Hi, I am your hypothetical child,

I would like to be born to a mom and dad that can afford to have me both emotionally and financially. I would also like to be born to a couple that can afford to give me a home, diapers, food and many of the other necessities that I will require.

I guarantee that if you and my Dad aren't getting along right now then I will definitely tear you apart. I will suck away every penny that you make and I still won't be happy. I will cry allot, sometimes for days on end. I will make a mess in my diaper so often that you will think that's all I do. I do not like going out to hang with your friends; I need peace and quite, even though I won't give you any. I am one of the most selfish creatures on the face of this earth; if I weren’t then I'd die. I need to scream and complain in order to communicate with you, this will drive you crazy.

If you don't want to have me when you're still young, if you can't give me everything that I need then please use birth control, use two, or better yet, don't have sex until you're ready to have me. All it takes is one mistake and I'll be coming to see you in 9 months. Is this sinking in, or are you still in denial?

Sincerely,

Your potential child

I am humbled. Very profound insight, Altenweg...

XenoSapien

You are so closed minded and I pray that God can forgive you and show you that you are not the maker you are a person you need to focus on your children not other people

Lilmama19, this is brilliant. This is an out-cry for teens to wake up, and stop putting so much emphasis on their sexual urges. This is a statement that is not closed minded; rather, "solved minded".

XenoSapien

Lilmama- I am the mother of two wonderful children, I was 28 years old when I had my first, married, financially ready and able to care for a child and emotionally ready to raise a child. I did not need any help from my parents or welfare etc. to give my children everything that they need in life.

I come to this site to try and make a difference in peoples lives, some people deserve my sympathy and some don't. I do sympathy with your babies situation, even with you to some degree, I don't know how hard it is to have a baby inside me that might be taken away or that I might have to give up, but, then again, I never would have gotten myself into this position in the first place, with all the birth control available there is absolutely no reason to have a child until you are ready, and "I want one" isn't being ready, it's being selfish and the only person who ends up suffering is the child.

This post was not meant to make you feel bad, besides, you're already pregnant so it's a bit late for this message, I was just hoping to show things from a babies point of view and maybe make a few people wake up and smell the coffee. You have a right to your opinion and I do wish you and your unborn child luck in the future. Take care.

I agree I am only 17 haha I don't have a job etc its funny as 3 people I know already have kids and I just wonder how they can look after the kid... hell I am not looking after myself at all yet... live off my parents..

Yeah I am a virgin but I have been giving oral sex from people I know well and have got emotionally attached with... :) never going to give until I find the right person haha don't want to catch anything :) I am up for a lot but yeah sex with protection but only if I got to know you real well and I haven't got that far with any girlfriend yet however some girls are more willing than others I have been offered it a few times but declined the opportunity which I sometimes regret looking back at it!

Also I feel I would have to know someone well before I got into their pants I isn't the kind of guy to have a one night stand but that's just me tons of guys are the complete opposite :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by terellowens

never gonna give until I find the right person haha don't wanna catch anything

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Virtually all STDs that you can get from penile-vaginal intercourse you can also catch with oral sex.

So, you are still not protected. You can still get chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes, etc via oral sex.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by lilmama19

you are so closed minded and i pray that God can forgive you and show you that you are not the maker you are a person you need to focus on your children not other people

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Huh?? I haven't a clue what you are talking about or what your possible problem could be with Altenweg wrote.

Terell- It is so nice to hear from someone your age that is willing to wait until they find the right person. The thing is, I'm not necessarily saying that you have to wait until marriage, I didn't, I'm just saying that when the time comes be smart about it, there is an abundance of birth control products out there, there is no reason to become a parent until you are ready. Just so you know, I've never met a teen that is ready to be a parent.

You teens have your whole lives ahead of you and only one shot to get it right, don't mess it up over passion and stupidity, once you go down that path you're just waiting to get hit by on coming traffic.

Thanks for responding to my post, maybe there's hope yet.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by J_9

Virtually all STDs that you can get from penile-vaginal intercourse you can also catch with oral sex.

So, you are still not protected. You can still get chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes, etc via oral sex.

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By been the recipient ?

Terrellowens:

It is possible to transmit an STD from the mouth to the genitals. Both gonorrhea and herpes are sexually transmitted diseases that can be transferred from the mouth to the genitals via oral sex. For example, herpes sores on the mouth can come into contact with the penis during oral sex, and this contact could result in the male's contracting genital herpes. Several STDs can be transferred not only through semen or vaginal secretions, but also through saliva. For these reasons, it is important to always be safe when engaging in oral sex. If you have any doubts about your partner's prior sexual history, be sure to use a condom or other barrier methods to protect yourself from contracting an STD.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by mwilliams15

terrellowens:

it is possible to transmit an STD from the mouth to the genitals. Both gonorrhea and herpes are sexually transmitted diseases that can be transferred from the mouth to the genitals via oral sex. For example, herpes sores on the mouth can come into contact with the penis during oral sex, and this contact could result in the male's contracting genital herpes. Several STDs can be transferred not only through semen or vaginal secretions, but also through saliva. For these reasons, it is important to always be safe when engaging in oral sex. If you have any doubts about your partner's prior sexual history, be sure to use a condom or other barrier methods to protect yourself from contracting an STD.

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I didn't know :(

Damn that now why wasn't I told this at school guess I got to go get myself tested
Though I do trust the people I was with better to be 100% safe


Thanks for the swift response

Your welcome terrellowens =)
Learn something new everyday, lol.

