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-   -   Sex addiction - should I see a male or female counsellor? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=357511)

  • May 24, 2009, 09:58 PM
    Clough

    I also think that he sounds like the right person.
  • May 24, 2009, 09:59 PM
    Meow420
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Clough View Post
    I also think that he sounds like the right person.

    Thank you for your input :)
    Even though you might think I'm the worst person in the world, you are commentin in an unbiased way.. thank u
  • May 24, 2009, 10:03 PM
    Clough

    Thanks, I try! :)
  • May 24, 2009, 10:04 PM
    Justwantfair

    We all make bad judgement calls. What we do with our future is what makes us and breaks us. You are making the right step for yourself and that is what is important.

    Don't beat yourself up about this, just move forward for yourself. Learn from this experience. Good luck to you.
  • May 24, 2009, 10:08 PM
    Alty

    If I had a dime every time I mad a mistake I'd be a very rich woman! We all make mistakes, like Justy said (Justy, you and I seem to be sharing a brain tonight!) but it's what you do now that counts.

    Don't look back, look forward. Know that we're here if you need to talk. We've all been through something and survived, you will too.

    I'm happy for you, this is the start of a whole new life for you, you just have to let it happen. :)
  • May 25, 2009, 12:18 AM
    artlady
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Meow420 View Post
    thank u for your input :)
    even tho you might think im the worst person in the world, you are commentin in an unbiased way.. thank u

    I don't think anyone thinks you're the worst person in the world.
    Don't beat yourself up,it is self limiting and counter productive. :)
  • May 25, 2009, 01:38 AM
    Meow420
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by artlady View Post
    I don't think anyone thinks your the worst person in the world.
    Don't beat yourself up,it is self limiting and counter productive. :)

    thank u artlady.. u people here are all very nice, although a bit angry to start with. (with reason)
    I'm feeling really positive about this site. Thanks x x x
  • May 25, 2009, 01:46 AM
    Clough

    Well, sometimes we need to do some discovery of a person first. Some people do jump to conclusions right away though. I am one of those who likes to take things slow in the discovery process.

    I, for one, do think that you're headed in the right path to heal yourself from your addiction.

    Thank you for your compliment!
  • May 25, 2009, 02:02 AM
    cmfundi
    Pardon me, but is there such a thing as a sex addict?
  • May 25, 2009, 02:03 AM
    Meow420
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by cmfundi View Post
    Pardon me, but is there such a thing as a sex addict?

    Yes there is... look it up
  • May 25, 2009, 02:10 AM
    Clough
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by cmfundi View Post
    Pardon me, but is there such a thing as a sex addict?

    Hi, cmfundi!

    Yes, Bill Clinton, former U.S. president might be a good example.
  • May 25, 2009, 08:07 AM
    ordinaryguy

    Hello Meow,

    I've read this and all your other threads, and I think I can understand the conflict you're feeling. One thing I'm convinced of is that you're not a horrible person, as some here have labeled you. Don't believe it. You are, however, outside the mainstream of society's norms and expectations, especially for a woman, so like it or not, you will get a lot of flack for that. It goes with the territory.

    It's good that you're going to see a counselor. Whether you decide to make a change in your life, or just learn better ways to cope with the fact that you're different, it's good to get some help with it. You're thirty years old, which means that in astrological terms you're in the midst of your first Saturn return, which is a time of self-examination and decision about which behaviors and attitudes to keep and which to discard. It's never an easy process, but the fact that you're willing to get help bodes well for you, I think. If you're interested in the astrological angle, PM me and I'll send you some stuff.

    I truly do wish you well. It's hard to follow your own path when it takes you outside the ordinary and conventional, but trying to make yourself follow a path that isn't really yours ends up being harder in the long run. Some people are just not cut out for long-term pair bonding, and you may be one of them. Here's some recent research on the subject that I find fascinating, and you might as well.

    THE WAY WE LIVE NOW: 7-18-04; Curing Casanova - The New York Times

    A Commitment Pill? - Olivia Judson Blog - NYTimes.com

    A Love Vaccine? - TierneyLab Blog - NYTimes.com

    Being Human: Love: Neuroscience reveals all : Article : Nature
  • May 25, 2009, 08:11 AM
    Fr_Chuck

    I see part of the issue, with you already saying that you don't want the couselor to "judge" ** which they don't at least publicly to you, ( all people have opinions)

    But the fact is what do you want the couselor to do for you, help you stop having the addiction, if so are you willig to leave the sex trade. The result or desire of counseling means you want some change.
  • May 25, 2009, 08:36 AM
    Meow420
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ordinaryguy View Post
    Hello Meow,

    I've read this and all your other threads, and I think I can understand the conflict you're feeling. One thing I'm convinced of is that you're not a horrible person, as some here have labeled you. Don't believe it. You are, however, outside the mainstream of society's norms and expectations, especially for a woman, so like it or not, you will get a lot of flack for that. It goes with the territory.

