Yep more often than not when you try to help an addict they drag your life down and destroy it. There is compassion and there is tough love but they have to want help.
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Yep more often than not when you try to help an addict they drag your life down and destroy it. There is compassion and there is tough love but they have to want help.
Part of the way I think is that those addicted, don't have a clue what they want. Motivation exists only to the next fix.
We leave them at their worst, and hope for the best. Death is a very real possibility. The worst possible outcome, and perhaps we give up too soon.
And, I do speak from personal experience. I had a heroin addicted teenager. I do understand how 'system's work, and where they fail. Part of the problem is we expect miracles when we do get them into treatment, and we don't demand enough accountability from those treating our loved ones.
While the ultimate change for an addict has to be under their own steam, there is no way that change should mean the decision to live or die.
I have addressed judges, lawyers, psychiatrists, counsellors, street workers, teachers, nurses, doctors and anybody else that crossed my path. Any help in keeping your loved one alive, until they DO reach the point where they decide to change, comes with a price, but it is worth it.
To not fight, and fight hard, and turn away instead. I just cannot accept that.
Yeah they don't know what they want because they are a slave to the craving of the drug so until they cry out in desperation all the rehab in the world won't fix them. They will go right back to it in a heart beat.
Turning away really isn't the answer but most people are there trying to help and only accomplish being an enabler to the addict.
What would you suggest as helping an addict that would make them turn around?
Take away any means of support and let the addict know that when they are ready to make changes help is available...
The question your asking is impossible to answer, you can only take away what you give to make it more uncomfortable for your niece to continue to use.
The rehab world is deeply flawed. It too, has a philosophy of treating the immediate symptoms, cleaning people up, and saying they did their bit.
I don't buy that. I have seen too many treated like cattle, and turned out to the same old pasture.
What we overlook, and don't pay enough attention to, is two-fold. One is the mental health issues. Not all addicts think, behave, and recover according to one type of treatment. People assessing that part of their needs, are incompentent. It costs money to have skilled professionals deal with a (newly) sober person, who's needs are complicated and take time. It is easier to get them out the door sober, and bring in a new one, and more profitable. It all boils down to money, unless you have unlimited amounts of cash.
The best of the professionals should be able to tell you what they have assesssed. How, why, what their interpretations are, what their treatment plan is, how they plan to implement it, what are the expected outcomes, what is the follow-up, what are the additional services/referrals available, what if any, are the legal obligations. Accountability.
Many treating our loved ones are addicts with their own prejudices and some have very limited vision, but consider themselves experts because they've 'been there'. I mean no disrespect here, sincerely I don't, but, that is the way it is, at least in my experience.
I have seen addicts released from treatment to happy smiling faces of family members thinking that all is well, and it is not. It is only the beginning. Many go around the same patterns many times.
What is not incorporated into a plan where there are willing friends and family members, is the great resources that THEY have to assist in the treatment of a loved one. There has to be a plan in place with clear expectations and goals, with a social worker, street worker, sponsor, minister, whatever it takes, to turn to when the going gets rough. You build a circle around your loved one, and share the load. Swallow your pride, and beg if you have to, knock on doors, whatever it takes.
Living without the physical addiction is one thing. Rebuilding a life is quite another. It is a commitment that I personally think people would be more than willing to do if they realized that they could affect change for their loved one in the first place, and were included in the long-term treatment plan.
I have seen people give up, and believe me, I understand and empathize with them. We all have our limits. I don't know what kept me going except for, and this will sound a bit corny, an advert on TV, by Carrol O'Connor. He said, "do whatever you have to do to get between your kid and drugs". I took that to mean both sides of the coin, which included incompetent 'professionals'. Because, their limited focus and treatment left the door wide open for the addict to return to where they were.
As to an active addiction going on, and self-destructive risk taking behaviours of the addict, address it. Even if you spend an hour over a cup of coffee, or share a meal, or accept a phone call from them, don't let the only thing they hear be silence.
There will be clues, opportunities, reflection. Offer unlimited love, and listen. When they are sober, think of it as an open window, and get all you can in there before it closes. Don't judge, don't freak out. Be informed, educate yourself, learn to understand addiction issues, and be prepared to take a good long look at how your own life is affecting (or has affected) the person struggling to surivie sitting in front of you. Keep trying. Keep the door open.
Never turn your back on them and walk away.
There is a place that is suppose to be better than the average rehab because they deal with nutritionally balancing the imbalances from the drugs.
Arche Wellness Welcome To Arche Wellness
But if an addict wants that lifestyle nothing will fix them
I've had a very heavy cough and during that time I could not breath. In the recovery process I received heavy itching all over my body. And more so on my throat. The one on my throat cuases later pain as I feel something moving up and down within my gut. As I want to through out I instead I through white but in a type of "foam" sylive. I keep passing gas though my mouth and behind. It is taking me now a month and I am getting so much worried about this case as I don't how to handle it. I can't swallow food because it is so paining. I need help because I want to know the treatment I can use and also to know its name.
I can understand where your coming from, but blaming the system is not the answer, as the addict is responsible for his own actions, and until they take that responsibility, everyone suffers.
Your right about after detoxing, getting to the root cause is important.
Sorry for your situation. Its plays out all over the country, and its always up to the addict whether he changes or not.
It's a harsh reality, that must be faced.
Petronilla
You need to post your own question because going off someone else's very few people will see it.
Post it in the medical section and J_9 will probably be able to help you but sounds like you need to get to the doctors.
Drug addicted people who do not get intervention have a great chance of dying an early death. You cannot force them into recovery. They have to want to help themselves. The only thing you can do is let her know you are concerned very much, that you love her and are fearful of the consequences of her addiction.Quote:
Originally Posted by misshar
I'm a recovering drug addict! Get her and intervension and go to a good rehab place my rehab is supportave but if she doesn't want to become sober it will never happen she has to be willing to change. Its sad because I like other addicts are fighting a diseise and the resoult to it without treatment is potentionlly death.
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