When does an addiction become an addiction? I'm 24 and my boyfriend will be 23, he looks at porn behind my back. I have told him that I would join in so he didn't have to hide it from me but he said that would be weird. It makes me feel bad and we don't have sex as often as I would like. It's strange to me that he would pick porn over me (or that's how I feel). We've been together 6 years and I know he's not cheating on me, but in a way he is. I guess I don't know if I'm looking for advice or an answer to why I'm not as appealing anymore. I just want to know why this happens and what I can do to help him and us. I keep thinking that I should cancel our internet, but I think that's the wrong approach.

Porn addiction is like a smoking addiction.
Only your boyfriend has the ability to quit.
Nothing you say or do will have any effect.
It would be wise for both of you to give up
The porno altogether and concentrate on
Improving your quality time together.
Good luck.

Thank you! And this might be a stupid question but do you have any advice on activities that we could do together.I think we are kind of in a slump over this.

Good question. It also has a million answers.
This may assist you.
Do everything in your power to please him, not only in sex,
But in everything in your life.
As he begins to realize how much you care for him,
He will began to respond in the same way.
Try to remember, if we would always put our loved one
Before ourselves, we would always be happy.

well you could put one of the children blockers on your service, so he could not get any porn on the internet at home.

It is an addiction and hard to stop. He gets a unrealistic idea of the relastionship between men and women, normally cheapening the value and idea of women. And the real issue here is also he knows it bothers you but will not stop anyway.

I had an employee, he was allowed to use the computer when he was not busy in the warehouse, we had a program that showed us usage. Well he was looking at porn, and really sick porn. We warned him ( could have fired him for first offense, since they sign notice of computer useage)
We explained that we watched and logged any sites vistied on the company computers, he stopped for a week, but just could not stop, he was back looking at porn within a week, and we had to fire him.

Let him know you are worried about him, and that you want your relastionship to work,

The purveyors of porn are in the business of selling *orgasms* by masturbation to males. Females are just depicted as receptacles. I think that men lose interest in having intercourse with women the longer they partake in porn.

I think he should be evaluated by a therapist to see how pervasive his addiction to porn has damaged him. Perhaps, there will be good news!

Got to know what you are dealing with in life so you know if it is better for you to move on.

Not everyone agrees with this, but watching porn together might actually help him to open up. I know this is an old post so you may not have issues anymore, but it helped me and my boyfriend. He opened up about it much more after we awkwardly watched one together, but about 10 minutes in we were just laughing about it and it wasn't awkward anymore.

Choux is right on. Talking heterosexually: Porn allows a guy to indulge in carnal fantasies without the need for human interaction. Basically: Men can have sex with virtual women without all the typical crap of a relationship with hormonal, irrational, unpredictable, real woman.

Therapists serve a great service here.

Now, to be fair, there is another side. Sometimes guys have a need to objectify women in a way that they believe will be degrading to their partners. So they surf porn instead of hurting your feelings, not realizing they are still hurting you - in a different way.

My advice is to find out what he surfing, and give him what he wants. Maybe he's just looking to get off in a particular way.n If you love him, then do it for him! Maybe he likes brunettes. --- die your hair, or wear a wig! Maybe he wants to be tied up! So buy some rope or duct tape.

My point is that unless you know WHY he surfs, then your really don't know enough to do anything.

Talk to a therapist.