Basically I'm looking for some professional advice on how to handle a situation with a male coworker of mine. He and I are acquaintances and I have always viewed our relationship as professional and platonic. I'm in a relationship and he's married. Anyhow, some days he's super friendly, wants to IM with me all day long (very productive thanks to businesses incorporating instant messangers) and others he avoids me. I'm not interested if that's your first reaction however we work on projects together and need to collaberate on deliverables. I'm all for developing a good rapport with colleagues although I think this has gone too far. One night after a team outing he asked if he could stay over since he lives far and actually tried kissing me. He also told me he liked me which I never gleaned in a million years. I chalked it up to lots of alcohol and inhibitions going out the window. Maybe I'm at fault for going out for drinks with him after work periodically. I always told my man what I was up to however my married friends said they doubted he was telling his wife. Whatever his sentiment is toward me doesn't matter. He's married and I would NEVER go there. I just want to know as a female the best way to conduct myself in a fashion such that we can still work together in a reasonable manner without him acting weird (extreme highs and lows). I enjoy having friends in the office and wish he never took this to another level.

You'll have to set firm boundaries without making excuses or apologies. Respond only to business IMs. Go out after work only with additional coworkers, not just with him. Do not flirt or be too friendly with him. Be professional at all times.

He had some help taking this to another level. Now it's time you come back to earth and insist, at least implicitly, that he also return to earth.

Stay professional. Keep things all business with him, leave out the pleasure and platonic friendship aspect.

Thanks for your opinion. I'm not claiming to be the victim here because it takes two to tango. Things actually got way out of hand; IMing me, emailing me in the evenings, asking if he could come over, asking me out for drinks after work. I finally put my foot down and told him to stop for the many obvious reasons. I feel really relieved and proud of my decision. I'm not going to lie. It felt intoxicating to have an attractive man express such strong interest but I'm not a homewrecker and my values mean more to me than the rush. It's wonderful to have a good friend but a married man is not a viable option for me. I'm free!

Good! Thanks for letting us know what happened.