Ultimately, sex is only an extension--not a foundation.

XenoSapien

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Altenweg

Terell- It is so nice to hear from someone your age that is willing to wait until they find the right person. The thing is, I'm not necessarily saying that you have to wait until marriage, I didn't, I'm just saying that when the time comes be smart about it, there is an abundance of birth control products out there, there is no reason to become a parent until you are ready. Just so you know, I've never met a teen that is ready to be a parent.

You teens have your whole lives ahead of you and only one shot to get it right, don't mess it up over passion and stupidity, once you go down that path you're just waiting to get hit by on coming traffic.

Thanks for responding to my post, maybe there's hope yet.

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Guess what? At 16, the second time I had sex, using THREE forms of birth control (correctly, yes--I wasn't stupid), I got pregnant.

So... either you're saying wait until marriage, because birth control fails, or you're automatically assuming that all teens are stupid, don't use birth control, and have no idea they can get pregnant from sex.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Synnen

Guess what? at 16, the second time I had sex, using THREE forms of birth control (correctly, yes--I wasn't stupid), I got pregnant.

So...either you're saying wait until marriage, because birth control fails, or you're automatically assuming that all teens are stupid, don't use birth control, and have no idea they can get pregnant from sex.

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I disagree she is saying it seems most teens are not financially,emotionally ready for the consequences that come with sex... (a child) and whatever else life still has to throw at us at such a young age...

Some may be ready at 17-18 that's your decision but most will have a child once they are ready to in all departments of life!

Synnen- I am most definitely not saying that you are stupid, if you read my other post maybe you'll understand a bit better.

I am sick and tired of hearing "Hi, I'm 14,15 etc and I had unprotected sex with my boyfriend, could I be pregnant, what do I do?"

Birth control isn't 100% effective all of the time, only absitnence is, and wouldn't it be a wonderful world if everyone abstained from sex until they were ready to be parents.

You did everything right and it still didn't work, but most times it does, you have to admit that using birth control is still safer than not using it. The pill is 97% effective, a condom 80% if used correctly, so there is a good chance that if you use these methods you won't get pregnant. You did, and obviously it worked out okay for you, but we both know that isn't the norm.

Feel free to disagree with me, I value your opinion, and I hope you can understand mine.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Altenweg

Synnen- I am most definitely not saying that you are stupid, if you read my other post maybe you'll understand a bit better.

I am sick and tired of hearing "Hi, I'm 14,15 etc and I had unprotected sex with my boyfriend, could I be pregnant, what do I do?"

Birth control isn't 100% effective all of the time, only absitnence is, and wouldn't it be a wonderful world if everyone abstained from sex until they were ready to be parents.

You did everything right and it still didn't work, but most times it does, you have to admit that using birth control is still safer than not using it. The pill is 97% effective, a condom 80% if used correctly, so there is a good chance that if you use these methods you won't get pregnant. You did, and obviously it worked out okay for you, but we both know that isn't the norm.

Feel free to disagree with me, I value your opinion, and I hope you can understand mine.

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Altenweg, you have definitively proven a great point. There is no point in defending yourself any further because you have hit the nail exactly on dead-center: ABSTINENCE. Let those that don't like that idea of sedating their physical urges continue to writhe on the ground of ignorance. You have truly been lucid, precise and sapient. If those who oppose don't get it now, they never will.

XenoSapien

What we don't understand, because we are older, is that times have changed. It's a different era when peer pressures are different. In my generation it was peer pressure to stick your tongue on a cold metal pole (A Christmas Story).

Children these days are maturing at a much faster rate because many HAVE to. They are latch-key kids who have to learn a lot on their own.

As a mother of 4 children ranging in ages from 22 - 6, I can tell you that we can teach abstinence all we want, but that is not the reality in the real world.

Better yet to teach birth control, ethics, morals, and values and let our children make their decisions.

I can tell you that from my parenting my 22 year old got married this October, he was a virgin until about 3 months before the wedding and he confided that to me. My 20 year old has not been a virgin for 2 years, he also confided that to me. Both of them told me because, as they said, in their own words "I don't want you to be disappointed in me."

What we have here is a lack of parenting. It's not just the kids, you can't lay all the blame there, you have to give some blame to parents who are not as involved as they should be or uninvolved completely in their children's lives.

In school last semester (women's health), we were given some homework... those of us who had children were to ask them if they were sexually active, if they weren't would they ask us for birth control if they planned on sexual activity... would they want us in the room with them and the doctor during "private" discussions.

So, I asked my daughter, she's 14, she said that she would be perfectly comfortable asking me about sex (and she had even before that), she would ask me to take her for birth control should she consider sex, she would want me in the room with her and the doctor, even during "private" conversations.

What some of us don't understand that it is parenting that is failing here, not the children.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Altenweg

Hi, I am your hypothetical child,

I would like to be born to a mom and dad that can afford to have me both emotionally and financially. I would also like to be born to a couple that can afford to give me a home, diapers, food and many of the other necessities that I will require.

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I do see where this message might be offensive to someone who is single and pregnant, and not planning on having an abortion.

I understand the point that was trying to be made, and in the proper place, it might be less offensive.

Would you all think it proper to force this message on a classroom of pregnant teens?

I hope not, but there was little or no explanation as to what or who the topic was intended, and I believe that led to some feelings that you were attacking expectant teens by use of what their baby was telling them...

Not a very nice message when you consider it from that perspective.