I have been living with excuses and gaslighting for the last years,I am reading and educating myself about abuse and it is a real eye-opener.I used to take on all his stuff and now I can heal.Him moving to another state was a blessing.He sometimes calls me when he is high or drunk or whatever and I just keep it short.he will be here in two weeks for my immigration stuff and hopefully he will not mess up and that would be another step into indipendance.But so far I am doing good.