to be for only suboxono because that drug is not going to get her high. She is going to use it to buy another drug with which she can get high, Don't believe anything a junkie says.*End quote.
I agree with others here who have said she can not and should not try to attempt to detox herself .
Trying to detox yourself is potentially dangerous. Depending on the level of her addiction it can lead to seizures and blood pressure problems and all manner of things that are best left to professionals.
I don't want to scare you anymore than you already are but depending on her age you can and should force her to seek medical help.If she is an adult I still would not give her money but I would get informed real fast about her addiction and do everything in your power to find services for her.
I've been there and by the grace of God and a lot of hard work we got through it.
You need to get informed and sorry to say but don't believe anything she tells you.. as a junkie ,she is not the daughter you know and love she is just a sad lost junkie... I' m very sorry
If love made it better it would just go away but it doesn't and
Please don't blame yourself!
All Gods love to you both!
If you need to talk more please don't hesitate.. I have really been through this .
While I have no idea the street value(it probably varies from area to area anyway)You asked,do they front it,, I never met a dealer I didn't like who wouldn't front me at least for a while.If they can keep an addict supplied and then pressure them later to 'pay up' causing more chaos to the addict,making the addict do desperate and reckless things to be able to pay the front,and then buy even more,to chase away the chaos brought on in the first place,, yes, a vicious cycle.Quote:
Originally Posted by DebN1962
Maybe letting her text back and state something like,she has been arrested and the police are monitoring her cell phone,checked on her texts and calls and are looking for a connection.
I wish I had the 'old' way of thinking,the police might have a better way to handle this(and keep the 2 of you out of harms way)
A dealer just wants paid,but YOU are not responsible to pay her bills.
Hope this helped,
KBC
You are not responsible for her 'bills' but there is nothing ethical or moral with how a dealer goes about things. Like in the movies you will see a dealer shoot up a house and not care who gets killed inside. All they are looking for is revenge.
If your daughter is making this up then it would do you good to call her bluff and tell her that you called the police and see if she changes her story. If she sticks with it you do need to involve the police to help you with your safety.
Did the doctor tell you this or did your daughter? If it was your daughter I believe the addiction is speaking and she is making excuses for her addiction. I've seen it done many times.Quote:
Originally Posted by DebN1962
**EDIT** The doctor most likely will not call you back as it would be a HIPAA violation to discuss her heath care with you unless she has signed a waiver.
Quote:
Originally Posted by KBC
In my area it's $100 for a 7.5, sometimes higher - I'm in NY, the Police just made a sweep and pretty much closed the parking lot market.
If the Police make a seizure they WAY inflate it because it makes for a better newspaper article, same with Homeland Security.
My husband is a Pharmacist; was not unusual to be offered far more than that if he would sell over the counter.
I know this problem all too well. I have also struggled with opiate addiction and likely the reason she is begging you to act quickly is because withdrawals are just that awful. Sleepless nights, anxiety, the terrible pain, and nausia. Depending on how much she was taking there is often a high risk of seizures accompanied with the other unpleasant side effects of withdrawl. There are methadone outpatient clinics that will treat her with Buprenorphine (Suboxine) or methadone . Depending on where you live the length of the programs may vary quite a bit. I attend a methadone maintenance program used to treat opiate addiction and my situation has improved immensly. I am much much much more stable emotionally and employment wise. I don't go out hunting down pain killers anymore and I am working and have been over the last year since starting the program. Before that I never wanted to work and was out all hours of the night trying to score. These programs allow you to taper from the suboxine or methadone which is the most effective way to avois withdrawals from these medications. Some people argue that these drugs are no better than the original addiction, but you have to keep in mind that ideally you won't be in this program forever. Along with receiving a counselor you can attend classes that taech you about relapse prevention. As you taper off you can work on yourself and getting strong so when you have tapered to the end you have gained the stability and courage you will need to face the world in a complete state of sobriety.
In my area oxycontin goes for about a dollar a mg. And yes if she was selling drugs the dealer may have fronted her the money. If she was the 'middle' person he was probably selling her the pills 50 dollars per 80mg pill. I think if you started going to NA meetings or AA meetings listening in, abd asking questions then that will help you understand what you are dealing with. One of the first things I came to understand about addiction is that you should assume that every word the addict says is a lie.