    It's good that you're going to see a counselor. Whether you decide to make a change in your life, or just learn better ways to cope with the fact that you're different, it's good to get some help with it. You're thirty years old, which means that in astrological terms you're in the midst of your first Saturn return, which is a time of self-examination and decision about which behaviors and attitudes to keep and which to discard. It's never an easy process, but the fact that you're willing to get help bodes well for you, I think. If you're interested in the astrological angle, PM me and I'll send you some stuff.

    I truly do wish you well. It's hard to follow your own path when it takes you outside the ordinary and conventional, but trying to make yourself follow a path that isn't really yours ends up being harder in the long run. Some people are just not cut out for long-term pair bonding, and you may be one of them. Here's some recent research on the subject that I find fascinating, and you might as well.

    THE WAY WE LIVE NOW: 7-18-04; Curing Casanova - The New York Times

    A Commitment Pill? - Olivia Judson Blog - NYTimes.com

    A Love Vaccine? - TierneyLab Blog - NYTimes.com

    Being Human: Love: Neuroscience reveals all : Article : Nature

    OMG OK I have found someone that kind of gets me lol.. I'm only new to this site and don't know how to pm, but I'm definatley interested in what you have to share! Get back to me!
  • May 25, 2009, 08:39 AM
    Meow420
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck View Post
    I see part of the issue, with you already saying that you don't want the couselor to "judge" ** which they don't at least publicly to you, ( all people have opinions)

    But the fact is what do you want the couselor to do for you, help you stop having the addiction, if so are you willig to leave the sex trade. The result or desire of couseling means you want some change.

    What I am seeking the help of a counsellor for is to find out if me living with a sexual addiction is OK.. or if it's that bad and I am blinded by it and I'm not seeing how it is negatively effecting my life...
  • May 25, 2009, 01:21 PM
    ordinaryguy
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Meow420 View Post
    OMG ok i have found someone that kinda gets me lol.. im only new to this site and dont know how to pm, but im definatley interested in what u have to share!! Get back to me!!

    Click on my username (at the left), then select "Send a personal message to ordinaryguy" from the drop-down menu.

    P.S. You'll have to enable private messaging in your profile--click "My Profile" at the top of any page, then choose "Edit Options" from the menu on the left, and check the "Enable private messaging" box.
  • May 25, 2009, 02:16 PM
    Clough

    Hi, all!

    In keeping with the site's policies, please do keep all information on the threads so that others who have similar questions might benefit by the information that's given here.

    Another thing is, if, after a thread has been started and developed, it's unfair to the others who have participated on the thread, if information is shared privately. It leaves the others who have participated in confusion because of not knowing what information has been exchanged.

    There is also the risk of having the thread closed because of contact happening outside of the thread.

    I just wanted you to know...

    Thanks!
  • May 25, 2009, 03:36 PM
    ordinaryguy
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Clough View Post
    Hi, all!

    In keeping with the site's policies, please do keep all information on the threads so that others who have similar questions might benefit by the information that's given here.

    Another thing is, if, after a thread has been started and developed, it's unfair to the others who have participated on the thread, if information is shared privately. It leaves the others who have participated in confusion because of not knowing what information has been exchanged.

    There is also the risk of having the thread closed because of contact happening outside of the thread.

    I just wanted you to know...

    Thanks!

    I just checked the Site rules and I don't find any prohibition against private messaging. If I'm missing something, please provide a link.

    I did find this, however:
    Quote:

    Any communication or material you post or transmit to the Site is and will be treated as non-confidential and non-proprietary... you grant Ask Me Help Desk and its affiliates the right to edit, copy, publish and distribute any information or content you post or transmit for any purpose.
    So that sounds to me like I shouldn't post anything publicly that I'm not willing to have edited, copied, published or distributed. In other words, I give up my copyright protection if I post anything here that I've written.
  • May 25, 2009, 07:17 PM
    Meow420

    Um I have no idea what u guys are talking about now lol... is it not allowed to cht further on matters in private?
  • May 25, 2009, 07:26 PM
    Meow420
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ordinaryguy View Post
    Click on my username (at the left), then select "Send a personal message to ordinaryguy" from the drop-down menu.

    P.S. You'll have to enable private messaging in your profile--click "My Profile" at the top of any page, then choose "Edit Options" from the menu on the left, and check the "Enable private messaging" box.

    I don't seem to have an "enable chat" option in my edit options bit... start a new thread perhaps? Want my email?

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