DiegoGirl,
I'm really sorry about your accident. And I hope you recover well. Be patient with yourself. It takes a long time to get over this kind of thing, longer than the doctors realize. In my case, it was several years, but I now think that being on the fentanyl slowed my recovery. So you are doing the right thing.
I'll tell you what I know based mainly on my own experiences. First, do not use the valium more than once or twice a week. Getting off a valium addiction is Harder than getting off Fentanyl. They put me on valium for five months and when I weaned myself I had terrible anxiety and nobody warned me. It lasted about a month. So if you have anxiety, it could be a reaction to the valium. I don't know anything about oxycontin, except the obvious, that it's addictive.
You can get off the fentanyl. It was not nearly as bad as I expected and not as bad as the methadone turned out to be (I was taking only 2.5 mg of methadone for pain most of the time). I think if you are going to be on a patch at all, use it every 48 hours. Otherwise, it's all ups and downs. Exhausting withdrawal.
I was on a 75 mcg patch and went to 50. I was on 50 for a long time. Then I went from 50 to 25. I did not taper. I just took off the patch and went without a patch for as long as I could stand it and then put on a 25 mcg patch. I personally wanted it to be over with, so I was looking for how much withdrawal I could stand at once. Like I say, most of it was not that bad.
I only had one bad spell, late one night about 40 hours after I took off the 50 mcg patch. I had what the junkies used to call the heebie jeebies--a feeling of intense apprehension. Plus my legs kept kicking. You'll know what it is if you get there. I hated it, so I took a valium and a vicodin, which brought me right back up to a tolerable level and I could sleep. The next morning it was just sleepiness and withdrawal. My pain was not a lot worse.
Rent a bunch a movies, stock the house with food and just plan a 4-5 day vacation with no obligations. Ideally, you'll have company, someone to give you hugs and bring you tea. It's not that bad. I felt half decent by the end of the week, although not myself for another couple of weeks. Then I went from 25 mcg to zero. Same story. NOT that hard. I'd say once I was off completely, there was vague residual feelings for a few months. But most of that was minor compared to the first week.
If I'd known how easy it would be I would have done it years earlier.
My fusion was in November 2004 and I was still on fentanyl in early 2008. I can definitely say that I have less pain without the fentanyl.
Good luck!
I'll watch for posts here if you want to talk about how it's going.