All these posts are completely right and it is very important to not self mecaite. Please see a professional no matter how much it costs. There are many parents who wish they did this sooner. Good luck
I'm really stupid, I haven't been giving her money, yet she has beaten the system. The doctor has followed through with "yes" she has been to her appointments, and "yes" her tox's have been clean. But I find out tonight that she has asked others (namely her older sister) for her clean urine. So how is she getting past this? She's been lying and yet still works ( think - but probably about ready to lose her job she has been calling in). But we see no money, and now she's behind on bills. We are calling her bluff this weekend. Wish me luck. I cannot help her anymore - she's 19 and refuses inpatient treatment. How can I let her hit rock bottom with out getting hurt?Quote:
Originally Posted by artlady
Yep, I'm stupid. No cash was given, but I've been paying for treatment, and the doctor came through with "yes" she has been to every visit and "yes" she has been testing clean. However, I hear from her sister that she had asked her for clean urine two weeks ago. How can this get past them? We are calling her bluff this weekend, no more groceries, no more help in bills. Will this kill me or her? I don't want to see her in anymore trouble than I think she already is in... I can't force her to do anything she's 19. But I believe she's about to lose her job since she has called in a few times without good reason, and her boyfriend has been arrested and bailed out by her - so there goes some drug money I hope. She never use to be a follower but a leader and now she thinks of nothing but him, and I'm not making excuses for her but he has got to go, will she ever see he is the problem and got her here? And that she can make her own choice not his? I wish I had all the answers.Quote:
Originally Posted by KBC
D
Yep, I'm stupid. No cash was given, but I've been paying for treatment, and the doctor came through with "yes" she has been to every visit and "yes" she has been testing clean. However, I hear from her sister that she had asked her for clean urine two weeks ago. How can this get past them? We are calling her bluff this weekend, no more groceries, no more help in bills. Will this kill me or her? I don't want to see her in anymore trouble than I think she already is in... I can't force her to do anything she's 19. But I believe she's about to lose her job since she has called in a few times without good reason, and her boyfriend has been arrested and bailed out by her - so there goes some drug money I hope. She never use to be a follower but a leader and now she thinks of nothing but him, and I'm not making excuses for her but he has got to go, will she ever see he is the problem and got her here? And that she can make her own choice not his? I wish I had all the answers.
D
Just today I gave someone the following link and while we never want to give up on our kids sometimes we have to detach ,just for a little slice of sanity.
At this stage of the game,she is not thinking like your daughter anymore,She is thinking ,if at all ,like an addict.
I hope the article I cite will be useful to you. My game plan when I was going through this was try everything until you find something that works.He just got clean on his own.Maybe it was all that praying,he decided he didn't want it anymore.
He was also very mean when he was on dope so that is a behavior to look for.
I wish you the best and know that you are not alone, you always have an ear here. Michele
How Can I Help An Alcoholic or Drug Addict? - Specific Things You Can Do To Help
Thank you!
D
Please do not give your daughter money for any drug.Have the doc prescribe the suboxin.Then if you choose you can pay the pharmacist. Its becoming very available on the street now.opioid addiction needs to be addressed by a pro.If your daughter will not get a therapist she may not be ready to quit.There are also supprort groups out there that may be able to give you some answers.Good luck!
So its been about 8 months+ since I thought things were fine, and things were getting better... Not any more, she was just arrested, same boyfriend, which we thought she dumped since he burglarized our house. She's on some serious charges being a first time offender, and now her life just might be over for having any chance at any good job. She just took the placement test for College, and then this happens. Now what?
I'm sorry to hear that it has gone this way, though I'm not surprised.
She needs to be held responsible for her own actions. Maybe jail might be a wake up call.
I feel for you. I know how frustrating it is to watch someone lose their life to drug addiction.
Update us please. We are here for support.
It really is up to her what happens next, all you can do is pray for her. Maybe jail will do what you cannot.
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