I hope you synnen and start understand that my wife and I were trying to have children and when we finally found out we were pregnant. We were so excited and happy and could not wait. Our first baby ended in miscarriage. It was devastating. It was hard to take and we went through so many different emotions. Then I had people at my work, office personal tell me that it is not really considered a loss. They were also surprised that the baby had a heart beat. What I am trying to say here, is that because of our experience, because of our loss and the it is not alive according to others around me I got angry and mad to think that people could care a less, that people has no regard to the importance of life. So when I hear somebody asking how they can force and start a miscarriage on purpose. You know what, that makes me so mad and upset and this poster needs to know it is not right. So I still feel the pain and hurt from losing our first baby and you know what. That is what shows in the posts. Some might not understand that but that is me.


EDIT:::::::::::::::::::

I deleted my original post to that girl.

Joe

Hey joe, I agree with you. Believe me I know what a miscarriage can do , before and after every single one of my children I had a miscarriage. I know that sounds unbelievable, IT IS TRUE! What Synnen and the other posters are trying to say is that, the lady was trying to ask for help after the fact. Not your opinion of her for what she did. She needed help on how to start over. Sometimes we are so outraged by how it all started we cannot offer any help. I have been there. I may have looked like a jerk after 300 or so posts on the same thread not ever giving into it, but I wasn't going to change my outlook because I was so pissed from the beginning. I know exactly how you feel, although I have had miscarriages I would hope that I never made one happen. Wow, that is pretty awful. Hugs

Joe,

I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss. I hope that time has helped to heal you, and that Joshua has taken the sting from the loss, though I know he has not replaced your lost child.

I won't be trite and say that child is in a better place, or that God had plans for that child... Everyone seems to say things like that, and it never really helps, it just feels as though they are saying something to say something.

You will never forget that lost child, and I hope you know how sincere I am when I say that I am so sorry for your loss.

I hope that you realize that I was not trying to belittle what you had to say. Everyone's experiences shape them, and sometimes we can not help our reactions to things (check out my reaction sometime when someone posts that adoption is the "best thing to do if you can't raise your child") I am actually very glad you pointed that post out, because I may have missed it otherwise, and really felt I needed to post what I did.

You are a truly strong man, and one with compassion. I hope you realize that I was not attacking you, and not saying that what you said was wrong. I'm just... I don't know. PMSing or something. I'm tired and sad tonight, and it makes me ramble on in posts.

Many hugs to you, my friend.

Well, There are times where we joke around lots here, and other times we share our pain and sadness and life experiences that comes our way.

You know what, Yes, Having Joshua definitely took the sting away. What both my wife and I do is focus completely on Joshua. He is here, and He is such a smart, beautiful, happy baby. It makes my heart so happy and proud to know him as our child. That we are now blessed with Joshua. I would have it no other way. I do not ever want to forget our first experience eighter, everything happens for a reason and I think that made us grow. Also have had a doctor say to us it is natures way of developing a perfect baby. Now we have him. Joshua.

I guess, when I saw that post with that girl it hit a huge nerve in me. I am here in tears thinking about it. I just wished that people who read my posts learn from this and discover the importance of life, Love. It is the greatest thing to experience and many people take life for granted. I do not want to do that.

I also know we all make mistakes and we all have a past that we need to let go in order to move ahead, and move forward.

Synnen, to me it is not considered rambling at all. Please know this.

I love reading every word, and I am with Joe, I am not sure if we can call it rambling cause it makes sense! This is a very hard subject! Brings lot's of thoughts and feelings from "before" and I can guess this young lady might be feeling them too down the road. I just hope it is not from her doing! Hope you both feel better! Hugs, Start

I'm the one who tends to ramble. If in doubt, check my last post.
Joe, I don't know what to say except I understand your feelings. When I was pregnant with my first child, It was actually twins and I miscarried a fraternal twin. So your heart break is well understood.
Start is right, it is a very tough subject to discuss. And no matter what advice we give, they will do as they want to do. We pray and hope for the best.
In her case that if she tries to terminate her own pregancy she'll survive it. Blood loss and toxic shock are very common. I've seen both and they are nightmares.

