I am 18 years old and my boyfriend is 19. We have been together about a year now and we are living with each other as well. When we have sex, I cannot orgasm with just him inside of me. I never have been able to. I do not know if this has anything to do with it.. . But I lost my virginity @ 13 to a sick man and I was wondering if that is maybe the cause? Because my body was not fully developed yet at that age.
When my boyfriend and I are having sex, I have to stimulate my clitoris while he and I are getting intimate. It bothers me so badly because I want nothing more than to be able to climax with just him. What can I do? What can he do? I know that many women experience this but is there a solution besides sex toys?

No, it is actually common, have you tried some of the "rings" and similar items he can wear to help stimulate when having sex.

Also what about foreplay, do you climax a few times before he actually starts the "sex"

And at the end of the day nothing wrong with fun sex toys to enjoy things more

Yes. We do all of that. We foreplay constantly and we have quite the variety of toys lol. I just want to be able to climax with just him, and not have my arm fall asleep after 10 minutes lol.

So you don't always climax with him inside of you, great when it happens sometime, but it does not always, the result is that you do at some point during your love making.

You can try positions, and some other thiings but at the end of the day, this does not always happen

Shoot, I hear you. Other than losing my virginity, I have been sexual sense that time so it has been 5 years, and I have never felt an orgasm the way that most women are lucky enough to. Kind of depressing. I mean, I do get orgasms, if I rub myself while we are having sex.. . But that is it. Its a lot of work, but worth it in the end. Just wish I could feel it the way most women do. That would be nice lol

Of course counseling, including couples may help you find a better mental attitude. The issues from childhood, problems of all sorts can effect.

And we have some better sex experts who can say things better, or have better ideas will come along latter today, maybe in a few days, people answer here in spare time, so please keep chekcing back.

Part of the issue is that in normal intercourse he is not stimulating the area you need, that is why at times positiong, and they make a neat vibator ring he can wear that may really hit the stop . But the wow of both of you climaxing at the same time is really more movie than ever happening in real life.

And of course read the many posts of women who don't know what a climax is, and oh well,

The main thing is not to give up, and first enjoy what you have, but then only try and make it better if possible

Have him stimulate your clitoris while you are being intimate instead. It's easier if you two are laying on your sides and of course, you are in front of him, with your back to him. This might help you relax because you don't have to focus on your hands at all. And then after that when you're almost there maybe just ask him to move his hand and see if it works. Good luck, if anything, you'll have a lot of fun. :)

You do realize that most women do not have an orgasm with just sex alone, don't you?

Heck, a lot of women never even experience an orgasm period.

The fact that you can get yourself to orgasm through clitoral stimulation or any other stimulation, that's great.

There are positions you can try, but if you think this is something that is expected and you're upset because you can't reach it, then I have news for you, you're likely going to continue being disappointed.

Why can't he massage your clitoris during sex?

It's fun to try new things, but not if you're expecting certain results to be a given.

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Originally Posted by ronarrowman

Shoot, I hear ya. Other than losing my virginity, I have been sexual sense that time so it has been 5 years, and I have never felt an orgasm the way that most women are lucky enough to. Kind of depressing. I mean, I do get orgasms, if I rub myself while we are having sex . . . but that is it. Its alot of work, but worth it in the end. Just wish I could feel it the way most women do. That would be nice lol

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Another thing that I should point out, is that Not most women CAN orgasm with just the man inside him, it's really difficult for some women to orgasm at all, so you're really not as alone as you thing you are.

Also, I definitely think you Should get counseling about the incident when you were 13. If that man is not in Jail, it's time he is.