I talked to my dad today,\. He wants me to meet his lay friend. I said I'm okay with him having a lady friend and I was honest about it. I also said, I wasn't ready to meet her or see him with someone other than my mother just yet. I still have to reconcile with the fact my mother is dead. He seemed okay with it but I think a little disappointed about it. I thought it was better to let him know how I felt than meet her and seem cold or impersonal to her. It may be a little selfish on my part but I couldn't help it. My mom and I had a weird relationship, but I loved her. I just hope dad understands that I need time.

Good morning everybody.

Chippers - It takes time and I think your dad understands that.

Laura - Good luck with that ceiling, I assume they are doing the work today? It sounds like it is going to be such a messy messy mess. Hope they clean up after themselves.

Start, Allheart, Al, Synnen, and everybody else that visits here. I am just dropping by to say that hope you have a good day. Excellent weekend.

I do not know if it is just me but the internet is really really slow and I am having a hard time with some websites.

Messy is a bloody understatement lol I'm off to the midwife shortly to have my bloods done hopefully be around later xxxxxx love to you all

I wish you well and send hugs Laura. I hate having blood drawn.

Ive got an empty right arm its achey I hate having bloods done makes me want to pass out yuck, my house is covered in a thin white dust everywhere I now don't have a ceiling in the kitchen and I just want to go bed xxxxx hope your all well xxxxx

I don't like it either... oohhhhh!
Hey I will be having my home inspected to take in the boys. I love people going through my home! I love it!

Hehehehehehe how exciting good luck xx

Joe, Synnen, I wish there was a way I could have helped you. I have seen first hand from my sister how terrible it was to lose children. I myself also suffered a miscarriage, as a result of an auto accident, and it was very rough on me, but I already had a son, so I can't imagine losing all of your hopes like that. There was another poster that had some post like that last week about drinking alcohol to terminate, I wrote her off as a troll, but I guess there are a lot of young girls in those situations. I love you all and I love that we have all had suffered pasts... it has brought us all here the way we are to helpeachother, and that is something I am terribly thankful for. You are all wonderful Beautiful people.

I just want to say that I'm almost crying today because of what a great group of people this is.

I never thought that when I came here that I would make such good friends.

You all are the best.

Ah well your just as special to us my sweet so don't you forget that xxxxxxx

You should see me I'm blubbering... Gosh darn Joe... he had me sobbing from the moment I started reading today. I hope your day is a little better today..

Yes, you are all very special! Hugs to all of you and big THANK YOU"S everywhere! Yes, Yes, Yes!

God you lot must think I'm heartless but I've miscarried myself enough times and I just feel imune to any upset and believe that everything happens for a reason.
?Guess that's why I'm not jumping for joy over this pregnancy yet just no point in getting excited you never know what tomorrow will bring.

I undersatnd, just think if we did not have miscarriages, I would have had 9 children! Holy Crap! With that being said, we are all cheering you on CBW! And can jump for joy if you would like because this is a wonderful thing!

Nah I'm not jumping yet lol its just pushing my luck all in good time ;)

I was actually surprised you let the cat out of the bag... I think every new mother fears that, I still worry about it... I agree, that I think it all happens for a reason... I don't think you heartless, you just know how to adapt..

I so need to whinge,
I want a cigi more than anything I'm more tierd than I remember ever being I'm hungry and really fed up wwwwwwaaaaaaaaa OK whinge over.

Have good weekends girls xxxxxxx and you joe xxxxxxx

Laura and others - I felt the same way, and my wife probably did when she was pregnant with Joshua. At times I felt guilty for not being excited like I was the first time but I just did not want to get my hopes up. We were always or at least I was always concerned and worried and just wanted to have our little baby in our arms safe and sound. Then I was more at peace, once Laura and others helped me through the uncertain new moments of having a baby to take care of. Thanks for all your help with my questions and concerns. (THERE WERE A FEW)

Laura - I have had my blood drawn, Millions of times and that is not exaggerating. Growing up with severe asthma and on so many different medications and allergy shots and the monthly blood drawn growing up. Which we talked about before. I hope you get your rest and pig out on some healthy food.

I just want to say thank you to everybody for being who you are.

I had a better day today. Have a good weekend everybody.

Love from all of our family to all of you and yours.

LOL I'm not saying I'm not used to having it done and as I've told you before you aren't the only one in the world with asthma, I was given arsnic in suppostry form for 2 years I had to have bloods done weekly and I had this student one afternoon who didn't connect the file properly so I had blood running down my arm I've been extreamly warey of having bloods taken since I really don't think it should come out lets put it this way.
My midwife hurt me this morning but then my colitis is making me loose blood too so having that much removed plus the loss anyway I'm in rag doll form I'm feeling pretty crappy and ready to bite.

Laura - I was just mentioning my own personal experience with all the needles and blood tests, I know I am not the only one. Just sharing my thoughts.

Wow, That must have been scary bleeding all over the place like that. That would make anybody wary of having blood drawn, I have never really had any bad blood drawn experiences.

Well laura, I did not know that you were a vampire too. Hee Hee (JK)

Hope you get plenty of rest. Good night Laura. Goodnight everybody. Going to get off the computer before the lightning strikes. We are in for a heck of a storm.

Joe

Joe I was physically sick over the trainee nurse I was only 18 at the time too she was so lucky I didn't stab her with the needle, every week after that I used to demand the sister in charge if the blood unit lol no bugger was practising on me.
I know they have to learn but hell that was not something I wish to repeat lol poor girl I probably scared the living daylights out of her.

You need to be spoiled!

Hot chocolate and strawberries and a warm cozy couch, while Millie is taken care of by someone else.

Tell Ben to get right on that!

Not a hope no one to have millie even for an hour, I'm a 24/7 mummy hhehehehehe he does do the getting up at night though :D

/hugs

As wonderful as that is, I'm also sure that at times, especially when you're so tired, it's awful too.

At least give yourself a bubble bath and something sweet tonight after she lays down to sleep.

Oh I feel like a total weenie, I have never had a bad experience with drawing blood but, my own makes me so weak and I get hot flashes, ohhhhhh poor you Laura. I just can't believe the things you have gone through physically. Dang girl you are courageous! Yes a nice rest will do you good! Ohhhhhhh You all have a lovely weekend, I guess the lady is running late from DHS so I will be bored while I wait!

She's in bed its 9.30pm here I've had a bath we ordered pizza I'm ready for bed but I need to let my food go down lol

Oh good, pizza sounds great! CBW, do you know that you are wonderful?

Wonderfulls one hell of a strong word lol maybe I'm just OK but then were all OK in my book and we always will be, as Allheart said the other night I have a hard heart but that doesn't mean I don't love you all :D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by curlybenswife

wonderfulls one hell of a strong word lol maybe im just ok but then were all ok in my book and we always will be, as Allheart said the other night i have a hard heart but that doesnt mean i dont love you all :D

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Oh heavens Laura and heck no! Hard heart you? Hello? No way. Oh honey, I hope I never said that, and you bet your bippy never thought that and surely can't remember ever saying that. Oh forgive me if my words ever came out that gave that meaning. Ugh.
Oh Miss Laura, no way do you have a hard heart. Nice try, sweetie. Your heart is gold and golden.

Love you my Laura! And one and all.

A golden heart is a flipping hard one ;)

Oh shush, you both are wonderful! Are we going to stay this sentimental from now on, I kind of liked it when you guys were a little tiffy! Hee hee. Hope you have a nice weekend, I am going to rest so I can gear up for the boys on Monday! I am hoping one week and their mommy finds a nice place around here to live! Hugs, Start

Hehehehehe you must feel so excited :D its gonne be a crazy house but a full one and a fun one wish I was there :D

Me too then I could help with Millie and you can get yer butt in bed for some much needed rest!

/millie would be in her element with all those small people about hehehehehe she loves other kids.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by curlybenswife

a golden heart is a flipping hard one ;)

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Now I don't know what the chinese writing says... :confused: I'm hoping it says heart of gold :D

http://www.cedd.gov.hk/eng/greening/...lden_heart.jpg

How cute is that?